Today we are celebrating our 100th episode of the podcast. And to celebrate, I’m having a conversation with my friend and mentor, Jody Moore.
If you are a missionary or an RM you may struggle with setting goals or taking your life or mission a little seriously. When things feel heavy and it all feels “high stakes” we actually do less in moving towards what we really want.
In my conversation with Jody we talk about the differences between coaching and therapy, how coaching has changed both of our lives, the benefit having fun and how to drop comparison and lean into the process.
Listen in to learn:
- How adding fun into the process can be critical to your success
- Why reaching or not reaching your goal doesn’t have to mean anything about you
- How to drop the comparison trap and go after what you want
After having her first two kids, Jody Moore struggled with work/life balance, embracing motherhood, and liking herself. As an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints she felt guilty for not loving the role of mother and wife, and turned to life coaching for help. The transformation she experienced not only helped her at work and at home, it strengthened her testimony of Christ leading her to dive into learning the tools of coaching and to leave her position as a corporate leadership coach to launch her own coaching practice. Jody is certified through The Life Coach School and completed Master Coach Certification in 2018.
Today Jody has helped tens of thousands of people through her top-rated podcast Better Than Happy as well as her coaching membership program Be Bold. She has 4 children ages 6 – 16 and resides in Spokane, Washington with them, her husband, and their French bulldog Finn and cat Oscar.
Learn more from Jody:
Jody’s Podcast: Better Than Happy
Jody’s Coaching Membership: Be Bold
Learn more from Jennie:
Free Training for Preparing Missionaries: Change Your Mission with this One Tool
Free Video Series: 3 Tools to Help RMs in Their Transition Home
Free Guide: 5 Tips to Help Any Returning Missionary
Free Strategy Call: Click Here
Jennie Dildine 0:00 Hey, What is up everyone? It’s Jennie Dildine, the LDS mission coach and you are listening to the LDS mission podcast episode number 100. This is going to be fun with Jody Moore. Hey, I’m Jenny, the LDS mission coach. And whether you’re preparing to serve a mission, currently serving a returned missionary or a missionary mama like me, I created this podcast just for you. Are you searching for epic confidence? Ready to love yourself and to learn the how of doing hard things? Then let’s go. I will help you step powerfully into your potential and never question your purpose. Again. It’s time to embrace yourself. Embrace your mission, embrace your life, and embrace what’s next. Hey, what’s up, everybody? Welcome to the podcast. I am so excited today, because today is episode 100. And I distinctly remember the day when I was like, you know, what do you think I’m going to do? I think I’m going to start a podcast to get more help out to missionaries, and to their families, I think that would be a really cool thing to do. And here we are 100 episodes later. And so in order to celebrate that, I invited one of my very favorite people onto the podcast today. Jody Moore. There is so much that I admire about Jody, she’s an amazing coach. She’s an author. She’s a gifted public speaker. And really, she has been an inspiration to me over the years of how to reach out and help more people. Not only that, but just be an amazing, compassionate, kind, loving human being. And so I want to share this episode with you. We’re going to talk about all kinds of things for missionaries. Sometimes I feel like the goals that we set as missionaries get very serious and and we get very down on ourselves about goals and things. And Jody is one of those people that I have watched set goals and reach them and do it in a magical way. Sending so much love out to you Jody more. Thanks so much for coming on my podcast, I know that you guys are going to love her and love what she has to say. So without further ado, here is my conversation with Jodi Moore. Hey, welcome to the podcast, Jodi Moore. I’m so excited that you’re here with me today.
Jody Moore 2:40 I’m so excited to talk to you, Jenny. Thanks for having me.
Jennie Dildine 2:43 Yeah, you guys, you have to know that Jody has been an inspiration to me for many, many years. And with this being the 100th episode of my podcast, I decided it was only fitting for her to come on because she was very instrumental in my life up to this feel
Jody Moore 3:05 so honored that I get to be your guests on episode 100. That’s a huge milestone. Congratulations.
Jennie Dildine 3:12 It’s fun. Yeah, it’s fun to hear. Well, today, we’re gonna talk all about this is gonna be fun.
Jody Moore 3:22 My mantra for life.
Jennie Dildine 3:24 Yeah. When Oh, God. So before we get into that, why don’t you tell us a little bit about you and, and your life and what you do and all the amazing things.
Jody Moore 3:36 Okay, I am a coach like you, Jenny. I, I worked in corporate for many years before becoming a coach. I am a mom of four kids. And all of that actually is not what my life plan was at all. I was gonna get married in college, and then be a stay at home mom, and live happily ever after that was the plan. But it didn’t work out that way. I did not get married until I was almost 30. Actually, I was 30 turned 30 The week before I got married, and then ended up working partly because I needed to in the beginning but then I ended up loving working. So anyway, I did corporate for many years I did. I’ve done a lot of sales jobs, customer service, and then I did leadership coaching at the end. And that’s what led me to the world of coaching in general. And I felt so in love with it and wanted to work more with people on just their everyday life problems versus corporate at that point. So I’ve been in coach now for I’ve had my coaching practice, I should say for nine years. And I love it so much. I get to meet amazing people like you I’ve I just feel really blessed to get to do what I do. Yeah. If
Jennie Dildine 4:50 like, how would you just describe like, if you had to put coaching like in a nutshell just like describe it real quick like what? What do you do? Jody has a program called Be bold, where she does a lot of coaching. And has coaches like me that work with her if you just had to kind of put it in a nutshell for people what coaching is or what it does for people, what would you say?
Jody Moore 5:14 It’s a good question. I always use the analogy of the gym, like for our physical fitness, we need to, sometimes we need a doctor, right? Sometimes we are sick, and we need specialized treatments and medications and everything from a doctor. And that’s sort of how I think about therapy, if you will, traditional therapy. At whereas coaching is more like the gym, like I may not have any broken bones or, or any, you know, any particular illness, but I might still want to improve my physical fitness, or at the very least maintain as much as possible my physical fitness as a age. And I think that’s true for our mental and emotional health, we can do the same we can maintain or and or strengthen and I think what we’re all capable of, mentally and emotionally, is so far beyond what any of us have even ever dreamed. I think that the the I love coaching for, you know, navigating challenges and problems in life, it’s really useful. But I also love it for like creating a life that’s more extraordinary than you ever even dreamed. That’s what I know, it’s done for me. And I know it’s done that for you. And so it’s just having the tools, the tools to manage your mindset and your emotions in such a way that you can create your most ideal life.
Jennie Dildine 6:38 Yeah, that’s a great way to say it. And I 100% agree. Jody, and I go back a little ways. I always I’ve told this story 100 times that when my oldest son left on his mission, and my youngest daughter started kindergarten, I just was like, who am I? What? Like, what,
Jody Moore 7:01 what even is how a lot of change I want? Yeah. Who am I?
Jennie Dildine 7:05 What? What am I supposed to do next with my life? And my I was crying in the bathroom one morning, and my husband said, Well, maybe you need a life coach.
Jody Moore 7:14 I love your husband so much. I love that he said that.
Jennie Dildine 7:19 That’s right when I went ahead, and I searched podcasts and found you and and it just changed my life within moments. The words you were saying, schools and and all of that.
Jody Moore 7:32 It really is life changing. And it’s one of those things that like, is a luxury in some ways. Like you don’t you can go your whole life without a life coach and still have a great life. But it’s one of those things that once you discover is available, it’s like you want to tell everyone No, you have to try this, it’s like Life can be so much better, you can be so much happier, you can be so much more confident. All of it can be so much easier. And so anyway, yeah, it’s been really fun knowing you over the years, just getting to know you and, and Jenny also teach us some classes, sometimes investment coaching in my business. And so it’s so fun. I just love getting to work with you. Yeah,
Jennie Dildine 8:15 I love it. So one of the things that I have admired most about Jody, as I’ve kind of observed her over the years is just her ability to see something that she wants in the future, set a goal and then just make it happen. And and one of the things that I’ve noticed is how you just have this way of making it really easy and fun. And I think that’s one of your mantras, right is like this is going to be fun. It’s like one of your core values. It’s one of the business core value
Jody Moore 8:47 one of the values in our business. Yes, I’m laughing a little bit only because I’m so glad it looks that way on the outside that I just set a goal and then I just go make it happen and it’s just easy and fun. It doesn’t feel that way from where I’m sitting. But yes, that is one of our values in our business and only because I really lived by that model when I was first building this business I think that trying to come from that place is a big reason why I was so successful and now that I have a small team I want them to try to be living from that same place. So I’ll tell you where it came from. I don’t know if you’ve heard this story before Jenny but so I used to work in corporate right like I said and incorporate we would like work and then we would pause work and go like do a scavenger hunt or some kind of like leadership meeting and trust falls and are sometimes just like go bowling or so are they take us out on the booze cruise everyone would get drunk and dance. I would just get over one damn thing, but like we were, there was work. And then there was fun. And they were separate. And not that work was like I worked with some great people and we goofed off and stuff. But work was work, right. And then there was the fun. And it wasn’t until I worked for Brooke Castillo, who you and I both studied under as we became life coaches. I started before I actually even was a coach, I started working for Brooke Castillo doing some some sales for her. And her business was small. And as a coach, she just was much more conscious of the way she was thinking about and running everything. And she kept saying to me, we’re not doing this if we can’t have fun, like talking about our job and the work we were doing, and I was like, What are you talking about? Like, there’s just a lot of work that needs to get done. That isn’t fun. Like in a sales job, for example, you’re reaching out to a lot of people, you’re maybe you’re doing cold calls, maybe you’re replying to emails, and you’re trying to, like, it’s not a lot of it’s not fun, right? And she was like, I was looking at her like, she’s crazy. She’s looking at me, like I was crazy. Like, what do you mean, it’s not fun, like we could, we can do anything we want to, again, I’d come from this giant company where you couldn’t do anything without running it through compliance and legal and like five layers of leadership had to like you weren’t going to make a change within less than six months time. Right? So with rooks tiny little nimble business, she was like, she would just change your mind on the regular from week to week, she’d be like, Okay, I’m not teaching the program that way anymore. We’re going to do a totally different I was like, but I’m, I’ve been talking to all these potential customers. And she’s, and they think it’s that way, she’s like, well, it’s not, we’re changing it. So just watching her operate from that energy of, we’re going to do it in a way that feels the most fun to us. And we can change it anytime we need to, to make it more fun for us and for our clients. And for everybody involved, was kind of awesome. But then we started setting these big goals, right? She wanted me to achieve certain numbers in her business as a salesperson. And I would put all this pressure on myself, to hit it and get really emotional and overwhelmed. And she would go, why are you crying? I’m gonna go because I’m just not going to hit it. And I really want to, and I’m so sorry. And she go, you do not look like you’re having fun right now. In one she taught me like the only reason to hit the goals, because wouldn’t it kind of be cool? Wouldn’t it be fun to speak out to see what we’re possible what we’re capable of, but not because we’re going to use a goal to beat ourselves up or create pressure or heaviness. I just was like, that is so much better. And of course, we achieved so much more from that energy. And so that doesn’t mean it’s always easy, or always fun. But I try to bring that with me. Like, the reason why has to be just because we could because wouldn’t it be cool to see what we could do on wouldn’t it be fun, but if we don’t. So what we’re making all this up making up these goals as we go or making up? This is all just made up? So that was kind of a long answer. But I love it.
Jennie Dildine 13:19 I was gonna I was planning to ask you about that story. Because it’s one that has kind of like stuck out with me over the years that I’ve kind of watched you, as Brooke had asked you to set like this crazy goal. And, and then she’s like, well, if it’s not fun, we’re not doing it.
Jody Moore 13:35 Yeah. And I was just like, what, because again, coming from corporate it was like, this is your number you need to hit this okay, you’re not going to hit it. What are we going to do about that? And just like, lots of heaviness. And yeah, that’s been just really powerful for me to notice that you literally like goals, we just make them up somebody makes them up, even if you’re working for a big company. They made them up. Some are on your mission. Maybe your mission president’s gonna give you goals or whatever. And I’m not saying don’t, don’t strive for your goals. Don’t try to hit your goals. I’m saying what is the reason why in in when we put tons of pressure and heaviness on ourselves? That does not make us more likely to hit the goal. It feels like it will. It feels like if I don’t take this seriously enough, then I’m not going to really focus but it that’s called using your willpower right and self discipline to get yourself to do something and I’m all for that. I just know that only lasts so long. We only have so much willpower we only have so much self discipline before we get tired and it may not even work we might be able to get ourselves to what are what are the missionaries doing nowadays? Are they still knocking on doors? So not as
Jennie Dildine 14:52 much knocking on doors as like just you know street contacting or? Yeah, yeah, have a goal. To get a certain number of people to church, or even like Facebook finding and stuff like that, for sure. And
Jody Moore 15:06 also you might be able to get yourself to go, go talk to some people, invite some people to church, like, get on, right, do all those things. And that may or may not get you the result of finding people who want to come unto Christ and learn about the gospel. And when we then use that goal to berate ourselves. Right, then that is not the purpose of the goal. I think we’re doing it wrong in that case, like, Wouldn’t it be cool to find people who want to hear this message? Wouldn’t it be cool and fun to teach people who want to learn? Yes, great. But not because you’re going to be more loved by God, or a better missionary or more worthy of something that we’ve made up in our heads goals are to give us something to reach for something to jump for something to shoot for. But most people take those goals and then use them against themselves if they don’t hit them. And then we stop wanting to set goals, or at least stop wanting to set big goals in the air.
Jennie Dildine 16:05 Yeah, for sure. So that’s one of the things I was going to mention is that there is this tendency on the mission, right to take everything just so seriously. It’s sort of like this idea that people’s salvation is at stake here. Right, right. Yeah. All the people. And so, like, what, what kind of tips or tools do you have to sort of get your head in more of that, like headspace where, okay, this is going to be fun. It matters. But it doesn’t need to mean anything about us. Do you have any kind of ideas about this?
Jody Moore 16:39 Yeah, this is an area that I call I’m recently starting to call positive thought problems. Because we have these thoughts that sound really good. Like, I want that people’s eternal salvation is on the line. This is important. Right? It sounds like I don’t know if you’d call that a positive thought. But it certainly sounds like a very righteous thought, right? I see this, you and I see this. When you’re coaching and my business with the moms, I just want to be a good mom. Right? Sounds like such a great thought. I was just talking to someone who has an exchange student, she’s like, I just want he’s gonna go home in a few weeks, I just want it to end well. He’s all sound like really positive thoughts, right? They can be really problematic, when what they are is, again, either a resistance of reality, or an unrealistic expectation about things that are outside of our control, or even our own level of perfection. And that’s what I see happen, right? So to just recognize, okay, that’s just a thought you and I, as coaches are constantly like, it’s just a thought. Now, when we say it’s just a thought we don’t mean, so dismiss it, it doesn’t matter, we’re stop thinking it or or that it’s not true. We’re not saying any of that. What we’re saying is, it’s not a fact it’s not like, and this gets tricky, right with the gospel. Because when we say people’s eternal salvation is on the line, I don’t mean that that’s not true. I do believe that I believe that bringing people under Christ will, will serve them really well now and in the eternities. Right. But what it sort of implies is like, if I as a missionary can’t get them to get to commit to baptism or something, then they’re, they’re damned. You know what I mean? Which is not true. Like they might have to hear the gospel from 10 sets of, of missionaries before they ever joined the church, or maybe, maybe they hear it, and then they join the church in the next light, like, that’s the part that I mean, like people’s eternal salvation on the line, such a pressure filled thought. And where I, again with with missionaries would suggest to them is that is also not a completely faith filled thought. In other words, I want to put my faith in, in the Lord and in the spirit. Like, that’s what’s going to do the heavy work here. All I’m supposed to do is try I’m just supposed to go out there and try talking to people and be available and be open and see who wants to learn more. But I’m actually not responsible for anybody’s eternal salvation. Do you see what I’m saying? It’s like, yeah, yeah.
Jennie Dildine 19:39 I love that and, and what that kind of does when we think about it that way, because I talk to a lot of missionaries too, who think that they need to be able to like teach the perfect lesson, or they need to bring the spirit in a specific way or in order to reach these goals and help people In their salvation, it kind of lets all of that go, one of my favorite thoughts that I adopted from you actually is like, this isn’t even about me. Yes, it’s about the Lord. It’s about this person’s journey, you know, their life journey, it’s about the spirit, and just letting go
Jody Moore 20:19 of that. And those are, that’s another area where there’s a lot of common positive thought problems, right? Like, I just want to do a good job teaching this lesson sounds like such a positive thought, it creates pressure, it’s a terrible thought your thought going into teaching lesson should be, I’m just going to share what’s on my heart, and it might come out great, and it might not. Right, that’s alright. Um, I, when I speak at events, everybody’s always like, God more, she’s never nervous, because she does this all the time, because everybody gets nervous, and it’s fine to get nervous right away, but I just don’t really, and they’re like, that’s because they think it’s because I do it a lot or something. It’s not because of that. It’s because I don’t think I just really want to do a good job. I think I’m just gonna go out there and do whatever job I’ve prepared. I’ve put in time, but it might go great, and it might not. And that’s okay. I’m willing, like, for me the thought I willing to embarrass myself and do a not great job and mess it up, let’s go actually brings me a lot of peace. That’s why I don’t get nervous. Because they don’t have that thought. I just really want to do a good job. Right?
Jennie Dildine 21:31 And ultimately, it’s them anyway, right? That decide what they do with what you’ve said,
Jody Moore 21:37 no matter what I do, some people are gonna love it and listen to it. And a lot of people are not going to listen, or they’re going to be like, I don’t agree with it. Like, I’m not creating their result. So, again, I like to put faith in the Lord. Or sometimes like just the mystical forces of the universe to go, like, I’m just going to do the job I do. And it’s going to be the job I’m meant to do. And let’s just see what happens from there. But it’s not all up to me. I’m not in control of everybody’s opinions, and all of that. So I just heard a story. A woman told about going, she went to some big conference, and Simon Sinek was the keynote speaker, and he’s pretty well known in the leadership space. And so there were like, 5000 people there. And everyone couldn’t wait to hear Simon Sinek case a big deal, right? And she said, he got up there. And he was speaking for about 10 minutes or so. And he was totally on fire. And then all of a sudden, he just paused. And he went over to the podium. And he was like shuffling papers a little bit. And everybody was like, oh, what’s happening? And he just all of a sudden, after a minute or so that she said felt like forever. He said, You know what, I just completely lost my place. I lost focus. And I’m totally off track. And I apologize. But I do want to say and she said all of a sudden everyone was like so uncomfortable. And like the poor guy. And then she said it was such a gift. Because then he said, I’ve never felt more alive than I feel right now. My heart is beating. And I feel my face flushing. And I’m just having all these emotions. And I just want to acknowledge for a moment how good it feels to be this alive. And everybody just like cheer, like started clapping. And then he got back on track and delivered an amazing talk. But like, it doesn’t matter. Like that experience. This woman this happened like five years ago. And I guarantee she remembers that more than some of the speakers that totally just were perfectly went through their whole talk. Like that vulnerability, and that humaneness is what we respond to. And as a missionary, you’re trying to invite the spirit, you’re trying to help people feel more of their humaneness and their connection to the divine. And I think that thinking I want to do a great job in this lesson is missing. Sometimes the point of like, I just want this person to feel loved by God, that might come from you messing it all up.
Jennie Dildine 24:07 Right because then they see your humaneness and yes, hey, to be human and have feeling and 100% I love that so much. So when it feels uncomfy how do we like how is that fun? Like how, like, how do we like wrap our heads around like that sometimes it is going to feel really uncomfortable when we’re going after something we want, or even, like, let’s say even like post mission. We know we want to get married, let’s say as a goal. And maybe we don’t even believe that’s possible or we want a baptism or whatever that goal is. How do we how do we believe in ourselves enough to just even like take that first step and the negative emotion that’s kind of always associated with just like, Oh, I’m going for it,
Jody Moore 25:04 huh? Yeah, it’s such a good question. I mean, the whole like, this is going to be fun is not a rule. It doesn’t mean everything has to be fun, you should be having fun right now. I don’t take it as a rule, I just take it as like permission to let it be fun when I can, and to look for ways to make it more fun. But that does not mean like I said in the beginning that it is always fun, or that I’m always even able to when I want to get there. You know, I will say, again, I was 30. By the time I got married, which is actually still very young, but in Mormon culture, it felt gold to me. Yeah. And I, I do remember, feeling really lonely. It feels really kind of uncertain, right? Like, am I ever gonna meet anyone? What is my life gonna be? I think you have to definitely allow yourself all the emotions that come up and allow yourself the human experience. But here’s what I love about the future is that it is unknown, which can be scary. But it also can be an amazing thing. Because it means you’re allowed to believe whatever you want. Like you really are allowed to think about the future in any way you want. And I’m not talking about like, just, you know, trying to fool yourself into believing something you don’t believe at all. But what do you think about that’s going to create your current experience? Because our thoughts create our feelings, right? So what I’m imagining or thinking about the future, is creating my current reality. And so I should choose it more carefully. So here’s what I mean. If I really want to get married, and that’s not happening, and my brain starts sifting through, like, Is this ever going to happen and when and whatever that feels uncertain, and scary, but I could just go, of course, I’m gonna get married to an amazing person. And we’re going to have a very happy life. And you could just, you’re allowed to just believe that even if you’ve never been on a single date, you’re allowed to believe that. And the better you get at believing things that you want to believe that serve you. Even if you don’t have a lot of proof, even if everybody around you doesn’t believe them, the more amazing your life can become. Because our brains just want to make our thoughts true. That’s your brain’s job to find evidence for and to, in any way you can contribute to and prove that your thoughts and beliefs are true. That’s what our brains do. So if you can just take on, and sometimes if it’s, if it’s a story like that, that I’m like, I don’t have a lot of evidence for or maybe I think other people are gonna think that I’m being unrealistic, I just keep it to myself, I just have a little private relationship with that story. Or maybe I tell one or two really close friends, but I don’t put it out there to anyone that’s going to make it hard for me to believe in and have other people taint it. And just keep it kind of close to my heart. And so that’s what I would say is like, whatever stage of life you’re in, whether you’re on you’re serving a mission, you’re going to serve a mission, you’re home from your mission, try to figure out what’s next. Like, be loose and flexible about the details, in terms of exactly how it’s gonna look. And when and all of that I’m not talking about that I’m just talking about, just believe that your life is going to be full of all the things you want connection, love family, if you want that friendships, success in your career, you’re allowed to believe that you’re going to have all of that. And in amazing ways you will create that in the spirit, of course, plays a role in that as well.
Jennie Dildine 28:55 I love that so much. That is it’s like kind of what we talk about with future focus. Like if you go to that future person, like if we were to use you as an example. Did you always know that you wanted to write a book?
Jody Moore 29:08 No, no.
Jennie Dildine 29:10 I mean, aside that you were going to write a book and that that was going to be wanted to accomplish.
Jody Moore 29:16 So I wanted to speak at timeout for women. Well, that’s right. That’s right. That’s how it started. Right. I went to timeout for when I just gotten certified as a coach, I want to say, when I first went a friend of mine invited me to go and then I was like, that was awesome. I want to speak at that event, which is bizarre, who wants to give a talk only. But anyway, a lot of event was put on by desert book. So I emailed desert book, like hey, how do I become a speaker at timeout for women? Is there an application process and they replied and said you have to be a published author or musician or something through desert book that we have a product to sell at the event? And so I was like, Oh, I guess I’m gonna have to write a book one day, I guess, but not right now. So for me the future that it wasn’t so much about, like, I want to have a book, but it was I want to speak at timeout for women. And it took me a good eight years, nine years to achieve that goal. But I have been speaking there this year. And it’s been awesome. And I just kept on believing it, even though I didn’t know how I didn’t know when, like, it was pretty. Now it doesn’t seem that unrealistic for me to speak there. But it was when I first decided it. And then that’s what I mean by how it happened in a way I never would have expected, it actually didn’t even exactly happen through my book. Which is a whole nother story. But it just, like, things line up when you have these good righteous desires. And you allow yourself to keep that relationship with them, even when you can’t see how it’s possible.
Jennie Dildine 30:58 Yeah, cuz I would guess I know, one of the stories specifically about your book where there was, you know, and speaking at timeout for women, when there was like, it just felt like it would never happen.
Jody Moore 31:09 Yeah, yeah, I did, because I was going to publish this book with Deseret, and then it ended up not being a good fit for them. And that was heartbreaking. And, and I was, but I was like, I’m still no, I’m going to speak at timeout for women. I wonder how. And then the next year, they reached out to me, and asked me to do a course with them. And they said, as part of this course, we’d love to have you speak at timeout for women to promote this new brand. So it just, again, it often is like that where it happens not in the way you would have expected. Certainly not usually ever on the timeline I have in mind, everything seems to take longer than what I wish it did. But But that’s what’s so cool about just believing and you know, the scriptures are full of examples of this of like, I was thinking about Nephi being commanded to build a ship. And he doesn’t have YouTube or Google or, or Home Depot, or like, can you imagine? I guess we’re gonna build a ship. And that’s such a ridiculous impossible goal. It’s not a SMART goal. It’s not specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, it’s, it’s none of those, it was none of those things, it was a ridiculous goal. He’s like, Well, I don’t know how but somehow we’re gonna battleship. And that happens over and over. It happened with Joseph Smith restoring the church, it happens over and over again that, like, you have to choose to believe in something ridiculously impossible, maybe to the whole world is impossible, maybe it just feels impossible to you because you’ve never done it. But that’s what faith is. Faith is believing in something that you cannot prove. And yes, that applies to things of an eternal spiritual nature. But that can apply in your own life, you can have faith that you will be able to achieve what you desire, because I believe our desires are God given and and. And so if you desire it, you can achieve it. You just have to choose to believe that it’s possible and then go go get it.
Jennie Dildine 33:13 Yeah, it reminds me a little bit of like, a missionary who’s starting a mission. I hear a lot like how am I ever gonna do that? How am I ever going to be good enough? How, you know, how am I going to teach, I’m not good with people all of those thoughts. And instead just choosing something super intentional. Like, I’m going to be an amazing missionary, I’m going to be
Jody Moore 33:34 Yeah, like, picture yourself. For those of you who are just starting a mission or getting ready to, I would encourage you to try this exercise. This is what I do. Whenever I plan like an event, or a new class or something, is I always picture the end, I picture how I’m going to feel. And maybe what if there’s anything else that’s going to be different about me, like picture yourself coming home from your mission, feeling like probably tired. And whatever else might be part of that picture, but also like, sort of like transformed and proud of yourself and connected to these people whose lives you’ve impacted. Picture that and picture whatever you want. Maybe you want a picture that like you brought so many people to the Gospel, okay, like picture whatever you want. And then access those emotions and then come back to reality and try to live from those emotions today. And it’s not always easy to do but that is the way like however you think you’re going to feel at the end of a goal is the feeling you need to have as you’re pursuing the goal as much of the time as possible. That’s why the fun thing comes in. Because once we achieve a goal once we get to the top of the mountain and we’re looking at the view, we’re like, Well, this is fun. Right? But Can you have fun along the way, if fun is the thing, I just like the word fun because I like to goof off and have fun. But it might might not be fun. It might be like, fulfilled, it might be close to God, it might be proud of yourself grateful to yourself, like whatever the emotion is you think you’re going to feel at the end? That’s the emotion you need to have driving you as you take the steps. And I’ll tell you what, if you can, if you think you’re going to be really fulfilled at the end of your mission, then okay, how do I be fulfilled today, going out in the parking lot trying to talk to some people and find someone who wants to hear what we have to say, well, maybe I get myself a goal. Like let’s go talk to let’s find 15 people to talk to you today. Yeah. And maybe 14 of them turned us down. Or maybe all 15 of us turned us down. Okay, but can I go? thanks me for doing what I said I was going to do which is walking up to 15 people Ballmer that none of them wanted to talk to me. But I’m so glad I did what I said I was going to do and we’re going to set a new goal tomorrow. That’s how you achieve fulfillment as you go, you create it for yourself like that.
Jennie Dildine 36:09 Yeah. And I even think like at the end of an experience like that, you could even if 14 People said, like, hey, thanks. But no thanks, being like, that was so fun. Like, right? We had the opportunity to do that, that we got to interact with these people. How did you because inevitably, when we’re like setting goals on the mission, or after the mission, or career, whatever it is, inevitably we’re gonna run into roadblocks. That where things don’t like what we would, quote unquote, is a failure. And then what I see tend to happen with missionaries right is then it means something about me that I’ve done something wrong, or that I’m not good enough. I think of the story about you. When you had to apply to get into BYU and didn’t get into BYU, and how, you know, that experience that you had, when things don’t go like we’re reaching for a goal and things don’t quite work out? How do you? What do you tell yourself? What are some thoughts?
Jody Moore 37:17 Yeah, well, first of all, it’s okay to feel disappointed or whatever, you got to definitely allow yourself a human experience. I just want to be clear, Jenny, and I aren’t saying that you should be a robot and not affected by anything like there is sadness and disappointment or hurt or anger or whatever that you’re going to experience along the way. When in a lot of times when we hit these red lights or roadblocks, that’s when it comes up. So there’s that, but this is why I don’t like people to need to know about how to believe in the goal. Because this is what a lot of people do. They’re like, well, how’s it going to work? Right? How am I going to achieve how have other people done it? And then they put their faith in the how accept them the how doesn’t work at some point, always. And now our beliefs gone? Right? Yeah. So if you just are like, I’m gonna choose to believe this, and I’m not sure how, but I’m going to take a guess i Then I still might ask people for advice. But I’m going to stay open to the idea that maybe that’s going to be the way for me, and maybe not, then when you hit that roadblock, it’s not as dramatic, you don’t have to make it mean that you should that you’re never going to succeed. You just go Oh, I thought that was going to be the way but I guess not, I guess there’s a better way. I guess there’s a different way that I’m gonna go. And that is the other analogy I like to use with this one is it’s sort of like, if I’m gonna go to the store and get milk. Then I drive the way I normally drive. But every now and then there, I run into something I wasn’t expecting, like road construction. Right? But we’re not like, oh my gosh, we’re gonna get to the store now. How am I ever gonna get? I’m a terrible person. Right? We’re just like, oh, that’s kind of annoying. I guess I’m gonna have to find an alternate route. And it’s gonna take me a little longer, but I’ll just go a different way. And eventually I’ll get to the store and get that milk. And so if you can think of your goals that way. That’s where like you’re saying, like, takes all the pressure off and like, Okay, I thought the timeline was going to be this, but I guess it’s gonna take longer for me. All right, and loosen up a little bit and trust that this is where again, like, the Lord knows what he’s doing. And he has a plan for all of us. And I don’t mean that he controls every aspect of our lives, but like, he’s gonna take care of us and maybe it was never meant to be it was never meant to achieve that goal in that Wait, you’re on that timeline, or that wasn’t the person I was supposed to marry or whatever, like, there’s a plan. And his is better than mine, which is hard to remember. But not just like, it’s okay. But like, there’s something better. I’ll tell you this is life changing. Like, I don’t know if you’ve had this experience, but sometimes I’ll record a podcast and then get done and realize, oops, that mic wasn’t plugged in all the way or something goes wrong, right. And you have to rerecord the whole thing. And I just go, oh, I guess that version was never meant to go out into the world. But I’m gonna do it again. It’s gonna, it’s going to be slightly different because I don’t read my podcast. So it’s gonna sound a little different. Yeah, but that version was never meant to go out. Alright, let’s do it again. You know, like, It’s better.
Jennie Dildine 40:49 It’s better, better this time. Yes, that’s so good. That’s such a good thing to remember. I have one more kind of question for you. And then I want you to tell us all of the amazing things that you’ve been up to. And although people can find you. One of the big things I see, right, so we’ve got these goals that we’re working towards, and whether it’s marriage, or whether it’s just to serve a mission at all, or whether to get this certain number of baptisms, or contacts, or whatever is going on press whatever stage of the mission experience that we’re in. One of the big things, especially in an environment where there’s a peak, a lot of people like you, everybody, everybody’s wearing a white shirt and a tie, and everybody’s wearing a nametag is comparison. And so this idea that we start to tend to, I think, for young adults put ourselves sort of in this hierarchy of like, this would be better, or if I had this, and then we get into this comparison, mindset. Yeah. So tell us how to keep those, like, is it just like a blinders thing? Like, we just got to stay in our own lane? Or what what do you recommend for comparison, when we’re working towards these things that feel really important to us? And then we see someone else getting it?
Jody Moore 42:11 Yeah, and again, that’s a natural human tendency. And I think it’s fascinating. There’s some research that shows that, like you said, we do the more similar we are to someone, the more we compare ourselves. Like, like, notice, I’m not comparing you and I aren’t comparing ourselves to the Queen of England. Right? Or I guess she died, nevermind, the king and queen now of England, or like Princess Kate. Right? Yeah, we’re not comparing ourselves to her because we can’t even relate to her life. We’re not, we can’t even wrap our heads around, like what it would be like to be British royalty, and like, the life she’s living is so different from our lives, that we don’t even really compare ourselves. But what who we do compare ourselves to our friends at church, and like you said, especially on a mission, we’re all dressed the same and everything, that’s a natural tendency for the brain, then to go into comparison mode. So just I say that because you first you have to be compassionate with yourself. Like, of course, my brain is doing that it’s just normal human behavior. But also don’t indulge it and let it like, get away from you and create problems in your life. Because the truth is, you know, they always say, it’s like comparing apples to bananas, right? If you’re comparing two different things, you’re all you are different from the other people around you. Always, no, two of us are alike. We don’t have all the same DNA, we don’t have the same life experiences, we don’t have the same, like, we are way more different. And we’re similar. But it’s not apples to apples ever. So it’s not even like a useful thing to do in many ways. I will say though, I don’t know if you’re, if you would call this blinders putting blinders on. But I try to just come back into my own world. And what I like to do when I noticed my brain wanting to compare myself to others is I’m like, rather than like, look at all of them. Let’s look at me, I don’t even like to use the word comparison. But I like to go let’s, let’s look at and think about past Jodi, and future Jodi, and let’s just have relationship with them rather than me and Jenny, for example. Like I have a relationship with you, but if it’s a comparison thing, right? So I’m like past me was not as good at some things that I’m good at today. Like I’ve improved in many ways, but also, maybe she was stronger in some ways than I am today. Like it’s just we’re different past me is different than present me and future me is going to be different than present me. And so I again, I don’t like the word comparison because it implies judgment, right? And I don’t like to be like I’m better today than I was five years ago, because in some ways I am. But in some ways, I’m also like, I’ve gained some weight from how it was five years ago, and I’m a little bit my brain works slower and my eyes don’t work as well. And like, I don’t like to compare. I just like to be like, I love and appreciate past me. I love and appreciate currently, and I love and appreciate future me enough to think about her when I make decisions. And that for me, maybe that maybe that’s called putting blinders on. But it’s like coming back to what I do have control over which is me and my world and the things I’m focusing on, rather than other people.
Jennie Dildine 45:53 Yeah, totally. And just like, what I think about with that with the past me and the future me is like, we need all of them. Yeah, present me.
Jody Moore 46:03 Like, there’s no way and they all exist. But when we want, we need to have a good relationship with all of them. I’m not going to be mad at past me for like, some of the choices she made though. I’m like, That was dumb. Why did you do that? But I’m like, I get why you did that. You were struggling. You were whatever. It’s okay. I love you. Yeah. And now I can think about future me and like, I’m gonna take care of you don’t worry, I’m hooking you up. And other times, I’m like, sorry, you’re gonna have to deal with the effects of I’m eating this Snickers bar right now. And future me, you’re gonna I’m sorry. I’m just apologizing in advance. But like, when you have a healthy relationship with those two parts of yourself, it becomes easier to be who you want to be today. Because you of course are always present. You Right? Right. That’s the, that’s the trick. So
Jennie Dildine 46:51 hey, is there anything that you want to say there’s missionaries all over the world listening to this podcast on the Google Drive, and you want to say to the missionaries, before we dive into all of your amazing stuff that you have?
Jody Moore 47:08 Um, I think what I would want to say to missionaries is that, first of all, thank you for the work that you’re doing it because it’s a huge sacrifice, like no other religion does this. And it’s just amazingly incredible that, that you’re doing what you’re doing. So I hope that you are really proud of yourself and grateful to yourself and acknowledging that no matter what’s going on, whether you’re feeling great or you’re struggling, or you’re finding people to teach or you’re not, it doesn’t matter, like you being willing to do it is amazing. So I hope that you acknowledge that and yourself. And then I think that I highly underestimated until I got a lot older, how important it is that I work on loving myself. And that sounds odd, it sounds selfish. But it’s the opposite of that. Because if you don’t love yourself, you’re not able to fully love and serve people around you. And you’re going to need other people to validate you. And you’re going to be afraid of people judging you and rejecting. And there’s just so many side effects to insecurity, which we all will have insecure, I still have a lot of insecurity. But I also know how to love myself. And I would just say to prioritize that in your life of recognizing your value and just appreciating yourself. I want to give you permission to and encourage you to work on that. Especially as you’re young. Because, like confidence is you can do so much good in the world. From confidence. You can love your spouse better, you’ll be a better parent, you’ll be more successful at all of your goals, you’ll be better at your missionary work from self love when you already fill yourself up. Like you know the analogy they use of the buckets. Like I give you a compliment Jenny and I put drops in your bucket. And then you do something nice for me and it puts drops in my bucket. So now I want to sell my kids No, that’s all wrong. Your job is to fill your own bucket. I just brush my teeth in the morning and I look in the mirror and I go hey Jody, how you doing today? It’s gonna be a good day today or brace yourself. We got a lot going on today or thanks for what you did yesterday. Good job or hey, you had arrived. What happened yesterday. Like I just talked to myself the way I would to anybody else that I care about for just a moment in that relationship with myself means that now I can go out in the world and do the work I want to do and not be seeking a bunch of validation and whatever and if I get it I love it. I love a compliment. But it’s just like a few extra drops on my already full bucket. So I love it. I would say
Jennie Dildine 49:57 they need to hear that. That’s that’s Oh, good. Thank you for sharing that. Okay, so all of your amazingness Jodi’s amazingness, or book, what else? All that? Yeah,
Jody Moore 50:10 so better than happy is my podcast and my book. And so I would say, if you, if you are, well, my book is on Audible, or you can read it. And it’s got a lot of doctrine, it kind of connects the dots on principles of the church, and how these tools of mental and emotional health can play a role in helping you live those principles. So that’s a good one, and then the podcast better than happy if you like podcasts. And yeah, go check it all out.
Jennie Dildine 50:45 Yes, thank you so much for being here. We’ll put links for all your goodies in our notes. But yeah, I just love you. Thank you so
Jody Moore 50:54 much, Jenny. Thanks for having me. So fun to talk to you your
Jennie Dildine 50:58 inspiration in my life and for all of your wisdom. Thanks, girl. love you love you. Serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints can present a unique set of challenges, and many of those challenges you might not even see coming. So you’re gonna want a unique set of solutions. It’s easier than you think to overcome worry and anxiety, serve the successful mission you’ve always dreamed of and navigate your post mission experience with confidence. That is why I created some amazing free goodies that I’m sharing in my show notes. Maybe you’ll want to grab the free training for preparing missionaries, my video course for RMS or maybe you and I should hop on a free strategy call. If you’re ready to take your preparedness to serve or your preparedness to come home to the next level. Then go grab one of those freebies. And in the meantime, no matter which part of the mission experience you are involved in. Just know that Jenny, the LDS mission coach is thinking about you every single day.