105. When Two Worlds Collide

This episode discusses the concept of “when two worlds collide”, referring to brief interactions between people where their lives intersect. Jennie uses the metaphor of two lines on a graph that meet at a single point to illustrate this.

She argues that in those moments of intersection, we should:

  • Refrain from making that moment a “sticking point” that alters our course. Others’ behavior is influenced by their whole life up to that point, so it likely has little to do with us. Making it a “sticking point” risks judging them unfairly.
  • Avoid judging others based on that brief interaction. We don’t know their full story and life experiences that shaped them. Judging them is unlikely to be accurate or fair given our limited perspective.

This applies not just to others, but to ourselves as well. When we don’t act as we’d like, we shouldn’t make it a moment that defines us. We should show ourselves compassion, as our behavior is also shaped by our past experiences.

In moments of intersection, it’s key to not judge but rather show love, grace, and compassion to others and ourselves. Brief interactions should not become defining for us or for others. Giving grace allows us to move past those moments without bitterness or self-condemnation.

Jennie encourages missionaries to apply this perspective with their companions and investigators. Rather than judging based on first impressions, missionaries should remember that others have lived full lives before their paths crossed. Showing grace and compassion will allow missionaries to build stronger relationships and have a more positive mission experience.

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0:00 Hey, everybody is Jennie Dildine, the LDS mission coach and you are listening to the LDS mission Podcast, episode number 105 When two worlds collide I’m Jennie the LDS mission coach. And whether you’re preparing to serve a mission, currently serving a returned missionary or a missionary mama like me, I created this podcast just for you. Are you searching for epic confidence? Ready to love yourself and to learn the how of doing hard things? Then let’s go. I will help you step powerfully into your potential and never question your purpose. Again. It’s time to embrace yourself, embrace your mission, embrace your life, and embrace what’s next. Hey, everybody, welcome to the podcast. I’m so happy you’re here. Because if you’re here, that means that you are interested in up leveling the mental and emotional health of our missionaries, both preparing currently serving and also our returned missionaries. I wish I could share with you the number of strategy calls that I’ve had over the last four years of missionaries who are just struggling or parents who are trying to help their missionaries who are just really struggling. And I really believe that if we can get some mental and emotional tools out to more of these missionaries, before they leave, that it can be completely transformational for the mission experience. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know it’s supposed to be hard out there. I know that the only way to learn stuff, right is to kind of go through the heart. I talked about that on the last podcast, my thriving podcast. But it doesn’t have to be a cause for suffering. It doesn’t have to be the mission doesn’t have to be a reason that we’re just like completely taken out, or completely lose our identity or self worth. And I think that the answer to that is mental and emotional tools and strategies that you can take with you on the mission. That is why I’m so excited, I have some really, really fun and cool stuff coming up this fall. And we are going to make my mental mission prep course bigger and better and more fleshed out. So that you can get more one on one help just because I feel like this is so important. So stay tuned for that it’s going to be amazing. And if you want to know when it’s coming, why don’t you just send an email to me, Jenny at Jennie dildine.com. And I can add you to my Tuesday tidbit weekly email, which is just so fun to write every week for you guys. And and I do get tons of feedback that it’s super helpful and has lots of good insights. And they’re meant to just keep your head in the right place. So that’s going to be an added bonus, that you just get those little hits of inspiration and tips and tools to your inbox. But the other bonus of being on that list is that you’re going to know when big stuff is coming. And there’s a lot of big stuff coming this fall. In fact, I’ve just been in the process of interviewing coaches to work for me so we can expand this work and grow it certified coaches but in the fall, so file this away somewhere, I’m also going to be hiring returned missionaries to be mentors to preparing missionaries. So that’s going to be really, really cool as well. If you’re interested in that, go ahead and also just shoot me an email and say, Hey, I’m super interested in getting on that list that you’re that I’m gonna reach out to once I’m ready to hire those returned missionary clients, I’ve already gotten so much response to all of this, which you know, I didn’t expect such a big response on the one hand, but on the other hand, I it makes sense, because I think you guys care about this as much as I do. And there’s a lot of people that want to help. And there’s a lot of people that want to make a difference for the mission experience. And that’s amazing. So thanks for being on this journey with me. today. I want to talk about when two worlds collide. And this is sort of a concept that I’ve been playing with in my mind for the last little while. And the image sometimes I think in images. And so I don’t know if you’re a visual person to it. But the image that I’ve had is, remember when you were in high school or college, and you would find an intersecting point on a graph. So there would be one line that you would solve for, and then you would solve for the other line. And then the answer to the whole equation, or the problem was that dot right where to the two lines intersected. And I’ve been thinking about this a lot that this is actually represents many, that tiny little dot represents many of the interactions that we have with other people, especially in the grand scheme of things. So those lines, usually, if I remember, right, and someone, another math major, or something can totally correct me. But I’m pretty sure that those lines have arrows on each end, both lines, which means that that line existed before it even came on to this graph. And that line is going to keep existing after it goes off of this graph. And that is the case for both of these two lines. So this little tiny.is, just a brief moment in time, where our world collides with someone else’s world. And maybe it’s just like, we have a quick conversation with someone at church. Or maybe, you know, one of our friends that’s interested in the Gospel, maybe we have a lesson with them. Or maybe we bumped into a roommate that we had long ago. Even I was thinking about this, even when we consider that these two lines that have arrows on each end. Even when you consider the amount of time you spend with a companion, which you know, usually it’s one transfer two, sometimes as many as three, that time is also relatively short, in comparison to how far each of those lines go in either direction. So the thing that’s interesting about this is, I think it’s super powerful to realize that the person that you’re interacting with, when your worlds collide, whether that’s your companion, someone you’re teaching someone you meet in a word you just got transferred to someone you just like met at the word party or at a word fhe or something like that, that they have lived a whole life up to that point. So they have been thinking, and feeling and experiencing and doing all kinds of things from the time they were little up until that very moment when your lives collide. And so there’s no way to sort of know what is going on for someone on the inside. Because it’s all based on their behavior, their their actions, their thoughts, is all based on the environment in which they have been living that line. So here’s a few amazing things that we can take from this, though, is number one. Don’t make that intersection point. When your two worlds collide, don’t make that a sticking point for you. And I can’t emphasize this enough, if I could just like shake every single one of you with your companion is just because your companion shows up a certain way. Don’t let that be a sticking point for you. Don’t let that one intersection, whether it’s six weeks, or 12 weeks or 18 weeks, don’t let that one little intersection change the course of your line. What’s true is because the other person’s line has been extending way before you even met up on that graph. Is that that interaction, the way that your companion shows up in that moment has very little if anything to do with you. That’s actually true. Their own thoughts, feelings and behaviors and the actions that they’ve taken, taken and the experiences that they’ve had led them up to that point. And that little place where you two collide is about them.

9:54 And sometimes do we wish that we could change it? Do we wish that people would act differently? Do we wish they would talk differently do We wish that they would show up differently. And yes, like, I would wish that for all of you that you have amazing companions, and amazing people you’re dating and amazing roommates that just never bug you at all that never annoy you that never are mean or never a route. I mean, that would be amazing. But that’s not the facts of life. The facts are, that person has led a whole life a whole life until your paths have crossed. So don’t make other people’s behavior, a sticking point for you. The second thing is what I love about this concept is, then it means it’s not necessary to judge them. We really can’t see, let’s say we have a district leader that super, you know, always just like buy the book letter of the law, not as much spirit of the law only harp like harps on us and tells we’re not tells us we’re not doing a good job. If we’re not meeting our goals, okay, we don’t know anything about that district leaders past. Maybe that’s how they were treated by their parents. Maybe they had a grandpa, that really every time that district leader came over, that he would harp on him that he should be better, or something like that. So when someone isn’t showing up the way that we think they should, or even in a way that we just are like that’s wrong, maybe someone stands you up on a date, or whatever. Or maybe someone blatantly tells you that they think that you’re not awesome, whatever it is, even if even if they’re behaving in a way that we think is just wrong, we can be gentle with that person, we can allow them to be human, because they’ve been living a human experience, up until the moment that your paths crossed, we can totally accept the version of them when are at that point where our lines cross, when we can totally accept that they’ve lived a whole life up to that point. And we can accept that moment. Knowing that we didn’t get to be in charge of any of that. And maybe in some cases, they didn’t get to be in charge of that, either. So even when someone’s behavior, warrants otherwise, even if you can justify it, it’s always best to let go of assumptions. And to show up with love and compassion. Okay, so those are the two things don’t make that when your worlds collide, don’t make that a sticking point for you don’t make that alter your course. And we don’t need to judge that point of collision, that point of intersection, because we don’t know what their whole life has been like. Because in that moment where your journeys intersect, we don’t know what’s going on. And we could never know, even if they told us we could never fully understand what it has been like for them to be them and to live the life that they’d lived that they have lived up to this point. So the last thing I kind of want to point out about this is this applies not just to other people, but to yourself to Now, this might be a different graph. I didn’t think about this up until this very moment. So let’s play with it. But instead of like there’s a line going this way and a line this way and they intersect. Maybe there’s two lines like parallel lines right? And one is you now and one is you observing you like your past you or your future, you okay? And here’s the thing, this concept applies to you as well. So when you are not showing up in a way that you like, maybe you lose your temper, maybe you are feeling really discouraged that you didn’t meet a goal and you just tell yourself I should. I should be happy. I should be appreciative appreciative that I’m even here, whatever it is, maybe you you are The one that ghosted someone or stood someone up on a date. Okay, I want you to be able to apply these same two principles. Don’t make your own behavior, a stick a sticking point for you. Okay, you don’t need to make that mean something that something’s wrong with you that you’re the worst that you’re not a kind person that no one will ever want to date you that, whatever, that’s all just nonsense. What you can do is just observe it, observe that parallel line that’s running next to you and be like, Hmm, whoa, I didn’t, I didn’t expect that to go down like that, or I didn’t expect to be feeling that way or thinking that way. But that’s okay. So don’t make your own life, even a sticking point to where it changes your, your course. Okay. And then also, again, number two, it’s not necessary to judge your self. It’s just not even when your own behavior, justifiably warrants otherwise, even when you just are like, I don’t deserve anything better, because I was such a jerk in that instance, or because I was such a loser or because I failed so miserably or whatever. Just even if you don’t like your own behavior, you can let go of assumptions and show up with love and compassion, not just for other people. But for you, too. Because it’s true in that moment, you are also being informed by your past, much of which you had ownership and power over an agency over much of it, who didn’t. All of us are just a product of that little tiny arrow that goes on way before the graph even existed. Now, this is not to say that we can’t change our trajectory, if we want to change the slant of our line change the angle of our line. Of course, all of that was is also within our power and agency and influence. But when two worlds collide, or you observe yourself behaving in a way that you don’t necessarily love, just remember, don’t make it a sticking point. And it’s just not necessary to judge. always best to show up with love, to show up with compassion for others love and compassion for self. And just enjoy those little moments where we get to intersect where our two worlds collide. And just give so much grace to other people, to our companions, to our bus, to our roommate, and just give so much grace to ourselves. Because the outside story, never tells the whole inside story. And I just feel like that’s super, super good to realize. And to understand. Alright, everybody, I hope you have the most amazing week sending love to the missionaries in RMS all over the world, it literally is so true. I think about you guys every single day, take care. Serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints can present a unique set of challenges. And many of those challenges you might not even see coming. So you’re gonna want a unique set of solutions. It’s easier than you think to overcome worry and anxiety serve the successful mission you’ve always dreamed up and navigate your post mission experience with confidence. That is why I created some amazing free goodies that I’m sharing in my show notes. Maybe you’ll want to grab the free training for preparing missionaries, my video course for RMS or maybe you and I should hop on a free strategy call. If you’re ready to take your preparedness to serve or your preparedness to come home to the next level. Then go grab one of those freebies. And in the meantime, no matter which part of the mission experience you were involved in just now that Jenny the LDS mission coach is thinking about you every single day

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Hey! I'm Jennie - The LDS Mission Coach.

Preparing for, serving and coming home from an LDS Mission can present countless changes and transitions. I’ve seen these changes put missionaries at the mercy of their emotions and questioning their abilities. With the tools I teach, young adults empower themselves to navigate every moment of the mission experience with epic, unwavering confidence.

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