111. Peacemakers Needed

0:00 Hey, what’s up everyone? It’s Jennie Dildine, the LDS mission coach and you’re listening to the LDS mission Podcast, episode number 111. peacemakers need it. I’m Jennie the LDS mission coach. And whether you’re preparing to serve a mission, currently serving a returned missionary or a missionary mama like me, I created this podcast just for you. Are you searching for epic confidence? Ready to love yourself and to learn the how of doing hard things? Then let’s go. I will help you step powerfully into your potential and never question your purpose. Again. It’s time to embrace yourself. Embrace your mission, embrace your life, and embrace what’s next.

1:07 One of the things that’s actually been kind of nice for us this summer is that we don’t have a wedding. No, I know, weddings are really fun occasions. And I’m all for it. And in fact, my assistant is got married just a couple of weeks ago. But

1:28 I also have really enjoyed not having such so much to do this summer, we’ve really relaxed, we’ve taken a couple of trips to Utah. But everything’s been super chill, and fun and lots of open space on my calendar, which I love. So that has been awesome. I wanted to keep you guys in the know and feeling really excited about what’s coming this fall. I am working really extensively lately, on putting together a new and improved revamp of my mental mission prep program. I’ve been hiring coaches, and I’ve been training them and it’s gonna be incredible. And I think maybe it could possibly be one of the missing pieces that we’ve had from Mission preparation. And I’ve said for a long time that the missionaries that are going out right now are way more mentally prepared than we ever were, or I ever was at their age. But this mental and emotional piece has been lacking, I feel for quite some time. And I’m working really hard on getting something that is very consumable, very affordable to the masses. So that we can send out more of our missionaries, mentally and emotionally prepared. And I’m super excited about that. Because here’s why I love the work that I do is because it influences and impacts so many people, it’s there is such a ripple effect. So think about if your son or daughter, or if you’re a missionary, if you’re mentally and emotionally prepared, how that will affect your companion, how that will affect your district, how that will affect the culture of the mission in general, how then, when you come home, you probably won’t need more mental and emotional health when you get home because you already have these tools. And then on top of that, then the people that you interact with your roommates, your boss, you’re the person that you get married to, I’ve been getting quite a few wedding announcements from clients and things, which is really fun. But the impact of just changing yourself and getting your own mental and emotional tools before you leave on the mission is has such a huge ripple effect. Even picture the people that you’re teaching. If you can be mentally and emotionally like good for yourself, then you’re going to be good, and it’s going to be good for them. And it’s going to be good for everybody. So I’m super, super excited about that. If you are not on my email list, you’ll want to be because we’re going to be hiring some RM mentors this fall around beginning of September, as well as possibly bringing on some more coaches. So if you go to actually if you just want to shoot me an email Jennie at Jennie dildine.com, and say, hey, I want on the email list. I’ll just add you. That’s probably the easiest way and then we’ll make sure that you’re on there so you do not miss any of the amazing, exciting stuff coming up. Okay, so this podcast episode, peacemakers needed as you probably already know, and probably have already guessed is that this is based on President Nelson’s talk in April of 2023 peacemakers needed now I think it was a pretty good monumental talk. And I guess what I mean by monumental is that I think it hit home with a lot of us. And there’s a lot of people talking about it. There’s also a lot of podcasts, I think being recorded about it. And it just so happened that I was asked to teach this in Relief Society, this talk. And so I wanted to bring some of those ideas here, so that we could talk through some of them. I want to first tell you a story. So my son Ryan, he’s my third son, he graduated recently. And I had sort of been putting off getting his graduation cake. But I knew that I needed to do it, because I had gotten both of my other son’s graduation cakes, with a Mustang on it, and all the colors of our high school and whatnot. And we were also sort of having a family reunion that weekend since everyone was coming into town anyway. And so I was busy planning that, and I sort of had dropped the ball on getting a cake. Well, it was probably like, Wednesday, Tuesday or Wednesday, and I needed the cake by Saturday. And I said, Well, maybe I’ll just call and see. So I called the bakery. And I was like, Hey, I just am curious. I know it’s maybe a kind of a stretch. But is there any way that we could have a cake ready for Saturday? And the sweet girl on the phone? She said, Sure. I let me go check. Let me just double check that that’s doable. And she came back on the phone. And she said, yeah, we can totally do it as long as you make sure to pick it up after two o’clock. And in my mind, I was thinking, Yeah, that should work. We can pick it up at 2am. Thank you so much, because I knew that I had sort of waited too long. Well, so Saturday came around, and I went and I said, Hey, I’m here to pick up a cake under Jenny. And they said, Oh, we don’t have a cake for you. And I’m like, Oh, no. And so then they went and they did some research. And they got into their computer, and they said, Oh, we thought you were coming next Saturday. And I was like, Well, no graduations tomorrow. Wait, it wouldn’t have been tomorrow. But I must have picked it up on Friday because graduation was the next day. I said I need to pick it up. Anyway, long story short, they didn’t have my cake. And so I said to them, okay, well, I, I do really need it. And so they said, Well, we can we’ll put something together, we can throw something together for you what colors and they just pulled out a cake and they sort of decorated it on the spot. It took them about a half an hour, but I just waited happily and patiently. And then we have the cake. Well. One of the things I noticed as I was walking out of the bakery was there was a sign on the window that said cake makers needed. And so this analogy of making a cake has been on my mind as I prepared this lesson, and as I’ve been thinking about this piece makers needed, I want to be able to kind of use these as an analogy of each other. Like one of my favorite recipe places that I love to go to. And I don’t get any kickback for saying this. So her name is Mel’s kitchen cafe. I love her recipes. They’re very easy. They’re easy to follow. You can find her online, Mel’s kitchen cafe and her recipes always have a few spots. They have the ingredients, the instructions, how to bake it, how to serve it, you know, the recipe, and also has some notes also has how many can this recipe serve. And so I started thinking about this talk peacemakers needed in that same way. Now just my personality, I know that I have to have a full overview of the whole talk before I can dive in to kind of more specific areas and more specific teachings. And so that’s what I did is I broke down this talk into ingredients, instructions, how we bake, how we serve

9:32 and what we would need to know what notes we would need. And then also, how many does this recipe serve? So if we’re going to make peace, if we’re going to be peace makers, what do we need to know? Okay, so the first one I went through and I just kind of highlighted them and so if you wanted to do this too, you could totally code is take out your talk and find all of the ingredients. And so I went through the whole talk Ken found all the ingredients for peace making, just like we would cake making. And so some of those ingredients were civility. This is all in the talk, you’ll be able to find them. civility, decency, love, charity, long suffering, kindness, humility, respect, dignity, courage, wisdom, and of course, peace. Because how can you make more peace if you don’t have? Peace? So before we get any further, I want you to just sort of think for yourself, is there a group of people or someone that you interact with on a daily basis that you have a hard time getting along with? Or understanding? And then it’s interesting to notice, why is it hard to interact with them? Is there someone that really irritates you or gets under your skin? Or it’s just really hard to be around them? Maybe it’s a family member, maybe it’s a friend, maybe it’s mother in law, or your sister in law, or maybe it’s a companion, or maybe it’s your district leader, or maybe it’s your roommate. So just ask yourself, why is it hard to be around them? Okay, so we’re going to apply all of these ingredients to that. Now, the instructions were, up quote that I found from the talk and President Nelson says, The Saviors message is clear. His true disciples build, lift, and courage, persuade and inspire, no matter how difficult the situation. True disciples of Jesus Christ are peacemakers. And so to me, Oh, those are the instructions. We have to build, lift, encourage, persuade, and inspire. And then how do we bake this cake or this piece that we’re trying to create? And there was two quotes from the talk that I found? President Nelson said the temple can help us in our quest there we are endowed with God’s power. And he also said, in situations that are highly charged and filled with contention, I invite you to remember Jesus Christ, pray to have the courage and wisdom to say or do what he would. So to me, if we’re going to bake peace, or if we’re going to like bake it into our souls, let’s say that the temple and prayer are two really awesome places to do that. Now, how do we serve this and then I’m going to kind of dive into a couple things, discussion questions and things for you to think about this. So the quote I found for how to serve peace, if we’re going to be peace makers, just like if we were cake makers. It says if you are serious about helping together Israel and about building relationships that will last throughout the eternities. Now is the time to lay aside bitterness. Now is the time to cease insisting that it is your way or no way. Now is the time to stop doing things that make others walk on eggshells for fear of upsetting you. Now is the time to bury your weapons of war. If your verbal arsenal is filled with insults and accusations, now is the time to put them away, you will arise as a spiritually strong man or woman of Christ. And so to me, that is our instructions on how to serve up PCE just like if we were to serve a cake and it would to say, say like, cut it into 16 then then you know, sprinkle coconut and chocolate syrup on it or whatever or serve it chilled. This is how President Nelson is teaching us and instructing us to serve up peace. And so let me say those things again, lay aside bitterness, cease insisting that it is our way or no way. Stop doing things that make others walk on eggshells, number four very weapons of war. And number five put away insults and accusations. Now this is one of my favorite parts of the talk because I just it just shows the president Nelson’s personality so much and it to me it makes him so endearing. Because he says, and maybe you remember this part in the talk where he says at this point, you may be thinking that this message would really help someone you know, do you remember this? And he says perhaps you are hoping that it will help him or her to be nicer to you. And then he said with a grin and kind of a twinkle in his eye he says, I hope it will. But I also hope that you will look deeply into your heart hurt to see if there are shards of pride or jealousy that prevent you from becoming a peace maker. So one of the things that I was doing as I was kind of going down this rabbit hole of comparison of cake making versus peacemaking is I looked up the most expensive cake that I could find like the most expensive, most intricate cake that has ever been created. And it’s Kate Middleton’s cake is one of the most expensive and there are other like actors and movie stars and stuff who’ve had bigger cakes, or even people in the music industry, but this one I thought was really classy. And anyway, so I had a picture of that in the lesson. And I showed it to everybody. And it’s very intricate, it was like 17 layers or something really pretty cost how many of our millions of dollars for a cake? And so then the question is, is if we were required, or not required, but what if we were asked to be on the team of cake makers for that cake? This once in a lifetime cake for Princess Kate? And her husband, right? Like what would we what would we have needed to have done ahead of time to lead up to that moment where we could make a cake. And this analogy, right, I want us to keep thinking about same with piece. So everything I’m going to talk about for cake making can also be applied to piece making. Okay, so here’s some of the things that I came up with. The question was, What things would you need to have done or needed to know in order to make this cake, and to make this beautiful presentation, this beautiful cake. And one of the things was practice, right, you would have need to have practice cake making a lot before you came to this moment, you would have also needed to cultivate it, cultivate the skill within oneself. So instead of just watching other people make cakes, you would have needed to know how within self to be creative and make a cake, you would need to know the ingredients for the cake, you would have needed to have a piece of creativity, which I can also think you guys is true for peacemaking that sometimes we got to be creative. Sometimes we got to think outside of the box. Sometimes we got to be more open to other people’s ideas and more open to seeing things a different way, or just creative and how we respond to someone. We also maybe would need some confidence if we were going to help on that cake. Lots and lots and lots of repetition, repetition, where there wasn’t as much pressure, right where it wasn’t as Do or die or where it wasn’t as intense of a situation having lots of repetitions, where there wasn’t so much pressure. And then the last thing that I came up with, and I’m sure that there’s more that we would have needed to study other people who are good at making cake. So all of these can apply to being a peace maker, having the practice cultivating peace within oneself first, knowing the ingredients be creative when trying to access that peace, having confidence and self, lots of repetitions, and studying other people who make peace.

19:05 So one of the biggest things that kind of stuck out to me as I was reading this talk and kind of studying this talk is that unless we first created piece within self, there is no making piece that we give to other people the same way with this cake. If you have not learned how to make a cake for yourself, for yourself, there is no way that you can offer cake to other people. And so that was my biggest takeaway because we don’t get to decide if other people feel peace. Because if you believe what I’ve been teaching here, which is your thoughts create your feelings. And your feelings are a vibration in your body. Pieces of vibration in your body that you get to feel when you think peaceful thoughts and I wish that we could Make people feel peaceful. The same way like, you know, maybe you’re offering cake at a birthday party or something like that, and someone’s like, No, thank you, I don’t want that cake. Some people don’t want to feel peace. But we can still feel peace within ourselves, and then that piece will inform our actions. And then we can share that piece with other people. Not that they’re going to take it. Not that they’re going to eat that piece, quote, unquote, or that cake. But we will feel peaceful inside. So here’s one big thing that came up in the lesson is there a difference between feeling angry and actually contending, because in this talk, President Nelson talks a lot about contention, talks a lot about contending one with one another and how it is not good to content. And it’s my feeling that it is okay to have the emotion of anger. Some remember, we have that human brain and sometimes we’re going to feel angry, sometimes we’re going to feel frustrated, sometimes we’re going to feel sad or mad or bad. And it actually, one woman raised her hand. And she said to me, you know, my son, when he got to the mission is companion told him that if he was feeling angry, or sad, or mad or bad, that there was something wrong, that he was doing his mission wrong, that if he had a bad day, then he was doing something wrong. And I’m here to tell you, my friends, you aren’t doing anything wrong, if you have a motion. And it doesn’t matter what that emotion is, it doesn’t matter if that emotion is feel is a fear, or guilt or frustration. It doesn’t matter what that is. You are a human serving a mission, you are a human working a job after college, you are a human that’s newly engaged. And it’s all within the range of what the human experience is supposed to be used to feel emotion, right? It’s actually I believe, why we’re here is to feel all the feelings now. If we take that anger that’s kind of coursing through our body. And then we contend with someone else if we butt heads with someone else, or go at it with someone else. Maybe not okay, but just feeling is not wrong. So what do you do when someone is coming at you? And I have this sometimes for me online, people will say, Oh, Jenny, this or Jenny, that and have all these things to say about me. But listen, they don’t know me. And so what do you do? How do you handle? How do you find peace within self? Even when someone is coming at you? What are some of the effective ways to do that? One of the things that someone said was seeing people as people not just as a face on a screen, one of the things was to understand where people are coming from. And I shared with them my analogy that I shared on the podcast a couple of weeks ago, where I talked about two worlds collide. I shared that concept with them that someone has a whole existence before they cross paths with you and a whole existence after and just having compassion and understanding for that. So here’s one of the things that I think we run into problems with is when we’re trying to quote unquote, resolve differences. And I don’t, I don’t even know if it’s necessary or even possible for us to resolve differences. What if we just all decided it was okay, for us to be different? What if it’s okay, that your companion sees it differently than you do? What if it’s okay, that your mission president sees it differently than you? What if it’s okay that your parents see it differently or your spouse sees it differently? We don’t need when I think of resolve differences. I think of dissolve differences as we’re getting rid of all of the differences and there shouldn’t be any but I really believe that Zion is not going to be a dissolve of differences. It’s going to be we’re all different and we’ve learned how to love and include all of us. Okay. So there was this quote that says from the talk if a friend on social media has strong political or social views that violate everything you believe in, an angry cutting retort by you will not help. Building bridges of understanding will require much more of you, but that is exactly what your friend needs. So instead of thinking about dissolving differences or resolving differences, what if we just built a bridge of understanding between the differences? How amazing could that be? So again, I feel like the biggest thing from this talk and there was a lot here, but my biggest takeaway was, you can’t make cake. Unless you know inside how to make cake. One of my favorite parts of the talk to where he is where he talked about President oaks and President Irene, and the way that they talk about their differences. President Nelson says differences our opinion, oh, sorry here. President Nelson says differences of opinion are a part of life. I work every day with dedicated servants of the Lord who do not always see an issue the same way. They know I want to hear their ideas and honest feelings about everything we discuss especially sensitive issues. He says my two noble counselors, President Dallin, H oaks and President Henry B. Irene are exemplary in the way that they express their feelings, especially when they may differ. They do so with pure love for each other. Neither suggests he knows best, and therefore must rigorously defend his position, neither evidences the need to compete with the other, because each is filled with charity, the pure love of Christ. Our deliberations can be guided by the Spirit of the Lord, how I love and honor these two great men. So notice how first they have to fill themselves up with charity, with love with peace, and then have a discussion, then they’re able to build those bridges. So the last question that I was wondering about as far as this recipe goes, is how many does this serve? So for peacemakers, like we are cake makers, how many does this cake? Or does this piece serve? And this is the quote from the top, the Gospel net is the largest net in the world, God has invited all to come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female, there is room for everyone. So all are invited, all get a piece of this piece, cake, everyone. And not just people who agree with you, not not just your companion who have the same interest as it’s for all of us, the awkward ones, the the ones that aren’t doing it right, the ones that disagree with you, this peace is available, through all because who is the greatest giver of peace? Who is the prince of peace? Jesus Christ. John 1427 reads, Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. Christ is the giver of all peace. He’s the ultimate Peacemaker. He’s the ultimate cake maker. He’s the eternal cake maker. Now the funny story that he started with, at the beginning of his talk, President Nelson said, Remember, he was in the operating room and there was a surgeon there with him. And he was so upset and he got so angry that he threw his scalpel and it landed in President Nelson’s arm. So when we fill ourselves up with peace, we can instead of offering people scalpels, we can offer cake. fill yourself up with peace. First, get really good at finding peace within yourself and love yourself. And that will just spill out to everyone that you come in contact with. Let’s offer cake.

29:18 Let’s offer that sweetness to everybody that we come in contact with. And we can then make peace and offer peace. Alright, everyone have the most amazing week, and we’ll see you next time. Serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints can present a unique set of challenges. And many of those challenges you might not even see coming. So you’re gonna want a unique set of solutions. It’s easier than you think to overcome worry and anxiety serve the successful mission you’ve always dreamed up and navigate your post mission experience with confidence. That is why I created some amazing free goodies that I’m sharing in my show notes. Maybe you’ll want to grab the free training for preparing missionaries, my video course for RMS or maybe you and I should hop on a free strategy call. If you’re ready to take your preparedness to serve or your preparedness to come home to the next level, then go grab one of those freebies. And in the meantime, no matter which part of the mission experience you are involved in, just know that Jenny, the LDS mission coach is thinking about you every single day