119. Remember These Three Things

In this podcast episode we dive into the three important things to remember in any aspect of life. These three things were initially intended to be advice for someone heading out on a mission, but can be applied to various situations.

The first thing to remember is that you can’t do it wrong. Often, we put pressure on ourselves to do things the “right” way, but this mindset only adds unnecessary stress. Instead, let’s think of life as a big experiment or creation, where you get to try different things and learn along the way. Embrace the idea that you can create what you want and let go of the fear of doing it wrong.

The second thing to remember is that your way is the best way. When we find ourselves in situations where everyone else seems to be the same, we may feel the need to change or be someone else. However, I want to emphasizes that you don’t need to be different than you are. Embrace your unique gifts, talents, and abilities, and trust that being yourself is the best way to connect with others and achieve your goals.

Lastly, we will have to be willing to feel. It’s easy to be open to positive emotions like happiness and contentment, but we often try to avoid negative emotions like loneliness, sadness, or anxiety. However, it’s important to be willing to feel all emotions, as they are a natural part of life. By embracing and accepting all emotions, you can navigate through them with more ease and learn from the experiences they bring.

Overall, relax, surrender, and embrace the idea that you have the power to create what you want in life. By remembering these three things – you can’t do it wrong, your way is the best way, and be willing to feel – you can navigate through any situation with more confidence and self-acceptance.

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0:00 Hey, what’s up everyone, it’s Jennie Dildine, the LDS mission coach and you are listening to the LDS mission Podcast, episode number 119. Remember these three things. I’m Jenny, the LDS mission coach. And whether you’re preparing to serve a mission, currently serving a returned missionary or a missionary mama like me, I created this podcast just for you. Are you searching for epic confidence? Ready to love yourself and to learn the how of doing hard things? Then let’s go. I will help you step powerfully into your potential and never question your purpose. Again. It’s time to embrace yourself. Embrace your mission. Embrace your life, and embrace what’s next. Hey, what’s up, everyone? Welcome to the podcast. I hope you’re all doing fabulous on this fine. Friday, we have reached the end of September. I don’t know about you. But time is a tickin. Folks. It’s so fast. Unless you’re a missionary mom listening? And you’re like, actually, no, it doesn’t go fast. I felt like when my sons were gone on their mission, the first year went super slow. And then you pass that year mark. And then it starts to speed up a little bit and move faster and faster and faster until the last month. So maybe if you have a missionary coming home in the next week or so you’re like, No, this month has it like slows to a standstill. So yeah, that’s just kind of a funny tidbit is people ask me they’re like is it always said always gonna feel this slow? Is it always gonna feel this hard? And I’m like, No, you’ll get used to it. And it’ll speed up after the first year and then the last month won’t be as slow as molasses. So, but for me, time has been going pretty quick. You know, I feel like I have a lot of stuff. We’re doing a lot of trips, coaching trips, and family trips. And this next weekend, I’m gonna go see my son down at school, Ensign and check on him. So lots of fun things going on. And in fact, I think when this episode comes out, my daughter has homecoming, it’ll be the weekend of homecoming for our high school. So we are headed into all of that fun stuff as well as I’m just really realizing as I’m looking at the calendar General Conference. So that is Bluetooth, that is always such a fun time of year. I always think about my son told me when he was on his mission, that General Conference was the closest thing that you get to a vacation when you’re on the mission. Do you guys feel that way too. If you’re serving right now, that general conferences a little bit of a respite. And it’s kind of a nice, relaxing time hopefully for you or a fun time that you’re getting together with other missionaries to watch. So anyway, sending love to all of you currently serving those getting ready, those who are home, anyone who’s struggling, spin sending you, especially a lot of love. And I’m thinking about you guys every single day. And always just like what else? How else can we help? How else can we reach them? The time after the mission, especially at night, just one of the reasons I got into this work in the first place is just because I just realized it doesn’t have to be that hard to come home from a mission or it shouldn’t have to be that hard. I guess it is hard. And it shouldn’t have to be as hard as it is. And so sending love to all of you wherever you are in the mission experience if you’re a mission president, or I think we’re calling them mission leaders now, right? Your senior couple wherever you’re sending you the most love. Okay, today I wanted to talk about remember these three things. And what prompted this podcast episode was the fact that I had a strategy call with a preparing missionary. And she was the sweetest girl and she felt like she’d, you know, taken some mission prep classes and was a little bit worried about maybe possibly having to learn a language. She didn’t quite have her mission call yet that she wanted to hop on and just sort of pick my brain and you know, just get some advice from someone who’s had 1000s of sessions with 1000s of missionaries in well, we should say 1000s of sessions with hundreds of missionaries

4:45 and all different stages of the mission experience. And so, you know, we talked through a couple things she said I shared some concerns and then I just was like, Is there anything else? Anything else I can help you with? Do you have any questions for me anything else? And she said And well, what? Like, what is your last piece of advice? Like? What advice would you give someone that was heading out on a mission. And I love opportunities like this, because it gives me an opportunity to take all of my content, over four years of content of emails, and have podcasts and of talking to people and meeting with people and social media posts, it gives me a chance to take all of that content and boil it down into just like some bullet points, which I think is the perfect concept for a podcast because those little easy digestible things, I think, are some of my favorite podcasts, something that I can take away, and start using immediately and start immediately implementing now the useful thing about these three things that I’m going to share with you were intended when I talk to her to be three things to remember on your mission. But I would venture to say that this could be used in any aspect of your life. So remember this when you’re starting college. Remember this when you’re starting to have babies remember this when you’re changing jobs. Remember this when you’re graduating from college, remember these three things at every aspect of your life. So maybe as you’re listening, depending on where you’re at, you can kind of see if you can apply them. Or maybe you just recently, our new mission leaders went out in July. And you know, you’re just feeling like you’re starting to get your bearings and everything like that. I think all of these are applicable in all aspects. And I think important things to remember. So I’m going to just go over them briefly is if we’re gonna remember three things, let’s remember, number one, you can’t do it wrong. Number two, remember your way is the best way. And you don’t need to be different than you are. And number three, remember, you’re gonna have to be willing to feel and it’s okay, if you do. Okay, so number one, remember, you can’t do it wrong. When I was talking to this girl, we were talking about the mission. And so what I said to her is, remember, you can’t do the mission wrong. Now, one of the things I like to think about this is that we have this idea of the right way to do something. And if we’re not doing it the way that everybody else is doing it, if it’s not, quote unquote, the right way, then we must be doing it wrong, we must be a failure, we must not be successful, all of those kinds of things. And instead of thinking about your mission, or whatever you’re up to right now, as I can mess this up, I can do it wrong, which by the way, just adds so much pressure to yourself, which is not a useful fuel. Remember how we talk about emotions being the fuel to your car, and if you’re feeling stressed and pressured, you’re gonna go one direction, only if you’re feeling like content and abundant and peaceful, you’re gonna go a different direction. Neither direction is wrong. But I like to just think of the emotions like a fuel, what kind of fuel do I want fueling me to get where I’m going, and when we think I can do the mission wrong. Or another version of this would be, I could be a bad missionary or about employee or a bad business owner or a bad mom, then that creates all of this pressure. And that pressure doesn’t always warrant or create our most useful action. And so what I would say instead is, you can’t do the mission wrong, you can’t do your life wrong. Your life is just basically a big experiment, right? Your mission is an experiment, you’re going to try some stuff, and then you’re going to try some more stuff. And even more than an experiment, I often like to think of our missions or our lives, like a creation like, and I’ve talked about this many times on the podcast is like you’re a creator, you are created in the image of our heavenly parents, who are also creators and that divine gift of creation they gave to you to create to create a mission experience to create an education to create an email to create a conversation to create a podcast like I have been doing here. And so just remember that you can’t do it wrong. You just can’t relax into this idea and surrender to this idea that you know what I get to create what I want, and that’s gonna be fun. It doesn’t have to be filled with pressure. Okay. Number two, remember your way is the best way and you don’t need to be different than you are. What we tend to see right on the mission is we jump into this group of really homogenous people. Everybody looks like us. Everyone’s wearing basically the same clothes are the same uniform, the same tags, following the same rules, teaching the same things having the same goals, which can be really valuable and helpful until you start to look around you. And notice how you’re different. Maybe someone on the mission has told you, you need to be more bold, or you need to be more outgoing. Or you need to jump into the lesson more than you are, or whatever that is, right? But listen, you didn’t go on the mission to be somebody else, you didn’t get that job, they didn’t hire you for that job. Because they want you to be someone else, right. And even let’s say you’re getting married, or you’re having babies, it’s like, you’re supposed to be the mom to those kids. So you don’t need to be different than you are. Now, please don’t misunderstand me this is not to say like, we never want to, like evolve, or change or grow or whatever. But it’s tough to do that. From a place where you’re judging yourself and hating where you are always the best growth and change and transformation comes from self love, self compassion, loving where you are, and then wanting something different. So I’m all for it. If you’re like, you know what, while I’m out here on my mission, I think I want to stretch myself a little bit, I think I want to get a little bit better at talking to people, by all means go for it. But don’t judge yourself because you’re quote unquote, shy or don’t judge yourself because you’re quote unquote, not built your way is the best way. And you’ve been given certain gifts, talents, abilities, maybe your companion doesn’t have, or maybe if you’re working in a company, like one of my coaches, he was a physics major. And now he’s working in a company doing physics stuff, I’m pretty sure. And his way is going to be different than the other people that he’s working with. And his way is the best way, you’re always going to be the best version of you, when you’re you. It makes total sense, right? Like, I think we understand that logically. But really, remember and let that land your way is the best way. And you don’t need to be different. If you want to, if you want to broaden your skills and all of that, that’s great. That’s super fun. But you don’t have to be different, you don’t need to be different than you are, you will reach who you need to reach and connect with the people you need to connect with when you’re being you. And then the third thing, remember, you’re gonna have to be willing to feel, and it’s totally okay, if you do, I think we sort of believe that we’re willing to feel certain emotions. And does this sound familiar? Like I’m totally willing to be happy and content and even, maybe feel a little pressure and work hard. But I don’t want to feel all those other emotions, like lonely or homesick or sad, or anxious, right? So here’s what you need to know is, if you want to remember this third thing, it is that you have to be willing to feel all of them. And I’m not saying that you will feel all of them. I’m just saying you got to be willing to feel all of them. And it’s also totally okay, that you do. So let’s say you wake up one morning on the machine, you’re just feeling super anxious, you’re like, alright, if this is what we’ve got, today, I’m willing, or we wake up, you know, one day or one night, let’s say you’re just starting to have babies, and you’re wake up in the middle of night, and you’re just like, freaking exhausted, and you’re anxious. And you’re I don’t know, just sad about something going on in your life. And what we can say is like, oh, yeah, if this is part of the gig, if this is part of the gig of being a new mom, okay, I’m willing to feel, let’s feel. And it’s, again, reminder, it’s totally okay, if you do. So, I’m sure there’s a lot more, I’m sure there’s, you know, a lot more things that I would recommend, or that I would want you to remember on your mission, or when you’re going into a new environment, or when you’re going into a new group of in laws, maybe you’re getting married, maybe you’re starting a new job, maybe you’re just going into a new phase of your life or whatever is happening. I’m sure there are a lot more than just three. But I think if you can remember these three, it will get you pretty far. So let me we’ll just go over them here one more time for you. Remember, you can’t do it wrong. Number two, remember your way is the best way and you don’t need to be different than you are. And number three, remember, you’re gonna have to be willing to feel and it’s totally okay that you do. Now, one thing you just could remember is if you’re going to feel sad, if life is has sadness in it, and it will or if life has a little bit of anxiety and it will if it has a little bit of pressure like we know it will we have these human brains Gotta come along for the ride.

15:01 Where do we want to do that? Do we want to do that on the mission? Do we want to do it at home? Do we want to do it in a new job? Do we want to do it having babies? Do we want to do it married? How do we, if we’re gonna have to feel if life is about feeling, then where do we want to do that? And where are we willing to do that, in some places, you might not be willing, like, if you’re in a relationship, that doesn’t feel very good, or whatever, totally, you might say, Hey, I’m not willing to feel here, because I don’t like what I’m getting out of it. But in most cases, if it’s something that you want, and it’s something that you’re working towards, and it’s something that’s going to help you grow, and change and transform yourself into a new version of you, you’re gonna have to be willing to fail. And it’s totally okay if you do, because you’re human, and that brain gets to come along for the ride. Alright, so I hope you remember these three things. I hope they’re digestible, and easy to implement, and that you can start taking with you today, put them in your back pocket, and maybe even write them down somewhere. And I hope it’ll make a change for the experience that you’re having. All right, you guys sending you so much love. I hope you have an amazing week, and we’ll talk next time. Serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints can present a unique set of challenges. And many of those challenges you might not even see coming. So you’re gonna want a unique set of solutions. It’s easier than you think to overcome worry and anxiety, serve the successful mission you’ve always dreamed up and navigate your post mission experience with confidence. That is why I created some amazing free goodies that I’m sharing in my show notes. Maybe you’ll want to grab the free training for preparing missionaries, my video course for RMS or maybe you and I should hop on a free strategy call. If you’re ready to take your preparedness to serve or your preparedness to come home to the next level. Then go grab one of those freebies. And in the meantime, no matter which part of the mission experience you were involved in just now that Jenny the LDS mission coach is thinking about you every single day.

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Hey! I'm Jennie - The LDS Mission Coach.

Preparing for, serving and coming home from an LDS Mission can present countless changes and transitions. I’ve seen these changes put missionaries at the mercy of their emotions and questioning their abilities. With the tools I teach, young adults empower themselves to navigate every moment of the mission experience with epic, unwavering confidence.

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