128. When Do I Know Enough?

In this episode, we talk about when we know enough. The inspiration for this episode comes from an email that I received from someone who is preparing to leave on a mission. The person expressed their concern that they don’t understand the gospel enough to teach someone on a mission. We explore the idea of knowing enough and I offer two options to deal with this fear.

The first option is, being okay with not knowing. Our brains naturally try to avoid pain and uncertainty, which can lead to feeling stuck. However, embracing uncertainty and being comfortable with not knowing can actually lead to more success in life. I challenge all of us to challenge the need for certainty and be open to the unknown.

The second option is focusing on what we do know instead of what we don’t know. By focusing on what we do know, such as personal values and determination, we can build confidence and overcome the fear of not knowing enough.

Overall, I hope this episode helps alleviate the pressure of feeling like we don’t know enough. And that you can take action despite our uncertainties. Embrace uncertainty and focus on your personal strengths as a means of overcoming fear and achieving success.

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0:00 Hey, what’s up everyone? It’s Jennie Dildine, the LDS mission coach and you are listening to the LDS mission Podcast, episode number 128. When do I know enough?

0:14 I’m Jennie the LDS mission coach. And whether you’re preparing to serve a mission, currently serving a returned missionary or a missionary mama like me, I created this podcast just for you. Are you searching for epic confidence? Ready to love yourself and to learn the how of doing hard things? Then let’s go. I will help you step powerfully into your potential and never question your purpose. Again. It’s time to embrace yourself. Embrace your mission, embrace your life, and embrace what’s next.

0:54 Hey, everybody, welcome to the podcast. I’m excited that you’re here with me. Feels like I have a little bit of a frog in my throat today. I have been sort of emotionally and physically drained the last little bit. Pretty much since Thanksgiving. But hey, I’m here. I’m showing up for you guys, I want to be able to chat with you today. And can I just say how grateful I am that you’re here, this work of reaching missionaries and helping missionaries prepare for their missions. And really helping in that transition home, is really, really valuable work to be doing. And you’re listening. So that means you’re a part of this work too. The more people that kind of know about these tools and about how to sort of manage your mind and feel your feelings and know that it’s all okay. The more people that know that, the better the mission experience, I think will be for many of our missionaries. The easier it’ll be to transition home and kind of have your own back and not judge yourself in your transition home. And so thank you for being here.

2:03 I would appreciate it. Of course, if you would share, especially if you have been listening for a while and you like what you hear here. I was thinking today that one of the biggest gifts that you could give me and not that you have to give me a gift. But I really would love it. If you could share the podcast with somebody. I’ve had emails that just say the podcast alone has changed my entire mission. And that is such amazing work to be involved in. And and I’m just grateful you’re here on so if you feel so inclined. And if you want to, it help so much to get the word out about the podcast, if you share it with someone. Also, if you write a review or rate the podcast, it just really would be a huge gift to me. Because you guys truly what I’m passionate about is helping these kids. And I’ve had people tell, tell me like, it’s pointless, or it doesn’t matter, whatever. And I’m like, No, it matters. And I’m here and I’m gonna be here. And I’m gonna keep being here. And I’m going to keep recording podcasts for you. Because I care about this. And I care about you. And so even if I have a frog in my throat and I sound a little bit hoarse, here we are. And so thanks so much for being here.

3:14 Today, I want to talk about when do I know enough? Oh, but before we dive into that, what is today December 1, I think you guys when this podcast airs. And so here we are, December, let’s go. Anyway, and I should tell you about all of the free things you can get from me, but I think it’s in the outro of the podcast. And I should tell you about all the ways that we support missionaries, you know, with one on one coaching and we have like an MTC like experience, all for being able to prepare your mental and emotional well being for the mission, because it can be rough out there. But you can find all of that on my website. And you can also find many free things in the shownotes to this podcast.

3:57 So let’s just instead of talking about all of that, let’s just dive into what I wanted to share with you today. And it comes from actually, an email that I got from someone who was getting ready to leave on their mission. And I do have one of my free things that I offer on my website. And in the show notes of this podcast. I think this person had clicked on getting a free training, I’m pretty sure is what it was. And then you get an email and the email says, hey, you know, let me know what your main worry is about for the mission and what is kind of keeping you stuck or where are you at so just let me know and respond to this email. And so I got a response from this person. And this person said, I think my number one problem that has been affecting my preparation is the recurring thought that I don’t understand the gospel enough to teach someone. And so that’s where I came up with this idea of this podcast episode, which is when do I know enough?

5:01 Now, it’s interesting that this person probably before she’s even, like studied my work, or any of the work that you and I do here together, that she notices that this is a recurring thought, right. And so this thought, remember, we teach that sentences in our minds, which are our thoughts, that creates our feelings, which is a vibration in your body. This thought when you think it, and we can all just sort of think it right now, I don’t understand the gospel enough to teach it to someone else. When we think that thought we’re gonna have some feelings that come up, right? It’s like point A connects in our brain, point A connects to point B, and we’re going to create feelings of insecurity, maybe nervousness, some embarrassment, maybe some guilt associated with this thought. And so we have two options, when we notice that we have this thought, I don’t know enough to serve a mission, or I don’t know enough to apply for that job, or I don’t know enough to jump into that major, or whatever it could be. Or I don’t know enough to maybe apply for that promotion at work or whatever. We kind of have two options when we think we don’t know enough. And what I think she’s talking about right is sort of this book smarts, like, I have to know the gospel. I’ve had other emails from people that say, you know, I don’t have the scriptures memorized, I’m afraid to even share scripture stories, because I’m afraid I’m gonna get them wrong. Okay, so I want to talk about two things that we can do. In this scenario, when we feel like we don’t know enough.

6:37 Now, the first thing I think we should acknowledge is, whenever our brain offers us, I’m not enough blank, then we just know, that’s just our lower brain. It is trying to avoid pain, it’s trying to conserve energy. Because when we think we don’t know enough, it tends to shut us down. You can even see like this person said, it’s affecting my preparation, this thought. And this is just her brain trying to shut her down. So totally fine. Nothing wrong with thinking this thought we even part of being a human on this planet is that we’re going to think we don’t know enough, we’re going to think we’re not good enough. We’re going to think we’re falling short in some way all of the time. That’s just part of the human condition. But let’s talk about some things maybe we can do. So the first thing that we can do is we can be okay, with not knowing. Okay, that’s one of the first things that we can do. It’s sort of like we add this parenthese at the end of I don’t know, enough, or I don’t understand the gospel enough. And that’s okay. So, the tricky thing, right, is when we have to be okay with not knowing, that creates some more uncertainty. Our brains hate, hate uncertainty. So if we’re just like, Okay, I guess I don’t know, I don’t know how that’s gonna work, then our brains are like, that’s a terrible idea. We need to know everything. We need to know everything ahead of time, we need to have a plan, right? So your brain won’t like it. If you’re just like, Huh, I guess I don’t know, enough. Okay, your brain won’t like it. But open up to that.

8:25 Listen, I was thinking about this today, the more comfortable that we can get with uncertainty, the more success you will have not only on your mission, but in your life. Okay, our brain craves certainty. And so it’s gonna fight against anything that’s uncertain. But the more we can just be like, Yeah, I don’t, I don’t know how that’s gonna work. I hope it works out. I hope I know enough, but maybe I don’t, I don’t know. Okay, the more comfortable we can get with that, the more successful you will be, because you will be willing to feel uncertain. So in just a minute, I’m going to talk about something kind of opposite that will feel opposite to us. And I’m going to talk about the second option of what we can do with this thought. But for now, let’s just think about this idea. It’s okay to be uncertain. And any sort of like certainty that our brain offers us, is not always actually certain. Our brain just offers it to us so that we can feel safe so that we can feel comfortable moving forward. But most things actually are uncertain, like how would we even know that you understood the gospel enough? How would we know that? Like, there’s no blood test? Even if we were sitting in a lesson and someone didn’t know the answer to something. We could be with the most like scholarly, certain person that knows the scriptures inside and out and maybe a person who you’re teaching a lesson to, they’d have a question and that person this scholarly person wouldn’t have the answer. So there’s no way to know if we know enough.

10:07 It’s just interesting because our brain kind of tells us that if we had all the scriptures memorized, then I could feel confident. Or if I knew my girlfriend back home, maybe you’re on a mission, my girlfriend back home, if I knew that we were meant to be together, and that she was going to wait for me, if she was going to be there, when I get home, then I would feel better, I’d feel more confident. Or I’ve heard this one too. Like, if I just did more language study, or if I had gone on more splits with the missionaries, then I could feel confident. But those things don’t make you confident, you guys. And we don’t actually know like, even if we had done more language study or gone on splits with the missionaries. Would we feel confident? My guess is probably not. Because our brain is always going to be like, we don’t know enough. We’re not good enough, blah, blah, blah. It’s just the way the brain works. Okay? So option one with this thought is be okay, with not knowing, be okay with the certainty get really comfortable with uncertainty.

11:12 The second thing we can do about this, I might not know enough, is we can focus instead of what we don’t know, or what we don’t understand, we focus on what we do know. This is just like a simple redirect for our brain. So the same kind of comes to mind, like, what you don’t know, can’t hurt you. Unless, of course, you judge yourself for not knowing. So instead of focus on what you don’t know, let’s just focus on what you do know. It might be I know myself. And I’m not talking about book smarts here. I’m talking about maybe you know, yourself, maybe you have a thought like, I know that I’m going to do what I can. I know that I’m willing to feel uncertain. I know, I’m not going to give up. So I actually have had this experience a couple times where the work that I’m trying to do with missionaries, people are like, Oh, who do you think you are? You’re just a stay at home mom, how can you even help? Who do you think you are to like, teach this or help them or whatever. Right. And I just one of the things that I know, that I decided and I actually you guys have it written on a piece of paper right up on my desk, on a white piece of paper in big black letters. I know people. And the know actually, incidentally, coincidentally, or Incidentally, I don’t know which, is a heart. That “O”, in know is a heart. So if I don’t know, some scripture, or some historical, whatever, stats of whatever it is, if I don’t know some scripture story, or who said what, what I do know, 100% is I know, people. I know that I care about people. I know my heart. I know myself. So that’s what I mean by focus on what you do know.

13:20 Not, oh, I know this scripture story, or I know this part of the gospel, focus on what you know about you. You have some gifts, and some abilities that people on your mission are going to need. And sometimes they’re going to need, not the person that knows the the black and white scripture story in the whatever it is, they’re going to need you. They’re going to need you, the fact that you know people, that you know, your heart, that you know yourself that you know that you’re willing to sit in uncertainty about all the rest of it. And you know, what that does, actually, as I’m thinking about it, is it gives other people permission to be like, oh, yeah, I guess I’m not super certain. And it’s okay. I’m gonna just feel uncertain about what I know. Those are the two options. Either be okay with not knowing or focus on what you do know about you, about yourself. Because here’s the truth. Will we ever know enough to serve a mission? I don’t know. And then the other really amazing truth is, do you know enough? Yes, absolutely. Right now. Today. Will you ever know enough to get married? Or to be a father or a mother? No, because you’ve never done it before. But do you know enough? Yes, you know enough right now.

14:53 Be okay with not knowing option one. I don’t know if I’m ready to serve a mission. I don’t know if I know the gospel well enough. I don’t know, or understand the gospel enough to teach someone and that’s okay, I’m still willing to go. But what I do know, is I have heart, I have the best intentions, I know that I’m willing to go and do it. I know people, and that you guys is the best combination of both. Option one. And option two. Is we decide on purpose, what we want to believe what we do know. And we also introduce the uncertainty. So it sounds a little bit like this. I know for certain in the future, I am going to have the most amazing mission. But I don’t know how it’s gonna look. I don’t know how my companions are going to be, I don’t know, if I’m going to screw up a lesson. I don’t know what it’s gonna look like. But I do know that in the end, because I me, and because I’m willing, it’s going to be the most amazing mission. So this is a combination of both do you see? It’s what I know for sure is going to happen in the future. I’ve already decided and I don’t know how to get there. I don’t know what it’s going to look like getting there. So this one, I mean, it seems counterintuitive, right? It’s like we introduce the certainty with I’m for sure gonna make this the most amazing mission. But then we also balance it with sort of this uncertainty, but I don’t know what it’s gonna look like. And that’s okay.

16:27 Here’s another example. Maybe you’re just thinking to yourself, my daughter in law, she’s finishing nursing school, and she’s applied for a couple jobs. And she does have a job now, that she’s going to start after she graduates. But before that, she didn’t know how she was going to get there. But she had the ability to just decide, when I’m done with school, I am going to have the most amazing opportunities, because that’s who I am, I create amazing opportunities, I know that I’m going to have the most amazing opportunities. We decide what we do know. But I also don’t know how. And I also don’t know what that’s gonna look like. I’m open, I’m open to whatever it looks like. There’s a little bit of uncertainty. Okay, maybe it sounds like this, I already know, I’ve already decided that I’m going to marry the most amazing human. I know, I’m going to have an amazing marriage with an amazing human. But I also don’t know how I’m gonna get there. I don’t know what that process is gonna look like. And that’s okay.

17:33 Interestingly, you guys, this is what faith is, right? It’s a belief in what’s possible in our future, but not knowing exactly, the how. Of how it’s all gonna work out. Or what those exact steps are gonna be. We basically can sort of put like something out there in the future that we have already decided it’s just a done deal. But be open to the ways in the paths that are going to lead you there. And were like, Oh, well, I don’t really know. But I’m going to take this step. I don’t really know. But I’m going to take this next step. So open yourself up to possibility, to certainty and be okay, with not knowing. Decide on purpose, what you want to have happen in the future, but be open to the ways in the paths that you’re going to get there.

18:24 So this podcast title is a question. When do I know enough? The answer to the question, it really does seem contradictory. Because maybe it is. When will you know enough? To get that job, or to get married, or to have babies, or to serve a mission, or to excel on your mission? Or get your dream job? Whatever it is, when will you know enough? You won’t! Like ever! You won’t know enough. And, you know enough, right now. Okay? It’s both. So create that certainty when you want it. The certainty in yourself, in what you know, in who you are, and then get super comfortable with the uncertain parts. None of us know what this journey is going to look like for you. The only way you’ll know is once you’ve been through it. Okay, so it’s both. You don’t have to know. And you already know enough. Everyone have the most amazing week. I hope you have a magical December. Talk to you again soon.

19:39 Serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints can present a unique set of challenges, and many of those challenges you might not even see coming. So you’re gonna want a unique set of solutions. It’s easier than you think to overcome worry and anxiety. Serve the successful mission you’ve always dreamed of and navigate your posts mission experience with confidence. That is why I created some amazing free goodies that I’m sharing in my show notes. Maybe you want to grab the free training for preparing missionaries, my video course for RMS or maybe you and I should hop on a free strategy call. If you’re ready to take your preparedness to serve or your preparedness to come home to the next level, then go grab one of those freebies. And in the meantime, no matter which part of the mission experience you are involved in, just know that Jennie, the LDS mission coach is thinking about you every single day.

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Hey! I'm Jennie - The LDS Mission Coach.

Preparing for, serving and coming home from an LDS Mission can present countless changes and transitions. I’ve seen these changes put missionaries at the mercy of their emotions and questioning their abilities. With the tools I teach, young adults empower themselves to navigate every moment of the mission experience with epic, unwavering confidence.

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