150. The Most Empowering Thoughts

Hey everyone, it’s Jennie here with episode 150 of the LDS Mission Podcast.

Today I wanted to discuss the power of our thoughts and how we can empower ourselves through more positive self-talk.

As missionaries, we often experience doubts, worries and insecurities. But did you know the thoughts we choose to think can significantly impact our confidence and outlook?

In this episode I share how our default thoughts can sometimes be unhelpful, and offer alternatives focused on personal empowerment rather than external factors. I also discuss the importance of using “I statements” to build ourselves up regardless of circumstances.

If you’re feeling discouraged or unsure of yourself, give this episode a listen to discover how switching up your self-talk could be the game-changer you’ve been looking for.

I hope you walk away feeling motivated to embrace thoughts that strengthen your sense of agency and ability to handle whatever comes your way.

As always, if you found this episode helpful, I want to invite you to subscribe if you aren’t already, share this episode with your friends and missionaries you know and write a review. I know this work will help missionaries around the world and it would mean so much to me if you did. Until next week my friends.

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0:00 Hey, what’s up everyone, it’s Jennie Dildine, the LDS mission coach and you are listening to the LDS mission Podcast, episode number 150 the most empowering thoughts. I’m Jennie, the LDS mission coach. And whether you’re preparing to serve a mission, currently serving a returned missionary or a missionary mama like me, I created this podcast just for you. Are you searching for epic confidence? Ready to love yourself and to learn the how of doing hard things? Then let’s go. I will help you step powerfully into your potential and never question your purpose. Again. It’s time to embrace yourself. Embrace your mission, embrace your life, and embrace what’s next.

0:50 Hey, everybody, welcome to the podcast. I am excited you are here. Welcome to all of the new listeners, wherever you are. Welcome to the new missionaries who are listening now that they’re on their missions. I love hanging out with you guys. And I love sharing some ideas with you. And just getting more like Help and Tools out to missionaries in all stages of the mission experience. Right now I’m a little bit focused on preparing missionaries only because today is the last day two sign up midnight Mountain Time. Today is the last day to sign up for mission prep plus, which is our signature MTC like experience, but we address everything with your mindset and emotional well being. I remember one time I was messaging with a missionary on Facebook, and he was like, My Maps is really going downhill. And I was like what is maps, I messaged him back and he’s like, Oh, it stands for mental, emotional, and physical and spiritual well being. So that is what we address before you even leave is how to keep your maps in check and keep you in charge of your maps so that the mission doesn’t have the ability to sort of take you down. And to cause you to really suffer and struggle out there. We don’t want that we want you showing up as the most empowered version that you can be. And I wanted to read to you a testimonial from someone who just went through our April session of mission prep. Plus, it was such a fun, amazing group of people that were in there. She said before mission prep. Plus, I was so worried about comparison and self confidence. Have you ever thought this before she said I was so worried I would self sabotage and never reach my full potential as a missionary after mission prep. Plus, I learned how to be self confident and maneuver around comparison. She said I love myself more. And I have way more empathy for myself and my emotions. Amazing. So if you are excited about mission prep, plus, if you are ready to be in there with us and get all of that stuff figured out before you leave on your mission. Maybe just shoot me an email Jennie at Jennie dildine.com, and we can get you all signed up. Um, the other thing I will say is if you’re not leaving on your mission, will you just share this episode with someone or share what we’re doing with someone that you know, I think what’s the number there’s like, I can’t even remember the number of missionaries that they announced the general conference because there’s so many missionaries that need more help with their mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well being. And so that’s what we’re doing here.

3:50 I also, by the way, have been sort of reminiscing today when I started recording this podcast, I was like episode number 150. That means I must be pretty close to three years of doing the podcast every single week. And sure enough, I look back may 15. I have been doing the podcast for three years. My first episode aired on May 15 2021. So that’s pretty fun to say. And back then I was like I don’t even know how I’m going to do this. How am I going to have ideas? How am I gonna know what to speak to? And I just keep having more ideas and keep hearing from you and keep witnessing new things and new struggles that missionaries are having in return missionaries are having mission leaders are having and so it feels really good to say three years strong. I’ve never missed a week and I hope that this podcast is helping you and helping the people that you love because I that is what means the most to me is hearing how it is affecting you, and the way it is changing your missions and your lives. And so, super fun. Um, so I’m going to talk a little bit about how I first felt when I started a podcast in the topic that I want to address today, which is the most empowering thoughts. And a couple years ago, when I very first started, kind of posting on social media, starting my business, I had some kind of a post that said, I empower missionaries and returned missionaries to create the mission experience that they want. Well, I had someone reached out to me. And they said, That’s not your job. You shouldn’t be telling people that you empower them. Because the truth is, is they empower themselves. And at first, I was a little bit like, huh, seems like kind of really kind of a semantics thing about, you know, who empowers who and all of that. But I actually took that to heart. I actually think about that a lot. It’s not my job to empower you. The only person that can empower you, is you.

6:19 Okay, and so that is what I hope this episode does with the most empowering thoughts is I’m not going to empower you. But if you decide to adopt these thoughts, you can empower yourself, which is the only person that can empower you, is you. So here’s what tends to happen right is when we first learn that our thoughts create our feelings, and then the thought is a literal synapse in our brain that connects Zen’s emotion through our body. Our first instinct is to just switch out a thought and think, Well, I don’t like feeling stressed. I don’t like feeling overwhelmed. I don’t like feeling sad. So I’m just going to switch the thought. And then I’m going to feel something else. And it’s gonna be really easy. And this is kind of level one of creating empowering thoughts. Okay, so some of those thoughts, and I’m gonna give you tons of examples. But let me I just want to explain it a little bit. First, some of those thoughts are going to work in the short term, actually, they’re going to help you feel empowered. But the most empowering thoughts are more long lasting, and they’re actually outcome proof, meaning, it doesn’t matter what the outcome actually is, or the result actually is, is the thought will still apply. So let’s give a couple examples, a few examples of what our thoughts sometimes are just on default, when our lower caveman brain is kind of running the show. And then I’m gonna give you the example of what we tend to think the quote unquote, most empowering thought is then to feel something different. So one example is, when I first started my podcast, I’ll never forget, I was like, sitting in a hotel room in downtown Boise. And I brought my mic with me and a little box so that the sound would sound good. It’s a different mic than I have right now. And I actually remember this is so embarrassing to share this, but I actually was worried about like, the reverberation, because did you know most people record their podcasts in their closet, because it has, it’s kind of soundproof and, and there’s no like reverberation. So I remember sitting in that hotel room, and I like actually hung some of the sheets around.

8:49 It’s so funny to think about this now. And I like put some pillows around, so that I wouldn’t have like, so it would mimic a closet, basically. Anyway. So my first thought, of course, is like, my lower K membrane is like, no one’s going to listen to my podcast. Okay, how do I feel when I think that I feel kind of disappointed, I feel kind of discouraged. Right back then. That’s actually what I thought it was the first thought my brain came up with well, when we understand that thoughts, create feelings, then all of a sudden, we’re like, Oh, I know what I need to think instead. And we tend to go to that complete opposite end of the spectrum, which is, I’m going to have an amazing podcast. Okay. And that when we think it, of course, is going to make us feel excited or motivated or something like that. Here’s what the problem is, is when I’m looking right, especially at the beginning at the number of downloads and the number of people who are listening, right. And the number of people who are sending the emails about the podcast that this thought I’m going to have an amazing podcast is Not a result or outcome proof, meaning, when I start seeing how many people were listening, it’s not very many back then. There’s a lot of people listening now. But back then, I had, it was really hard for me to hold on to that belief that I’m going to have an amazing podcast. Okay. So one of the things I started thinking is, it’s sort of like this thought, the one that’s on the opposite end of the spectrum, that is temporarily going to make us feel better is kind of like a slippery thought, meaning we can hold on to it for a minute, it might make us feel good in the moment if we can talk ourselves into it. But when we start to see like, different outcomes and different results, then it becomes really challenging to continue to believe I’m going to have an amazing podcast or my podcast is amazing. Okay, so I’m gonna give you tons of examples of what maybe these quote unquote slippery thoughts are, that are hard to hold on to. And then I’m going to give you tons of examples of what we could maybe think instead, that is the most empowering for you to empower yourself. Okay.

11:16 So the first thing that we might think if we’re getting ready to take finals, many of us are taking finals around this time, is, I’m going to fail that test, right? We feel stressed when we think that thought it’s a literal synapse in your brain that goes, and then sends stress through your body. Okay? Now, we don’t want to feel stressed, maybe we want to feel confident or something like that. And I’ve even asked clients, I’m like, what would be the most useful feeling to feel if you’re going to take a test? And they say, confidence? And I’m like, Okay, well, what would you need to think to create confidence, and their first thought is the opposite end of the spectrum, which is, I’m gonna get an A on that test. Right? It makes us feel good for a second. But then that thought is slippery. Because what happens if we get a B? Or what happens if we get a C? Or what happens? If we fail that test, then we, then we’ve lost sort of our power to the test, or to that thought, Okay, let me give you another example. Maybe we meet our new companion for the first time, and we have this thought like, or maybe we’ve been with them for a minute through this entire transfer. And they say, and we have this thought, like, my companion doesn’t like me. Okay, that makes us frustrated when we think that way. And then we’re like, Well, I’m tired of feeling frustrated, some what I’m going to think instead, our brain offers us like something the opposite end of the spectrum, which is, my companion actually likes me a lot and wants what’s best for me? Do you see how when we go to this opposite end of the spectrum, it can make us feel good for a minute. But it’s sort of like our brain has this belief. And if we try to pull it all the way to this other end of the spectrum, our brain just doesn’t believe it for that long, because pretty soon we’ll start to find evidence and proof that it might not be true. Like maybe your companion ignores you or maybe your companion talks down to you or something. And so this thought my companion wants what’s best for me and really likes me is a slippery thought it’s not empowering for you.

13:31 And here’s the secret why is because this list of thoughts that I’m sharing with you now, the thought is still tied to an outcome that is outside of you. That’s why it’s slippery. That’s why it’s hard to hold on to. Because this thought still has the companion wrapped up in it. Right, my companion wants what’s best for me. Here’s another example. Sometimes I’ll do some exercises with people in Michigan prep plus, are one of my clients that I’m working with one on one, and we do some future thinking. So maybe you haven’t left on your mission. And you’re thinking, right now your default thought your brain is just thinking, I don’t know how to be successful on my mission. And that makes us feel kind of insecure and full of doubt, right? When we think that that so of course, our brain is like, well, I don’t want to feel that way anymore. So I’m gonna go clear to the other opposite end of the spectrum. And we’re gonna think I’m going to do amazing on my mission. But the trouble with that, right is we don’t know what the mission is going to be like, our brain doesn’t really believe for sure that that’s the way it’s gonna go down. And so, again, it’s in the future, and it’s like outcome based. Notice how this thought is still tied to the mission. Here Another one, no one will ever want to hire me. Or like, Oh, that feels discouraging when I think that right? So of course, our brain that lower brains like, oh, well, I know what we should do, let’s just think the opposite thought, we’re just gonna think I’m gonna get my dream job. It’s, this is what we would call you guys. Right? Maybe you’ve heard of this is like positive affirmations. And sometimes when I get on a strategy call, or when I’m working with clients, this is where their brain automatically goes. First is to the opposite thought. But it’s not always believable. And it’s slippery, because it’s tied to an outcome to the dream job. Right, and I’m gonna give you some examples of what we could think instead.

15:49 Okay, what about this one, and I kind of talked about this on the podcast last week, the podcast entitled, when you don’t feel heard, maybe we have this thought our brain is just taking in the information. We have this thought that’s like, no one cares about what I have to say. And that feels also kind of hopeless or discouraging, right? Or then we feel insecure when we think that. And so when I ask a client, I’ll be like, what would be a more useful way to feel? And then it’s like, well confident, what would we need to think if we’re feeling if we want to feel confident, confident, and they usually say their first thought that their brain goes to is other people care about what I have to say. But notice how, again, this thought is tied to other people. And so you might be on to me a little bit, is, what we’re going to discover is that the most empowering thoughts are thoughts about you about your characteristics about your identity, about your purpose, about your strength and power. Okay, this is the last example I’m going to share with you. Maybe you’re a missionary mom listening to this, and you have a thought your brain is taking in the information that it’s noticing about your son or daughter who’s serving or your RM who’s kind of struggling. And your thought is, my son or daughter shouldn’t be struggling so much. Okay, and that makes us feel kind of upset, or worried maybe even when we think that thought it’s a literal synapse connects in our brains sends emotion through our body where we feel worried. Okay, and so our brains like, oh, well, I know, thoughts create feelings. So guess what, I’m just gonna think the opposite thought. We’re gonna just think my son or daughter is doing amazing. Or my son or daughter is going to be just fine. But notice, that is still tied to the outcome of your son or daughter. And so it’s a slippery thought, because we can believe it for a second, maybe if they start to have a couple good weeks, we’re like, See, they’re doing great. But then what happens when they struggle again, that that thought is not believable anymore. So these thoughts, these slippery thoughts, the ones that are on the opposite end of the spectrum, the ones that are tied to an outcome, or something outside of you, they’re hard to hold on to. Because our brain is still going to continue to look for evidence of the thought it believed in the first place. So again, these might feel like just positive affirmations, almost like you’re trying to talk yourself into believing something that you don’t actually believe. So, here’s what we want to do instead.

18:47 If we want to change to a more empowering thought, the most empowering thoughts have nothing to do with outcomes have nothing to do with accomplishments have nothing to do with other people. They have to do with us, and the power and the agency and the influence and the characteristics and the traits that we have within us. Right, let’s make sense. Because when we can access that power within us, we stay more steady. We’re not looking for validation, and searching for evidence that that something’s going to work out. Right. So start choosing thoughts that are I statements. This is why President Nelson’s like your most important identity is when you can say I am a child of God. Right? Because it’s an i statement, it’s not connected to your achievements or your outcomes or how many baptisms you’re getting, or if you’re struggling or if you’re not struggling. It’s just an identity statement that starts with I. So when we’re thinking, we’re gonna go back, no one is listening, no one’s gonna listen to my podcast. Instead of just going to the opposite end of the spectrum and trying to talk our brain into something that it doesn’t actually believe in, that is still tied to podcast listeners, I can instead say, I am really good at learning new skills. And sticking with something. Notice how I completely untangle with that thought, my value my worth my identity, from the outcome of podcast listeners, I create a truth, an empowering thought for myself, that makes me feel confident, regardless of who listens, regardless of who emails me, regardless of how many downloads I have.

20:51 Okay, so here’s another one, we’re gonna go back to the failed test, instead of thinking, I’m going to fail that test. And then just going to the opposite end of the spectrum, go for an i statement, it’ll be way more empowering. It’s, I’ve got this. And you know, what I love so much about I’ve got this is it creates that confidence. It creates that empowerment for yourself. And I’ve got this infers that we are also got it if it if we fail, and we’ve also got it if we get a C. And we’ve also got it if we run out of time, when we’re taking that test, it’s an i statement where the power comes from within, when we think my companion doesn’t like me, don’t need to swing to the other side of the spectrum and grab a slippery thought that can’t feel true all the time. Find a thought that starts with I maybe it’s something like, I get to create whatever experience I want with my companion. That’s true, you guys, you regardless of how your companion shows up, you get to be in charge of you, and the experience that you have. And notice how we completely took the companion out of the equation, whether they like us or don’t like us, and we just be like, but you know what, I get to be in charge, I have the power to create whatever experience I want. Okay, if we have the thought, I don’t know how successful I’m going to be on my mission, instead of going all the way to be like, I’m going to be an amazing missionary. Maybe just decide, I can’t believe that I get this opportunity. I’m so lucky, who gets to do this stuff I do. And I’m going to make this mission what I want it to be. Because I’m cool like that, because I’m amazing, right? And I statement, instead of thinking, no one will ever want to hire me. And then flipping to the other end, where we have this slippery thought that we can’t hold on to maybe decide, I always do what it takes to find the job I want. Notice how that is an if statement about your character about who you are about what you want about what you’re willing to do. And that you can hold on to, regardless of how many interviews regardless of who hires you. This one, no one cares about what I have to say, sort of going all the way to the opposite end of the spectrum. Maybe we just want to decide on purpose. I know that my opinions matter, regardless of how everyone else is behaving around me. Doesn’t that create so much like power within you when you think that I know, my opinions matter? And we completely untangle it from other people. And it’s, it’s our belief about ourselves. This one, my son or daughter shouldn’t be struggling so much. And sort of like just trying to talk yourself into that. No, they’re doing just fine. So that you can feel better search for an i statement, something you believe about you about your worth, about your character about what you like what you’ve got going for you. Maybe it’s something like this, I’m the best one to help my son or daughter who is struggling. Okay, that thought creates power within you regardless of what’s happening outside of you.

24:28 So here’s what I would like for you to do if you feel like you want to and it sounds fun is create a list of ice statements. What is it that you want to believe about you, no matter what, no matter what the outcomes are? No matter what other people are saying or no matter what other people are doing. What do you want to believe about you? And when you notice these little thoughts because they’re going to come up right we have that lower caveman brain. It’s running all The time always trying to seek pleasure, avoid pain and conserve energy. Part of the human experience is to think you’re not doing a good job and to think, like, you’re not good enough, when those thoughts come up, instead of going to the other end of the spectrum, like, No, I’m amazing, right? Whatever, or I’m doing an amazing job because maybe on that day, your brain won’t believe it. Maybe your thought is, I’m strong enough to navigate the highs and the lows. I have what it takes, and I totally have my back when it happens. Okay, so decide what you want to believe about you. Change all of these thoughts that become kind of tricky and make don’t make you feel good. Don’t just change it to something that makes you feel better, that slippery that’s tied to an outcome, untie it from an outcome, make it an i statement. And those my friends are the most empowering thoughts for you to think for you to create your most like agency to tap into your most authority to tap into your most influence, and your most empowered self. Come from ice statements. All right, my friends. I hope this helps you. I hope you have an amazing week and we will talk to you next time.

26:19 Serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints can present a unique set of challenges. And many of those challenges you might not even see coming. So you’re gonna want a unique set of solutions. It’s easier than you think to overcome worry and anxiety, serve the successful mission you’ve always dreamed up and navigate your post mission experience with confidence. That is why I created some amazing free goodies that I’m sharing in my show notes. Maybe you’ll want to grab the free training for preparing missionaries, my video course for RMS or maybe you and I should hop on a free strategy call. If you’re ready to take your preparedness to serve or your preparedness to come home to the next level. Then go grab one of those freebies. And in the meantime, no matter which part of the mission experience you are involved in just now that Jenny the LDS mission coach is thinking about you every single day.

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Hey! I'm Jennie - The LDS Mission Coach.

Preparing for, serving and coming home from an LDS Mission can present countless changes and transitions. I’ve seen these changes put missionaries at the mercy of their emotions and questioning their abilities. With the tools I teach, young adults empower themselves to navigate every moment of the mission experience with epic, unwavering confidence.

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