24. Abundance Mindset

0:00 Hey, what’s up everyone? It’s Jennie, the LDS mission coach and you are listening to the LDS mission Podcast, episode number 24 abundance mindset. I’m Jennie, the LDS mission coach. And whether you’re preparing to serve a mission, currently serving a returned missionary or a missionary mama like me, I created this podcast just for you. Are you searching for epic confidence? Ready to love yourself and to learn the how of doing hard things? Then let’s go. I will help you step powerfully into your potential and never question your purpose. Again. It’s time to embrace yourself. Embrace your mission, embrace your life, and embrace what’s next. Hello, friends. And thank you for joining me today on this fine Friday. Once this podcast comes out, it will be the day after Thanksgiving. And I don’t know if you can believe it. I sure can’t believe it that the time is going as quickly as it has what on earth happened to November. I hope that you got to have lots of yummy Turkey. I hope that you got to spend time with family and maybe extended family. For some of us maybe it’s been a long time since we’ve done that I know that this is my son’s first Thanksgiving home from the mission. Now if you’re on the mission, I am sending you so much love wherever you are throughout the world. I sure hope that a really kind family member family took you under their wing, and fed you all of the yummy treats all of the yummy pie. I don’t know pumpkin pie. Are you guys a fan I’m not. I’m not a fan. I like pumpkin flavored stuff, but not pumpkin pie. At any rate, I hope that you got all the pie that you wanted all the turkey all the stuffing, all the mashed potatoes, all the roles that you wanted, and that your Thanksgiving was really enjoyable. If you are like my family at all, you might have some traditions about things that you eat. And maybe also some traditions about what you do around Thanksgiving. Usually we put Christmas up actually the weekend of thanksgiving. But since we’re going to be out of town, we put it up already a little bit before so that it’s just ready when we get home. Another tradition My family has is we actually go around the table and each of us say what we’re grateful for. I know this is probably not a very novel tradition. I’m sure none of you are like what I’ve never heard of that. I’m guessing many of you do this. But since we’ve all been thinking about what we’re grateful for. I wanted to on the date, after Thanksgiving, maybe help us all take our gratitude to the next level. What’s the next level up from gratitude. And what I want to offer to you today is that the next level up from gratitude is abundance. And we’re going to talk all about abundance today. And the reason I want to talk about abundance is because it just feels so good to feel abundant. Now, our brain, our lower brain is always looking for what is lacking. It’s actually really normal for our brains to desire something different in the future. And I think our brains were hardwired this way, I actually think Heavenly Father gave us this part of our brain. Because that way we would always want to be seeking growth, more learning more change, and expanding ourselves as often as possible. But if we’re not careful, sometimes those same brains start to think that the things that we’ll get in the future, whatever that might be, will be the thing that brings us happiness. And this is where we can sort of get into an idea of the opposite of abundance, which might be scarcity, or lack.

4:33 But the thing that we have the things that you have right now, the things that you’ll have in the future never bring us happiness. Remember, happiness is an emotion that’s created with our thinking. Thoughts, create feelings, remember? So this is just good to know because instead of focusing on the future and what we want, and feeling lack because we don’t have it We can just focus on the now and be completely abundant for what we have now. So there’s a subtle difference, I think, between gratitude, and abundance. And I’m getting give you an example, or two that might help you understand this. And of course, you are allowed to think about this however you want. But this is a way that I like to think about it, that maybe will help you. I think gratitude is being grateful for what we have. So when we’re going around the Thanksgiving table, I’m saying, I’m grateful for my husband, I’m grateful for my children. I’m grateful for the gospel, I’m grateful for my savior, all of these things that I’m grateful for. But what I think is different about abundance is that not only are we grateful for it, but we’re actually wanting what we have, at the Thanksgiving dinner table, I will probably say, I am grateful for my husband. But notice, there’s a big difference between I am grateful for my husband, versus I want to be married to my husband. Here’s another example. Instead of just, I’m grateful to be helping missionaries prepare for their missions. Versus I want to be helping missionaries get ready for their missions. So it’s just a subtle difference as I was thinking about it. Gratitude is of course, an emotion and gratitude feels really good to feel. But when I was thinking about abundance, it’s like abundance is so full, and abundance almost is infused with love. And maybe that’s one of the reasons it feels so good to feel it. So I have a couple key points I want to share with you that I’ve been thinking about for abundance, and you might have tons more. But these are kind of three key definitions, let’s say of abundance. Number one, it’s wanting what you already have. Number two, it’s knowing that you’ll never need more than you have right in this very moment. And number three, that there will always be more than enough. So why is the feeling of abundance so powerful? I think it just feels so good. It feels free and it feels open and it feels devoid of pressure or urgency. Whereas the opposite of abundance, maybe scarcity or lack, it feels yucky. We start to get kind of grasp be and pressure filled, we start to look for all of the reasons our lives aren’t good right now, thinking that somehow our lives will be better in the future. We spend a lot of our lives just waiting to get to that future moment. Abundance, I think is very present centered. So these are some thoughts that might create abundance. I want what I have. Doesn’t that feel good? I want what I have right now. And sometimes that means things are really good. And sometimes that means things are really hard. But when we can say I want what I have that is abundant, it’s overflowing, it’s full, it feels really good. Another thought, I’ll never need any more than what I have right now. See how that’s different than just like I’m grateful for what I have.

9:06 Which is important. But I’ll never need anything else more than what I have right now. Another thought that creates abundance is I will never need to be any more than I am right now. So our brains are still gonna want to look to the future, they’re still gonna look for opportunities for us to grow. And for us to move forward and to create something different in the future. I think again, like Heavenly Father gave us this part of our brains, but I love this idea of wanting from abundance rather than scarcity or lack. It’s just so much more fun. Because we don’t rely on the thing in the future the thing that we want to make us happy. One example I have of this is my My husband and I, we’ve been in our home for 17 years. He owns a construction company where they build residential homes. So every once in a while, we kind of get this bee in her bonnet. And we’re like, maybe we want to move, maybe we’re ready for a change, maybe we want a new house, especially Truthfully, when I walk through some of the beautiful models that he’s put together with all the new finishes and all the new stuff and the new carpets and the new smell, I find my brain going to like we should have this and we don’t that slack. But when I can get to abundance, when I get back to my own house, and I decide, wait, I want this house that I have right now, I’ll never need any more than this house. That feels amazing, because then we can want a new house in the future maybe. But we don’t need the new house to feel good. We don’t need the new house to feel happy. And we know that that stuff can’t create happiness anyway. There’s no more pressure, there’s no more stress to get to that future place. Instead, it’s just fun. It’s fun to create something new in your future. When we come from abundance, I want to talk about a few of the areas where in my life, I’ve noticed myself in scarcity or lack mindset. So one of them is time, time, this is a tough one for me, you can ask my coach, my one on one coach, she’ll be like, Why don’t we try this thing? And that was like, because I don’t have enough time, it’s usually always my default answer. So this one I have to really work on with my brain to get to abundance with time. The second one is opportunity. Sometimes we see this one, there’s only one job available. Or maybe there’s only one spot on the basketball team, or only a first chair in our orchestra, or only three spots left on the varsity wrestling team, whatever it is, we sometimes experience lack when it comes to our opportunities. Sometimes we also experience lack when it comes to love. And what I mean by this is the love that maybe other people have for us. So one of the examples I have for you of this is my daughter who’s in fourth grade. It’s so interesting to me how often she comes home, and she’s worried about her friend that maybe spent more time with another friend than she did with her. She’s worried that she’s not getting enough friendship or enough love from the one friend that is scarcity or lack. Because she’s worried there might not be enough love to go around.

13:04 Another place I’ve seen lack is sometimes in our efforts. And this is the way that we judge ourselves when we aren’t behaving the way that we think we should. Or we’re not keeping up on the habits that we think we should like reading our scriptures or going to the temple or getting up on time. Sometimes we have lack and scarcity there. And the other area, I want to share with you that sometimes we have lack, and I’m sure there are more. But is in our circumstances, were three things maybe just aren’t going the way that we want them to. Maybe it’s where you live, maybe it’s your job, maybe it’s your roommate, maybe it’s your companion, we just sort of think, well, when this is done, I’ll be happy. I want to illustrate a couple ways to think about these certain areas where we find luck. One of the thoughts I like to default to for time is I will always have enough time. And again, I have to manage my brain really rigorously around this. Because my brain just wants to default to the problems, wants to look to the lack wants to look to the scarcity, so I have to be on to myself. I always have enough time. When it comes to opportunities, we can tap into abundance. When we think of thought like there’s room enough for everyone to get exactly what they want in this life. When it comes to love and the love that other people have for us. We can tap into abundance when we think of that, like I will never need any more people to love me than the people who love me right now. Doesn’t that feel good to think that way? And when it comes to our efforts, when we experience lack in our efforts and in our habits, we can think to ourselves I was, I never need to be any more than I am right now. When it comes to our circumstances, we can tap into abundance when we can think about like, I create happiness with my thinking, and I want to experience happiness. Now, I love where I am right now. And again, that doesn’t always mean that it’s easy or fun. We actually take it to the next level, when we want things that our brain even kind of tells us that maybe we don’t want, I have started to think actually, maybe I want the dirty laundry. Crazy, right? My brain is like, No, you don’t, it’s so much work. And it’s never ending. But I want the dirty laundry because it means that I have a family and that I have children, and that I live a full life where my children are involved in activities, and I have money at all, to buy clothes in the first place. Another example, I want the dirty dishes. And my brains like no, you don’t, you don’t want those. But abundance is like and I want them those dirty dishes, because they represent that we have food to eat. This is the next level, right? Even when things are challenging, even when circumstances aren’t the way we think we want them to be. Or our brains are like this is a problem. We can want that too. The other example I have of this is sometimes especially during this time of year, if you’re trying to get a package off to your missionary or any other person in the country, for that matter, any other family member, we’re like, we don’t want to stand in line at the post office or at the UPS store. And yet abundance sounds like this. Of course, I want that I want to stand in line at the post office because I that’s the only way that I can get this package to my son who’s serving on a mission. And by the way, isn’t it a miracle that we can send stuff through these metal objects that fly through the air? What is that? Isn’t that an incredible world that we live in, I’m so willing to stand in that line at the post office. I don’t need it to be any different than it is right now. This is how abundance works, you guys, it’s more than just being grateful that we have a post office are grateful that we have money to buy packages to send to our missionaries. It’s like no, I want all of it.

17:41 I’ve shared with you a couple examples of how I’ve seen abundance work in my life and what it kind of sounds like and what it kind of feels like. And so I want to offer maybe some things that you might be going through, so that you can see how this might apply to your life as well. And I’m going to share an example with you. And then I’m going to read to again, kind of the three key points of abundance so that you can really think about it and start to play with maybe you want to move from just being grateful for these things, to actually feeling completely abundant about these things. So let’s take the mission, for example. We might have some scarcity thoughts and lack thoughts like we aren’t doing enough. We’re not teaching enough people. We’re not good enough. We’re not good enough missionaries, all of these kinds of things. And I just want to offer to you. Maybe you could want what you already have right now. Maybe you could know that you’ll never need anything more than what you have, right in this moment on your mission. Maybe you could believe that there will always be more than enough. More than enough time, more than enough opportunity more than enough love. So what about college? Some scarcity and lack mindset might be that we aren’t just living up to the kind of student that we want to be that we just will be fine after we graduate that it’ll be so much better. The end feels so far away. All of these are scarcity and lack mindset. But can you switch it just a little bit and decide that you want what you have right now? Can you believe that you’re getting an education? What kind of miraculous world do we live in where we can get an education? Maybe you can tap into knowing that you’ll never need anything more than you have right now in this moment with your college education. Maybe you can tap into that there will always be more than enough. More opportunities to learn more more opportunities to grow more time that there will always be more than enough for everyone. What about dating? Okay, maybe we’re not married, maybe we’ve had our heartbroken a couple of times even. Maybe we’re just concerned that we’ll never get married, this would be kind of scarcity and lack mindset. But can we tap into abundance? Can we want what we already have? Which is okay, so maybe I’ve been heartbroken a couple of times. That’s okay, too, because I know that that’s leading me to what I want in the future. And I want that to, can you tap into knowing that you’ll never need anything more than you have right in this moment? Can you tap into with dating that there will always be more than enough time, opportunity and love. We don’t have to hurry. We don’t have to hustle. We don’t have to manipulate. You don’t have to stress me scarce and frantic. There will always be more than enough time. And more than enough opportunities. And more than enough love. I want to share a couple abundance practice ideas with you. One of the things I like to do with my clients is, you could make a list of 20 things that you want, that you already have right now. So this is kind of like some of the examples I’ve given you already. I want my dirty laundry, I want to stand in line at the post office. And what other things can you put on that list that you already have? Number two, make a list of things that you already are all of us, right? Because we look to the future. And then we live in this area of where we’re not yet. And instead make a list of things that you already are. We already know what you want to be better at. But what are you already, you’re probably already compassionate, loving, kind, giving. Number three, I love coming back to the present moment. And being in complete awe of what I have. It sounds like I seriously can’t believe my life.

22:21 I was working with a client and he was telling me how he got a little bit anxious when he went to his job working at Sonic. Because of this anxiety that he felt when he went to Sonic. He didn’t like going to work and it was actually really a challenge for him. And so I just one time in our session, I was like listen, Isn’t it incredible? That you work at a place where they can make ice cream? In moments? Is it an incredible that people can drive up and push a button, a red button? And then moments later, a slushy can show up at your car? Like what kind of crazy world do we live in? We can keep the ice cream cold. And we can make Sonic plus, like what is this life even Can you even believe your life? It was like wow. I never thought about it that way before. Then he was able to tap into abundance. Not just like, I’m grateful that I have a job at Sonic but I can’t even believe my life and that I get to work here and that I get to earn money. And I get to put that money towards my college education. What kind of amazing life am I living? When I was preparing this podcast, this scripture came to mind. Its Doctrine and Covenants, section 104 Verse 17, for the earth is full, and there is enough and to spare. I love that. There’s more than enough time. There’s more than enough opportunity. And there’s more than enough love to go around. And then I love the second part of this verse where he says, I prepared all these things. I love that because listen, the greatest abundance is knowing that Heavenly Father is in charge. And we’re down here doing the best we can and Jesus Christ made up for all of it. So sometimes when I get into lack, like I’m not good enough, or I’m not doing well enough, or this isn’t good enough. I’m like wait, but Jesus Christ made up for all of it, right? Like, that’s the ultimate abundance. It says I have prepared all things meaning it’s all set up you guys because the rest of the verse says So I’ve given unto the children and men to be agents unto themselves. He’s telling us, it’s all set up, it’s prepared for you, the Atonement is done. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have got us. And we will always be enough. Because they’re always enough. I wanted to share this last experience of when I was walking my daughter up to school this week. And I really was able to tap into this abundance. So sometimes I’m like rushing out the door, and I’m trying to get her off, off to school, and I’m walking up there, and it’s freezing cold now. And I just kind of grin and bear it and walk her up. And she’s talking, talking, talking, talking. And I’m like, I’ve just got to get back, I’ve got work to get done, I got to, you know, put a load of laundry and all the things. And we have this little path that goes up to the school and I kind of dropped her off about midway up the path, and then kind of watch her walk the rest of the way up to the school into the playground. I just had one of these moments where she turned and she walked away. And in that moment, when she turned around, and she waved to me. And by the way, she likes to wave probably six or seven times, she’ll walk a few steps and turn around and wave. She’s in fourth grade. But she’ll turn around and wave and turn around and wave and turn around and wave. And I just had this moment, instead of being like, I’m not where I need to be, I’m not getting the things done, I need to do. I’m not enough. I’m not doing good enough. I tapped into abundance. And I was like, I can’t believe my life right now. Look at how amazing my life is that I get a walk my daughter to school that she has a coat that keeps her warm, that she has an umbrella that she has some little cute Nike shoes to keep her feet warm. And that she loves me enough to look back and wave to me seven times before she gets up to the playground. It was a moment where I wanted what I already had. I didn’t need her to grow up. I didn’t need her to change.

27:24 It was knowing in that moment that I would never need anything more than what I had right then. And it was knowing that there would always be more than enough more than enough time. More than enough opportunity. And more than enough love. All right, you guys. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Happy Thanksgiving. Move from gratitude to abundance, just because it feels so good. We’ll talk to you next week. Take care. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast today. If you want to learn more about the mental and emotional tools I teach young adults so they can overcome worrying anxiety serve the successful missions they’ve always dreamed of, and navigate their post mission experience with confidence. Go to Jennie dildine.com. Or just come hang out with me on Instagram at Jennie dot, the LDS mission coach. And until then, remember, no matter which part of the mission experience that you’re involved in Jennie, the LDS mission coach is thinking about you every single day