41. All About Me

0:00 Hey, what’s up everyone? It’s Jenny, the LDS mission coach and you’re listening to the LDS mission Podcast, episode number 41. All about me. I’m Jenny, the LDS mission coach. And whether you’re preparing to serve a mission, currently serving a returned missionary or a missionary mama like me, I created this podcast just for you. Are you searching for epic confidence? Ready to love yourself and to learn the how of doing hard things? Then let’s go. I will help you step powerfully into your potential and never question your purpose. Again. It’s time to embrace yourself. Embrace your mission. Embrace your life, and embrace what’s next. Hey, everyone, welcome to the podcast. I’m super excited because today is my birthday. Happy birthday to me. Yes, I was born on April Fool’s Day. I was actually born the year that the Teton Dam broke in eastern Idaho. My dad’s parents lived in Idaho Falls and they were actually up for my baby blessing when the Teton Dam broke, so they weren’t there. But came back to lots of craziness if you’ve seen any pictures, what I wanted to do today is I just wanted to tell you a little bit about myself, I’ve got lots of fun things to share with you a couple fond memories, I just that some of you have been listening for quite a little while and I’ve not met many of you in person. So I wanted to give you a little taste of who I am and what I’m into and my personality. So I just wanted to share a few things with you to celebrate my birthday today. So a couple things you should know about me is that I am obsessed with Amazon. And any sort of grocery delivery like as often as possible, I think I was done in with all of my years of taking all of my kids to the grocery store, and to Walmart to buy all of our cleaning supplies. All of our groceries you can imagine and anyone who’s my age, can remember the days when we used to have to pile all five kids into the shopping cart and are walking next to the shopping cart and take them to Walmart to buy groceries with a crying baby, and all of that good stuff. So I did all of my time. years. And then I did grocery pickup for a while but Amazon is just so much better. So I love Amazon so much. My favorite dessert would actually be crumble cookies. Well I can say crumble specifically, I just get a hankering for cookies. My favorite thing probably dessert is cookies of all kinds. Have you ever been to Levain bakery in New York City? Best Cookies, any kind of cookie will do. I actually love music of all kinds. I’ve grown up singing my whole life I belong to acquire. So that is fun. I belong to the millennial choirs and orchestras. I’ve had the opportunity to perform at Carnegie Hall with them, which is an experience of a lifetime. I’ve sung in musicals. I love the musical Hamilton. What was funny about Hamilton is it had so much hype and kind of being a little bit rebellious against everyone that was so into it. I just decided I was like, Well, I’m gonna see for myself, I’m not gonna listen to the music. I’m not going to do any of that. And then I think my husband finally got us tickets. This was way pre COVID to go see Hamilton in I think it was San Francisco where I saw it the first time. And I was one of the ones at the end. He was like standing like standing ovation, like crying my eyes out. And so we listen to Hamilton quite regularly around here. In fact, most of my kids have every single word of Hamilton memorize every word and some of them go pretty fast if you know what I’m talking about, but they know it all. I love watching Avengers movies. And actually, any movie I’ve been watching movies from a young age as well. My dad was into cinema. I used to watch the academy awards every year. I don’t watch as much now but I just have always loved movies and films. I love all the old school films. When I was little I used to be afraid to watch the Wizard of Oz.

4:58 Like I remember or when the wicked witch would come on the screen when we were watching it at Grandma’s house or whatever, I would go in the other room and then come back for all the other good parts. I can watch Wizard of Oz now, though, and it’s actually one of my favorites. I

5:15 love Downton Abbey. I’m rewatching the whole series again right now, because they’re also coming out with a movie. This summer, I think in May, our family all has Minkee couture blankets. So shout out to the Minkee stored in Draper. And wherever else you can get them in key blankets, one of my favorite soft to cuddle up. I actually really love the ocean. I just there’s something about it, right? There’s something calming about those waves, about the scenery. I grew up in Seattle. And so we would go to the ocean there. But it’s not the same as like going to an ocean that’s really warm, I actually would maybe prefer a tropical ocean over something like Seattle. I’ve actually never made it over to the East Coast. I’ve gone up like to the northeast, but not to the East Coast like North Carolina, South Carolina beaches. I’ve also done Florida. Which brings me to another thing that I really love and our family really loves is Disney. Disney just knows how to do it right? Am I right? They really just do. I love the magic there. And we go as much as we can to Disneyland or Disney World. When I am walking around my house, you will usually see me in Chacos. They are just like my go to shoe all the time, unless it’s super cold. And then I just put on some fuzzy socks. But most of the time, I’m wearing tacos. I was into photography for a little bit actually, I actually had a business for a minute, where I took pictures of families and I really enjoyed that I am a visual person. So I loved photography. I loved working with people. It was about the time that I decided that I wanted to be a life coach, I actually kind of shut down my photography, business. But photography has been a passion of mine, hobby of mine since high school, I took my first photography class, as a senior, I think in high school, black and white photography. And many of you who’ve done photography know, like we had to actually develop the film. And you have to do it in the pitch black that didn’t go well a few times. And then going into the dark room where you know, which is usually the part you see in the movies, right where they put the pictures into all the different solutions and the image comes up. I actually really, really loved that. I have five kids, my oldest served a mission in Louisiana. And he actually ended up getting married last summer to a girl who served a mission in the Canada Toronto mission. So that was fun. My second oldest son, I think I talked about him on the podcast a little bit last week. He served a mission in Australia for seven months, very challenging, came home for five due to COVID. And then went back out to serve in the New Hampshire Manchester mission, which he absolutely adored. My next son’s a junior in high school. He plays in the band he plays in the jazz band. He wants to go to flight school after he graduates from high school. Great kid. And then I have a daughter who’s a freshman in high school. And a daughter, our baby is 10. So the way it worked for me, a lot of people are on the two year plan kids two years, two years, two years, two years for me. I had the first two two years apart, and then three years apart, and then four years apart. And then my last two are almost five years apart. So there you go. I am a certified life coach. I certified through the Life Coach School in 2019. I started getting into life coaching and I think I’ve maybe mentioned this here on the podcast before but when my oldest son went on his mission, I actually just didn’t know kind of what hit me. I missed him so much. I was swimming in emotions. I didn’t know who I was. I was like, the same year my youngest actually started kindergarten. And so I was starting to feel like oh gosh, I’ve been bringing kids into the world and now all of a sudden they’re starting to leave and I just was really struggling and my husband one time when I was crying in the bathroom like I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what I want to do. He just said something like, maybe you should hire a life coach. not even really knowing what that meant. So that moment I went and I Googled life coach and I found Jody Moore’s podcast who since become one of my mentors, I also work in her program be bold as a coach in there. And my life changed in moments just listening to the tools that she teach is on there and tools that she learned from Brooke Castillo at The Life Coach School. And I just kind of went on this journey, and then decided that I could really make a difference in the world for missionaries, for return missionaries for missionary moms, by teaching them these tools as well. A few fun facts about me is I’ve never been stung by a bee. So that’s kind of crazy, right? And I can sing the ABCs, backwards, z, y x and WV ot SNR QP, lm n and LK, j, i, h, g and f ed and CBA. I can thank My great grandpa Swanson for that. I’ve also completed some advanced certification and faith based coaching tools. In 2020. I went through a course to do that. And it really has powerfully equipped me to help missionaries because sometimes when our emotions are intertwined with what’s going on for us spiritually it can be it can present even more challenges. And so, I have loved being able to work with missionaries in this way. Guys, I don’t like scary things. I don’t like scary rides. I don’t like scary movies. That’s why Disney is just about my speed. So I like the Haunted Mansion at Disney. But I have this really I think I told the story clear back at the beginning of the podcast, where I went on a haunted mansion or on a haunted house right at the Puyallup Fair, which is where I grew up in pure wallop. Washington. My friends had told me you got to go on this ride. You got to go on the haunted house. And I was like it can it can. I was too scared. And finally I did. And guess what? I closed my eyes through the whole ride. My date didn’t even know. Anyway, there’s another funny story about that is one time when I was home from college, I went out with a guy. And he took me to see a scary movie. And I literally closed my eyes through the whole thing.

12:24 If he knew he must have known, I mean, but I guess you don’t always look over and see what the other person is doing. Anyway, I was definitely had my eyes closed over most of it. I love history, and I love historical buildings. I might have gotten some of that from my mom. My mom actually is an avid family history. person growing up, I remember going in and she was doing family history in her office. My kids come in and see me coaching and creating content for all of you. When I was growing up, I would go in and I would see my mom working for our ancestors. And that’s a really cool thing. My dad is a dentist, and while he was a dentist, he’s a retired dentist now he loves traveling and I think I got some of my travel bug from him. I haven’t traveled very far. You know, I’ve been in the United States, a lot of places seen a lot of things around there. I have been to Mexico, I’ve been to Canada. I’ve never been to Europe, and my husband and I kind of had a goal to go to Europe for our 20 year anniversary. But we didn’t make it because of COVID. And we’ll get there at some point. But yeah, I do like traveling. I also on the other hand, really do like comfort and I like things sort of the same. For instance, my husband and I, every single Friday we go and we get Mexican food. Always, every single week, and it might be on a Saturday. But we don’t have to figure out where are we going to eat or we’re going to try this new thing or whatever. We just go. We chat and we eat Mexican. One of my very favorite things. Next to cookies. I met my husband at BYU. We met the first weekend right before school started at a ward prayer. He had recently returned from his mission, the Mexico Guadalajara mission. And it was funny because when he came up to me, he said, Hello, my name is Mike. They live with his Spanish accent and I was like oh, okay, so nice to meet you. I actually just recently pulled because I’ve got both of my boys mission plaques here in my office is kind of inspiration. And I recently went and got my husband’s mission plaque so my kids have gotten quite a kick out of that out have seen his picture from when he was a senior in high school. One funny story is one of the reasons my husband fell in love with me as because we were kind of at a. We were in the same family home evening group and we had gone to a park that night kind of hanging out. I don’t remember we were playing Ultimate Frisbee or something. Somehow I ended up that I started rapping,

15:20 coolly owes Gangster’s paradise, which my sisters and I know verbatim. So everyone thought that was so funny. It’s kind of you can see like my wanting to perform and be in front of people a little bit there. It was like as I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, that’s one of the reasons he fell in love with me. The other reason I think he fell in love with me is because he was the executive secretary. And so he would always be, I think it was like the sixth floor of the tanner building. Is there even a sixth floor or the fifth floor? Our bishops office was up there. And he was the executive secretary. So always on Tuesday evenings, I believe it was he would be up there. And it would be the same day as I had culinary class. I mean, back then I think they just called it cooking. I would always take him some dinner. And so I think I found a way to his heart through his stomach is one thing we always kind of joke about, really my husband. We’re made for each other. I know that that sounds really cheesy, but I’m super in love with him. We have an amazing marriage. And I’m so lucky that he is part of my life. I just Googled a couple questions like get to know you questions and a couple of fun ones came up what’s your favorite recent memory? One of my favorite memories, honestly, you guys, which is gonna sound crazy, but was COVID quarantine. Those five months when my son came home from his mission were like a beautiful time in our lives that I didn’t think we were gonna have. I figured once my oldest son left on his mission, that everyone would just get married and keep leaving and never come back. And it wasn’t easy. We all actually got COVID pretty early. We got COVID That summer, the first summer in July. It was scary back when we didn’t know that much about it. And it was lonely, but we really had to have each other’s back. And we really had to take care of each other and be there for each other. We started doing these Thursday theme nights where we would dress up each theme. I think I still have all of them on my Instagram highlight on our family. And you can see we were dressed up we had a high school musical day we had a Hawaiian day we had a jazz basketball day. And we would fix the food and get the costuming we had a Western day. Really all of us really, really treasure that time. And love that those extra five months unexpected gift that we got to really build those relationships with one another. It said what is one of your best childhood memories. I remember growing up in the summer and just running through the sprinkler making mud pies and playing in the goalie and making forts in our backyard. The goalie behind that house that I spent the first little bit of my life in isn’t there anymore because now there’s an LDS church building there and pew all up. But we had a lot of fun. I have two younger sisters. And so it was just us three girls and my mom and dad. There was some, you know, fighting like siblings do especially sisters from time to time, but my sisters now are some of my very, very best friends and, and I will say that we have grown really strong together over the years. So I love them very much. Oh one other fun memory I want to share with you is I remember my fifth birthday when I was young, probably the best because I started blowing out my candles and my mom took a towel and started hitting me with the towel. And I was like and I started crying and turns out that my hair had come down, touch the candle and lit on fire. And so my mom was hitting me with the towel but we kind of always joke about that that I just had no idea what was going on. My favorite month of the year is May because it means we made it through the winter. And that spring is actually here and we’re headed straight into summer. My oldest daughter the freshman her middle name is actually Mei and it’s not spelled ma e like some traditionally spell it is spelled m a why? Because that is my favorite month of the year. I guess the last thing that I want to wrap up with here is just telling you that I went through a whole bunch of years where I did not really like myself that much

20:01 I wish that I could be better, prettier, nicer, I wished I could keep my house cleaner. I wish that I didn’t get frustrated with my kids. I’ve actually struggled a little bit from time to time with anxiety. I’ve had a handful of panic attacks over the years, I used to judge myself very, very harshly for all of these things. I worry like you do. When I go into groups, what people will think about me, I understand now that I have a human brain when I even just sometimes go to sacrament meeting my brains, like What is everyone going to think about you they’re gonna think this and they’re gonna think coaching is crazy or whatever. And I really have to redirect my brain. I use my coaching tools, you guys on myself, I’m my first client and I have to tell myself, okay, brain, calm down. It doesn’t matter what they think about me, what do I want to think about them? I’ll never forget, when I went to a coaching event, it was an in person event. And it was when I was pretty new to coaching before I had even like considered becoming a life coach myself, it was more like I was going to get help with my own life. I remember, the person said, the level to which you are willing to feel uncomfortable is exactly proportionate to the amount of success you will feel. And man that hit me honestly, like a ton of bricks, because I lived my whole life trying to avoid my feelings, trying to stuff down my feelings try to like, avoid who I was, because I didn’t like who I was most of the time. And that’s okay. Like, this is just what our brain does. But I’ve really come so far, in my relationship with me. On here, I tell you guys about how a relationship is just the thoughts that you have about someone else. But your relationship with you is the thoughts you have about you. I used to have thoughts like I should stick to my calendar more, I shouldn’t be a better mom, I shouldn’t be better at the laundry, I should work out more I should. I should. I should. I should. I should. I used to think something was wrong with me. When I felt anxious. Or when I felt discouraged. I used to think something was wrong with me that I didn’t want to go on the haunted house or used to think something was wrong with me when I didn’t feel as brave or as courageous as everyone else seemed to feel. But now I understand that nothing was ever wrong with me that I’m a human. And I have a human brain. And I have human emotions. And I’m living a human earthly experience. And it’s all awesome. I understand now that I don’t have to be at the mercy of my life that I get to create whatever I want to. And I can do it. However I want to I don’t have to do it someone else’s way. I get to create in my way. And it’s actually one of our biggest gifts that I think Heavenly Father has given us is creation. And not just like creation, like we think of Oh, yeah, babies, you’ve had five children, but creation in the way that I get to get up in the morning and create whatever I want. I think about it first. It creates a feeling in me that motivation or that desire or that love and then I go to work making it a reality in my life. And I know that I’m in charge of myself, and in charge of creating the life that I want. Every day I’m learning to like myself. And I work on it every single day because my brain will always come online. What about this? What about this? Remember, it likes to point out negativity. But I really am to the point where I’ve become the compassionate observer of myself. Every day. I like myself even when I don’t like myself. I’ve learned to love all the parts of me even the parts of me that I sort of wish were different.

24:35 That’s okay, that’s me being human. And I love that part of me too. Anyway, thanks for listening. Thanks for indulging me and kind of walking down memory lane. I hope you’ve learned a couple fun things, a couple new things about me. And happy birthday to me. And today on my birthday. Here’s to each one of you. And each one of us creating more love, acceptance compassion and grace for ourselves every single day and leaning into the amazing humans. We just all are. All right. Sending you guys so much love. I hope you have the most amazing week. Take care. Thanks so much for joining me on the podcast today. Listen, if you are learning a lot from this podcast and you like what you’re hearing, you will absolutely love hopping on a free strategy call with me. That’s where you and I meet up one on one and talk specifically about what is going on for you. I love teaching young adults the mental and emotional tools that they need to overcome orient anxiety, serve the successful missions they’ve always dreamed of and navigate their post mission experience with confidence. So go to Jennie dildine.com, and click on the work with me link. I would love to meet you. And I would love to get you some helpful tools and strategies to help you fully embrace whatever is next for you. And in the meantime, no matter which part of the mission experience you’re involved in. Just know that Jenny the LDS mission coach is thinking about you every single day