Many times, when we feel unsettled or bored or challenged, we think we need to change courses, or change paths. And you can. But, before you change your major, or your job, or your apartment, or the person you are dating… there a few things that you’ll want to keep in mind.
In this episode you’ll learn:
•How to know if you are changing paths for the “right” reasons.
•The best process to decide if it’s time to make a change.
•The one thing that all humans are seeking.
If you are tired of major hopping, or hobby hopping, or job hopping, OR if you are making a big decision soon, this podcast is absolutely for you.
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0:00 Hey, what’s up everyone, it’s Jennie Dildine, the LDS mission coach and you’re listening to the LDS mission Podcast, episode number 47. Before you change your major I’m Jenny, the LDS mission coach. And whether you’re preparing to serve a mission, currently serving a returned missionary or a missionary mama like me, I created this podcast just for you. Are you searching for epic confidence? Ready to love yourself and to learn the how of doing hard things? Then let’s go. I will help you step powerfully into your potential and never question your purpose. Again. It’s time to embrace yourself. Embrace your mission, embrace your life, and embrace what’s next. Hey, everybody, and welcome to the podcast. I’m so excited to be with you here today. We got back from our trip in Orlando, we had the best time minus the fact that it was like 96 degrees. In Orlando, that day, one of the days we were at Disney World That is hot, my friends. Very, very hot. And then we came home and now my daughter’s sick. My youngest daughter. So that’s been kind of a bummer. But it does just kind of illustrate, I’ve just been thinking a lot about this duality that we experience as humans on this planet. It’s everywhere, everything from like light and dark day and night. Disney World with Del Webb, and puking over the toilet. Like there’s such contrast in our lives. And I think this is totally a side tangent and doesn’t have anything to do with what we’re talking about today. But one of the things that really gives us the most peace is when we can learn to accept that duality. I find missionaries have the most success when they can accept that duality, I find return missionaries find the most peace, the most assurance, rediscover their purpose when they understand the duality of what it is to be a human, that we have highs and lows, and that we have every thing in between. So I’m here for it. Are you guys? Are you here for it. It’s all good stuff all meant for our transformation and growth. So that’s just a little side tangent, something that’s been on my mind since my daughter got sick, I’m sure she’ll be turning a corner here shortly. Also,
2:45 I do want to let you know that I created the most awesome training for preparing missionaries. And you can find it right on my website, Jennie dildine.com. It is a free training and I call it the one tool that will change your mission. And I know that this one tool has the ability to completely change the way you see yourself. And the way you see your mission, the way you’ll see companions. And I want to just give it to you guys as a gift completely free. So I’m gonna link it in the show notes below this podcast also on the website show notes. So just make sure you go grab that because it literally I remember I taught this tool to a missionary when he was serving. And he was really really struggling about ready to throw in the towel and came home come home. And instead, I taught him this one tool and he was like wait, what? And his mission he did like a complete 180 So I kid you not you guys, this one tool has the ability to change the entire trajectory of your mission. If you are preparing missionary know this, the hardest part of the mission is not the door getting slammed in your face is definitely not that your shoes are going to wear out or that you ended up having to sleep on a mattress on the floor or that there’s going to be a cold shower or something like that. Definitely the most challenging part of the LDS mission is the mental and emotional piece. You are going to need mental and emotional tools. And that’s why I want to give you this one tool. It’s a short little video that you can watch that has the ability to change everything for you. So go to Jennie dildine.com. Or just click on the link in the show notes and I want to give that to you for completely free. I promise you want it don’t want to miss out on that. The other thing I want to mention here is super important for all of you guys to know is that I got an email this week Have someone who had seen like me on Facebook or something? And they said, do you work with early returned missionaries? And my answer was yes, I call myself the mission coach, not just because I get missionaries ready for their missions. But because I help with every aspect of the mission experience. I’ve actually worked with missionary moms, here’s the thing about an LDS mission is that it presents a very unique set of challenges. And that’s why we need a unique set of solutions. Something that just works for someone who’s never served a mission might not work for you, because of the way that the mission transforms us, because of the unique situation that we are in for those 18 months to two years, or however long it is that we serve. I like to think of myself as the coach for the entire mission experience. And I want to be here for you guys every step of the way. So please share this podcast. Even if you can just take a screenshot and share it on your story. I just want more people to know that there is help out there for preparing missionaries, currently serving missionaries, and returned missionaries, that transition home can be super challenging. And so I am totally equipped to do all of that as well. So again, please share, I want as many people as possible to get these tools and these resources. I don’t think there’s anything out there that empowers specifically missionaries, and returned missionaries and early returned missionaries, the way that I do. And so please share, please help me empower more missionaries, more preparing missionaries, more return missionaries, and you missionary moms too. I’m here for all of it.
7:02 So let’s move on to what I want to talk about today. And the title of this podcast is before you change your major. And this might apply a little bit more to someone who’s come home from their mission to someone who maybe isn’t going on a mission at all. And that’s totally fine. I think many of these principles can also apply while you’re on the mission, but I think they’re gonna be more specifically for the returned missionary, or someone who isn’t planning on going on a mission. Either way, take a listen, because not only are we talking about changing your major, but what this can also apply to is changing a hobby, changing your job, changing your apartment, changing the person you’re dating, and many other things where we make a decision, or we have this decision that we’re waiting to make a change in our lives. So there’s a few things that I want you to know, before you make a decision. There’s a lot of stuff that I see come up with my clients that I want to be able to kind of shine a little bit of a light on, so that you can see some of this stuff in your own actions and in your own behaviors and in your own feelings and thoughts. So that you can keep an eye out for it so that you can empower yourself to make decisions confidently and make those decisions and never looked back and never question yourself. Here’s the first thing is many of us worry that we might do it wrong. Our whole lives growing up in the church, especially the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we have sort of been taught that there’s a right and a wrong and we sing songs about this. We sing songs about this from primary, there’s a right way to live and be happy. Choose the right. And that’s all well and good in certain circumstances. But when it comes to making a decision, sometimes we apply this principle in a way that actually makes us less effective. So let’s take an example of what major we’re going to choose for our schooling. We put so much stock in choosing the quote unquote, right major or the major that we are supposed to pick or supposed to choose. We put so much stock in that that we actually kind of paralyze ourselves. We sort of believe that there’s a right major for us and a wrong major for us. Same with hobbies Same with jobs, that there’s a right hobby for us, or a wrong hobby for us or a right job for us, and a wrong job for us. Now, I don’t want to take away anything from the spirit, that of course, we’re going to always sort of do a little research, you know, pray about it, try to get some inspiration. But what I’m saying is when we sort of believe that there’s a right and a wrong way, in these specific decisions, it actually shuts us down. It causes confusion, it causes like paralyzation, which is not, by the way, a fruit of the Spirit. So how do we sort of combat this idea or this belief that we might do it wrong, that we might choose the wrong major or that there’s a right or a wrong apartment or a right or a wrong person to date? The way I like to think about this is I like to tell myself, Hey, listen, Jennie, you’re actually a creator. And so instead of, like picturing myself as to pass, one, let’s say major is a physics major. And one major is a math major. And these are two diverging paths. And I have to choose one, and one is going to be the right way. And one is going to be the wrong way. Instead of visualizing like that, I like to picture myself slowly creating the path, or laying the path stone by stone, as I go along. Like little bricks, I get to create the path. This is one of my most favorite ways to think about this, because Heavenly Father is a creator, and we get to create our path. It’s not like he’s necessarily up there going, Well, I hope they choose the right major.
12:00 He’s like, No, listen, I gave you the power to create. And you get to create whatever path you want, and whatever major you want. Now, sometimes he might stop us from creating that path if if there’s something terribly wrong, but I would say far and above and the majority of the time, we get to decide what we want to create. And it’s not an all or nothing a left or right path. It’s like, what do we want to make? What do we want to create in our lives? About a year ago, I decided I wanted to create a podcast. And so I did the work to get that done. I didn’t spend a lot of time worrying about what the name had to be or what the right equipment was, I was like, I’m gonna create that, I want to make that happen. So let’s go. I didn’t really worry much, whether it was the right or wrong decision, just understand and believe that you are Creator. The next thing I want to talk about with these decisions before you decide to change your major before you decide to take a different path or a different job. All we ever want is to feel something. All of us humans go around trying to feel feelings that feel good. And avoid feelings that don’t feel so good. And I’ve done many podcasts about why we need to feel our feelings and why it’s super important that we do that. But by and large, our lower human brain wants to avoid pain and seek pleasure also conserve energy. But here’s what we need to know is our brain thinks that one major, the physics major is going to make us happy. And maybe possibly, the math majors going to make a set or the dance major is going to make us happy. But the theater major is going to make us sad. It sort of separates them out and blames the way that we’re going to feel in the future on something outside of us. Now, if you’ve listened to anything I’ve taught on this podcast, you’ll know that your major or your hobby or your job or your apartment, or the person you’re dating, don’t create your feelings. Your feelings are created by a thought. So that decision whatever path you decide to take whatever major you decide to pursue, whatever person you decide to date. That decision in and of itself doesn’t make you happy. It doesn’t it’s always your thoughts that make you happy. So that’s just really good to know. And I’m gonna give you an example here in just a moment so that you can understand more specifically what I’m talking about. Here’s the other thing, I want you to know that our brain sort of believes that once we decide once we change our major, there’s no going back. It believes that once the decision is made, it’s set in stone, that it would be a waste of time to go back any other way. And that is just a thought that doesn’t serve you that won’t serve you. And that will just keep you stuck. what’s actually true guys is there are very few choices, there are very, very few things or decisions that are set in stone. Like forever set in stone. I can’t even think of one. Maybe, I don’t know, since we were just at Disney World, the only thing that comes to mind is if I get on a roller coaster, and that roller coaster starts going, it’s really hard to stop it and to get off. I mean, you still I guess potentially could. But most things are changeable, you can change your mind. So don’t believe your brain when it’s like, Oh, if we choose this, this is the end of the road for that there’s no going back. There’s always going back. So we don’t need to make these decisions, as heavy as they seem to be. The last thing I want to say is, we really spend so much time deciding
16:47 that we actually waste time just figuring it out, guess what the best way to figure out if you want to change your major to a math major and says a set of a physics major is to just change it and start going. Like I’m all for you doing a little bit of research of you trying to figure it out a little bit. But when we sit in this indecision for so long, we’re wasting the time that we could just go and try it and do it. I had this experience. I mean, Disney World is just on my mind. But we would do the mobile order anybody who doesn’t do mobile ordering for their food at Disney World or Disneyland, you’ve got to get on board with that. Because you don’t have to stand in a line, you just click it on your phone, it’s like a miracle. So we would just start to pass the phone around everybody like hey, why don’t you make your order, choose what you want to eat. And sometimes everyone would spend so much time just trying to decide what to eat that it would timeout. And then we’d lost our chance. And we everyone would have to re enter their order. When instead we can just be like, nope, choose that and go, we’re gonna eat again. It’s not like that is the last time that we ever get to eat again. So make sure you choose wisely. It’s like no, let’s just pick something, give it a go give it a try and start working towards it, then you’ll know after you eat the thing, after you eat the Mickey pretzel or whatever, you’ll know, Oh, that wasn’t maybe what I wanted. Maybe I’ll choose something different next time. But who doesn’t want to make a pretzel? I do pretty much every time. Pretty much whenever possible. Let’s go over these one more time, so that you guys can kind of have them in your brain. When we worry that we’re going to do it right or wrong. It doesn’t help. It actually paralyzes you. All humans ever want is to feel something. So just be aware that the thing itself can’t make you feel anything, the decision, the major the boyfriend, the apartment can’t make you feel anything you always create your feelings with your thoughts. You can always change your mind. There’s very, very few situations where you can’t change your mind again, even if you change your major, you can go back and change your major and people will say that’s a waste of time. But listen, it’s not. Because what have you learned in the meantime? Oh, I guess I don’t want to be a math major. Like I thought maybe I did. And just we waste so much time just in the deciding or being confused about it. So I say just pick something, use that time to figure it out and go. Okay, so I had one of my clients who came to me a couple of weeks ago and he was wanting to change his major. Now you can apply anything in here. If you’re thinking about like dating someone different if you’re thinking about moving apartments. I was talking into one client a while ago who was like, when I graduated, I moved to New York or move back home, you can put anything you want in this situation and sort of make it apply to yourself. Okay, so but this particular client, he was wanting to change his major. And so I was really curious about that. He wanted to change his major to a business major. And I was like, Oh, my gosh, that sounds awesome. Let’s do it. Why do you want to do it? And he said, I want to make great money. I want to provide well, for my family. I think if I’m a business major, it sounds really interesting. It sounds maybe not as stressful as my major right now. He said, I really think it’s sort of what I’m supposed to do. He said, I think I’ll probably be happier as a business major. He said, as a business major, I’m going to feel more freedom and flexibility. And he said, You know what, I just think it would be fun to be a business major. I said, Okay. And as
20:58 his coach, I just know that I got to kind of push them a little bit, and make sure he understands that he’s choosing it for a good reason, changing for a good reason. So I said, All right, well, what’s your major now? And I believe it was I would have to go back and listen to the recording, but I believe it was like biology or something. It was something in the medical field, he was thinking he wanted to go into the medical field. And I said, Oh, that’s pretty different. You, you want to just change to business? And he said, Yeah, I do. And again, for all of these reasons. So what we did on my Big East soul pad of paper on that call is we wrote at the top business major, and we wrote down all of the things that he had said, I’m going to make great money, I’m going to be able to provide well, for my family. It sounds very interesting. It won’t be as stressful is what I’m supposed to do. He said, I’ll be happier doing it, I’ll have more freedom and flexibility. And it would probably just be fun. And I was like, all right, but what I want to show you client is these are all thoughts. They’re not actually just true about a business major. They’re all thoughts. And then I took my Sharpie, and I scribbled out business major. And I wrote biology at the top. And he was like, Oh, these thoughts, that list of thoughts is entirely available to him. Whether he’s a business major, or whether he’s a biology major, totally possible, right? a biology major could make great money, provide well for the family be super interesting, could be not super stressful. It could also be what he’s supposed to do, he could be super happy as a biology major have freedom and flexibility. And it could be super fun. And I said, See, it actually doesn’t matter what you choose for your major. Because these, this list of thoughts is available, no matter what’s at the top. The thoughts that you have about your future job, are also available to you right now. It is an option for you to think those thoughts now and create those feelings now. Those feelings that you think you’re gonna have, when you live in a new apartment complex, aren’t created by the apartment complex. They’re created by your thinking. And those thoughts about that future apartment complex are available to now. You know, it’s so much easier than changing apartments is changing the way that you think about your apartment. Do you know it’s so much easier than changing your major changing the way that you think about your major. And listen, I’m all for you guys changing your major and changing your apartments. But I don’t want you to fool yourself into thinking that once I’m in that major or once I change apartments or once I’m dating someone else, then I’ll be happy. Because we just chase that for the rest of our lives. What’s true is you can be happy right now. You can be happy in the circumstances you’re in because your happiness comes from your thoughts. And so I did it a couple more times and then scribbled out biology and wrote business same list of thoughts scribbled out business wrote biology, same list of thoughts available. So you guys, it actually doesn’t even matter what you choose. So do a little research, figure out the options and then pick something and just go. I talked to a woman one time, in this other program that I coach in, it’s called Be bold, but God more. So I do some coaching in there. And I was talking to a woman who said that it was so hard for her to make decisions. And the reason was, is because she thought that the decision itself would create her feelings.
25:39 She didn’t fully understand that she is the creator of her feelings no matter what she decided. And she told me how she would spend hours on Amazon, researching a bedspread. Like hours and hours and days and days and days. And I asked her, I said, Listen, how would we know if you’d made the right decision? For the bedspread? She said, I don’t know. How would we know when I said you just decide that it is. You just decide this is the perfect bedspread. This is the perfect bedspread for me, you just decide. This, of course, is the major I was always supposed to have. Of course, this is the person I’m supposed to be dating. Of course, this is the apartment complex that I’m supposed to be in. And you just make that decision. There’s just no upside to believing that you’re in the wrong place, or with the wrong person, or in the wrong major. So here’s the question I have for you. This is what I asked myself, if you knew that you could be equally happy and equally successful, no matter which major you chose. And this is what I asked my client, business, or biology, if you knew for certain that you are the creator of your emotions, and you are the creator of your experience. But between just sounds more fun. And he said know what I think I want to change to business. And like sounds great. So just check yourself be on to your brain. Don’t believe it. When it tells you that when you change, you’ll be happier. You’re always the creator of your happiness. No matter what your major is, no matter what your hobby is, no matter what your job is, no matter where you live. No matter who you’re dating. You are the creator of your emotions, always. So go make some decisions, my friends, I hope you have the most amazing week. Take care. Thanks so much for joining me on the podcast today. Listen, if you are learning a lot from this podcast and you like what you’re hearing, you will absolutely love hopping on a free strategy call with me. That’s where you and I meet up one on one and talk specifically about what is going on for you. I love teaching young adults the mental and emotional tools that they need to overcome worry and anxiety serve the successful missions they’ve always dreamed of and navigate their post mission experience with confidence. So go to Jennie dildine.com, and click on the work with me link. I would love to meet you. And I would love to get you some helpful tools and strategies to help you fully embrace whatever is next for you. And in the meantime, no matter which part of the mission experience you are involved in. Just know that Jenny the LDS mission coach is thinking about you every single day.