57. Habits, Goals, Dreams

If you ever feel like you just aren’t making progress towards what you want, it might be useful to separate out your Habits, Goals and Dreams.

Many of my clients get these three things mixed up and it makes it really challenging for them to see where they are succeeding and how they are actually on the path that they want to be on.

Listen in to Learn:

•How to categorize the things that you want to accomplish in your life

•How each category as a stepping stone to what you want

•The strategy I use to help me figure out what my next step is

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0:00 Hey, what’s up everyone, it’s Jennie Dildine, the LDS mission coach and you are listening to the LDS mission Podcast, episode number 57. Habits, goals, dreams. I’m Jennie, the LDS mission coach. And whether you’re preparing to serve a mission, currently serving a returned missionary or a missionary mama like me, I created this podcast just for you. Are you searching for epic confidence? Ready to love yourself and to learn the how of doing hard things? Then let’s go. I will help you step powerfully into your potential and never question your purpose. Again. It’s time to embrace yourself. Embrace your mission, embrace your life, and embrace what’s next. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I love getting on here every single week. And just sharing a little bit of my life with you get a little bit of help out to currently serving, preparing and returned missionaries. I love the feedback that I’m getting from you on Facebook, on Instagram, to my email, thank you so much for all of your kind words, I love the reviews that people have left on this podcast. I would love for each of you to follow this podcast and to write a review for me. I first of all, just want the feedback. I would love to know how this is helping you what other podcast episodes you’d love to hear. As well as the more reviews and ratings that I get, the higher that this will go in the rankings. And, and I don’t care about that. Because it’s would be an ego stroke. To me, I care about that. Because the more people that know about this podcast, the more we can empower missionaries to create the exact mission experience that they want. The more we can empower return missionaries to transition home from the mission with confidence and without any loss of purpose. I feel like in the church for a long time, we’ve really focused on spiritual preparedness. Of course, like there’s that physical preparedness, but sometimes I do feel like we’re lacking a little bit and the way that we mentally and emotionally prepared our missionaries. I know that was true for me with my missionaries, I sort of was just like, Okay, everyone cross your fingers. I hope we did enough. I hope they learned enough. Because how do you prepare for something that you’ve never done before. One of the ways you can prepare for something that you’ve never done before, is you can create confidence in your ability to manage every situation that comes your way both on the mission and when you come home. And that is the stuff that empowerment is made of. That is the kind of stuff that will help you overcome any challenge in the mission or after. It’s pretty cool stuff. If you can’t tell, I get kind of passionate about it. I I just really, I love helping the missionaries. What can I say?

3:39 I wanted to talk today about Habits, goals and dreams. And the reason that this came up is because my daughter who’s going into her sophomore year of high school, decided that she was going to take an online fitness class. Now, the reason that she’s taking it online, and maybe some of you can relate to this, depending on where you live is it’s kind of hard to get Seminary in, and any sort of an elective like choir or band or orchestra or any sort of like art class. And also, she’s in Student Council. So and she wants to take a language, she’s actually going to do sign language, which is going to be really cool. But what’s challenging is to try to get all of your required credits, pe being one of them in the timeframe without taking like an early morning class or something like that a zero hour class. So what she said to me is, Hey, Mom, what if I just did online fitness during the summer? I’ll have to check in with the teacher every week. I’ll have to do some workout. So her and my younger daughter have been working out or going on walks every single day. When she went on track. She logged all of those hours that she was hiking and pushing a handcart anyway one of her assignments right as the class was getting started was it set a goal for something you want to accomplish by the time this class is over. And so what she kind of spewed out to me was an mom, it needs to be a SMART goal. It needs to be I hadn’t really heard of it taught this way. But it made sense to me. SMART stands for it’s an acronym for being specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and that it’s done within a certain timeframe. She was kind of getting a little confused about it. She’s like, I don’t know what this means, like, how do I set a goal? And I said, Well, just exactly like that. Like, I want to be able to do X amount of setups or X amount of push ups by this date, and you set an end date on it, or a timeframe. And my husband said something like, Well, I don’t know, you could just decide like, one of my goals is to work out every single day, six days a week. And I said, I beg to differ. To me, that is a habit. The other reason that I want to bring this up is because I run into this all the time with my returned missionaries, sometimes with my preparing missionaries as well, right. Maybe we have a goal, to read the Book of Mormon, by the time we leave on our mission. But we might also have a habit that will get us to that goal, which is to read, I don’t know, seven verses every day, or whatever it might be or, or a chapter and a half a day, whatever it is, right? So to me, they’re very different, a habit from a goal, what I told my daughter, and when I told my husband, it’s my opinion. And this is the way I like to think about it is that the habits are the steps which get us to the goal. And then those goals lead us to what we want in the future, which could be our dream. There’s a couple problems with mixing up habits and goals. And they’re very benign, it’s not a huge problem. But what happens is when we mix up a habit and a goal, we sort of set ourselves up to fail. Now every person in the world will say yes, I would love to work out six out of seven days a week. But how often do we actually do that? Pretty soon, we’re failing every single day. Let’s say we get sick, or let’s say that something comes up. Or let’s say we’re on vacation. No human is going to be effective in their habits 100% of the time, and I think that even the experts will say it just takes a small person, like, can we be 60% of the time doing the habits that we want to do, and it will still lead us to the result that we want in the end. So rather than setting yourself up, like I’m not achieving this goal,

8:27 I want you to think of it like I’m just gonna keep trying to create this habit, this habit that I’m forming is going to lead me to my goal, which should be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and in a time frame. So some habits that we might want to form our maybe we want to read our scriptures. Maybe we want to drink more water. Maybe we want to attend the temple. Maybe we want to go out to lunch with our roommate once a week. Maybe we want to have a date night with our fiance. These I want you to think of as habits, things that we want to get in a rhythm of doing. Some of the things that we might want to describe as goals and think of as goals are. I want to get a certain number of people to church on Sunday. Okay, maybe we want to get five people to church or we’re gonna find a certain amount of people by Friday on the mission. Maybe we have a goal of reading the Book of Mormon, like I mentioned before, before we leave on the mission. Maybe we have a goal of being a certain way by a certain date, maybe we have a goal to fit into a certain size jeans by a certain date. Okay, see how that can be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and isn’t a timeframe. And how these habits, they build upon each other, and lead to the goal. There’s this quote that says the only things worth doing are worth doing well. And I don’t really agree with this, the only things that are worth doing are still worth doing. Whether we do them well, or don’t do them well. So even imperfect habits can still get us towards the goal that we want, so long as we keep going. The last thing that I want to talk to you about is a cloud goal. And the way I think about a cloud goal, is it something that’s far off in the distance, we can see it like on the horizon. But like a cloud, it’s sort of fuzzy, and we can’t quite make it out. I also think of this analogy of like a mirage, like, we can see what we sort of want in the future. And, and we can walk towards it, but we can’t quite make it out. We know it’s out there in the future, but we can’t quite see it clearly. The other analogy I have is like, if you’re swimming underwater, and you’re like there’s this thing out there, I know it’s out there, and I can sort of see it, but it’s a little bit blurry and fuzzy, because we’re in the ocean. That is the way I think of a cloud goal as well. So again, your habits are going to build upon each other to help you meet your goal. And then those goals are going to add up and add up and add up to give you your cloud goal. Let me give you an example of what this might sound like.

12:12 So I have a habit in my business of every week, posting on Instagram of every week, recording a Friday story every week, recording a podcast and sending out an email on Tuesdays. That happens in my business every single week. Those are habits and their habits now, so I’m not going to miss them. Now, when I first started out, were they sort of sporadic, probably. And in fact, I would say that my Instagram posting and my Facebook posting is not super consistent yet. But it’s still getting me in the direction that I want to go. I know that I don’t have to do it perfectly. It’s getting me to one of my goals, which was to create a do it yourself or a DIY preparing missionary course. So all of the work that I’ve been doing over the last little while has helped me achieve the goal of creating a DIY preparing missionary course it’s called mental mission prep, you can just watch all of the videos yourself at home in however long or short of time you want to watch it. So that is awesome. Because a lot of people find me last minute and they’re like, can you help me I leave in a week. And I’m like, Ah, we can’t do one on one. But here’s a course that you can do on your own. So that was a goal that I set to have that course ready, ready to go set to go by May 15. And so all of the little things that I did all of that all habits helped me by moving me closer to that goal. Okay, I also have a cloud goal that’s way off in the distance, and I can’t quite make it out where I want to be helping 1000s of missionaries, preparing currently serving and returned missionaries. I want to be the go to place where missionaries get mentally and emotionally prepared for their mission and the go to place where missionaries come to ease and help in their transition Hall. Because the mission presents a unique set of challenges. And I know that this set of solutions that I have is unique and life changing. So again, I can’t really tell you what that looks like to be helping 1000s of missionaries, but I can sort of see it I can sort of make it out what it might look like. And I’m gonna keep moving towards that these habits build up To these goals, these goals build up to my cloud goal or my dream. Okay? So how do we make sense of where to go or what to start or what to even do, what I encourage you to do is go to your cloud goal first, what’s the thing that you really want? Is it just to get married, let’s say that’s the cloud goal, we don’t really know what it’s gonna look like, we don’t know how it’s gonna be we we’re not even sure who it’s going to be. Or when we don’t know anything, but we know it’s out there. And we know that we want it. So then we come back, right to the present moment, and we just take a guess, on what would get us moving in that direction. What’s a habit that I want to start creating, that will get me moving towards that cloud goal? Maybe the habit is I go on one date, every week. Maybe your habit is I go on two dates every week. And we start taking steps towards a goal, maybe the goal would be by the end of the year, I will have gone on X amount of dates. Okay? That might be the goal. And then, after we have met that goal, over and over and over, that is going to get us to our cloud goal. So what I want you to do is I want you to come to the present moment, kind of point yourself in the direction of your cloud goal. And I want you to take a guess, at what’s going to be the next right step, the next right habit to get you there. And then I want you to not be confused, I want you to just take some action and start moving, then I want you to reevaluate. Do we need to change habits? Do we need to add habits? Do we need to change goals? Do we want to accomplish a different goal? Always aligning yourself with the cloud goal that you see in the future? This will also help you to constrain like, what is not getting me towards that? What can I take out? What do I want to add? What do I want to take away.

17:15 And then the last thing I want you to do is I want you to make room for magic. I just like to believe that of course I’m going to be helping 1000s of missionaries. At some point in the future. Again, I don’t know what that’s going to look like, I’m going to take the steps and create the habits and set some goals along the way to get me there. But I don’t believe that it’s all up to me. I sort of love to leave a little bit of room for me being wrong about something for it to happen in a way that I never expected. I don’t get so set that my these habits and these goals are what’s gonna get me there. I’m open to whatever, however, I get there. And sometimes I’ll be surprised with how I need a goal, or how like that cloud goal comes to pass. No, I have to say one word about why we set goals anyway. I don’t want you to get in the mindset that somehow we’re going to be better when we’re married. Somehow we’re going to be better when we’re helping 1000s of missionaries, somehow we’re going to be better after we’ve read the Book of Mormon before our mission. The reason that we set goals is because of who we become in the process. It’s because of the way that we’re going to change the way we see ourselves, the way we’re going to change the way we think about other people. We’re going to change the way we think about the world, we’re going to change the way we think about our role. We’re going to feel all kinds of emotions and have all kinds of experiences and on the way we transform ourselves. If your cloud goal is to be done, and finish the mission and walk off that plane, and feel super proud of what you’ve done, that’s awesome. There’s a lot of steps between now and then. But the completion of the goal, you walking off that plane, this is kind of crazy, won’t be what is amazing about that experience when you meet that cloud goal when you get there. That’s not the amazing part. The amazing thing is who you’ve become in the process of getting there, and who you’ve helped along the way. That’s how I feel about my cloud goal. I set these goals because it’s transformative for me. And because I know that when I’m in In the process of transforming myself, I’m helping tons of people along the way. It’s actually super fun. We’re never a better version of ourselves. We’re just a newer version of ourselves. Like a new version on your iPhone. And I think maybe I said this on another podcast. But like Jennie 2.0, like my iPhone with a new operating system, I’m not better. I’m just different. I have more experiences, new thoughts, feeling new emotions. And that is super fun. So I encourage you to go through this process, set a cloud goal, whatever that is in the future, the one that’s fuzzy, come all the way back to the present moment. Take a guess on how you think you’ll get there. What the next right step is, take some action, reevaluate and make room for the magic. I hope this helps you to start separating out your habits, which lead to your goals, which lead to your dreams. All right, my friends. I hope you have the most amazing week. We’re headed into wedding week. Wish us luck. Take care. Bye bye. Thanks so much for joining me on the podcast today. Listen, if you are learning a lot from this podcast, and you like what you’re hearing, you will absolutely love hopping on a free strategy call with me. That’s where you and I meet up one on one and talk specifically about what is going on for you. I love teaching young adults the mental and emotional tools that they need to overcome orient anxiety, serve the successful missions they’ve always dreamed of and navigate their post mission experience with confidence. So go to Jennie dildine.com, and click on the work with me link. I would love to meet you. And I would love to get you some helpful tools and strategies to help you fully embrace whatever is next for you. And in the meantime, no matter which part of the mission experience you are involved in. Just know that Jennie, the LDS mission coach, is thinking about you every single day.

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Hey! I'm Jennie - The LDS Mission Coach.

Preparing for, serving and coming home from an LDS Mission can present countless changes and transitions. I’ve seen these changes put missionaries at the mercy of their emotions and questioning their abilities. With the tools I teach, young adults empower themselves to navigate every moment of the mission experience with epic, unwavering confidence.

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