62. Stop Wrestling with Rest

0:00 Hey, What is up everyone? It’s Jennie Dildine, the LDS mission coach and you’re listening to the LDS mission Podcast, episode number 60. To stop wrestling with rest. I’m Jennie, the LDS mission coach. And whether you’re preparing to serve a mission, currently serving a returned missionary or a missionary mama like me, I created this podcast just for you. Are you searching for epic confidence? Ready to love yourself and to learn the how of doing hard things? Then let’s go. I will help you step powerfully into your potential and never question your purpose. Again, it’s time to embrace yourself, embrace your mission, embrace your life, and embrace what’s next. Hey, everybody, and welcome to the podcast, I would like to send a special warm welcome to all of the missionaries who are listening to this podcast. Many of you I think, know, and I’ve shared with you that Facebook is no longer hosting podcasts, which is totally fine. They’re allowed to do that. But I have started sharing my podcast with missionaries via Google Drive. And so I’m hearing from lots of you, it is super fun, that you are all on here listening and getting all of the good tools and information that you need to feel completely like successful out there. So thanks for being here. Thanks for listening. If you are a missionary mom, so many props to you. The more help that we can get our moms into our missionaries, the better. Because mental and emotional preparedness for the mission, having those tools during the mission. And using those tools at the end of our mission. And that transition home can be really crucial to the success that we feel as we are going through this mission process. You know, the mission presents a unique set of challenges, like challenges that most of us don’t have to deal with on an everyday basis. And so that’s why we’re here is to get a unique set of solutions to learn to really thrive through the entire mission experience. So thank you so much for being here. Thank you for placing some importance on mental and emotional well being I love it. My kids started school, they started on Tuesday. So it’s just been a couple of days. I did watch my daughter pulsant. My daughter’s actually, the second day be like I can’t believe I have to do this for nine more months. And I you know, getting up early. And I was just like, why would we even think that let’s not think about that. Let’s just focus on today. What do we got to do today? Anyone ever been there? I don’t know, maybe starting a mission or

3:11 you know, maybe you’re starting a new job or maybe a new semester, whatever it is. But my best tip for that right is just bring it back to the present moment. And focus on right now, what do I need to do in the next 10 minutes, if necessary. Sometimes we just have to take our days, 10 minutes at a time. And don’t let our brain just go crazy and wander off to the future. So that’s good. We’re getting back into a routine here at our house. And it’s always nice. I’m not looking forward to winter, but I don’t mind fall. So super awesome. Today, what I want to talk to you about is rest. Okay, so one of the things that I hear, kind of here and there on the mission, and after the mission is this idea that we are just going to push ourselves and work, work, work, work work until we can’t work anymore. And I’ve been thinking a lot about this concept and some of the things I want to be able to share with you today about this concept. This is actually I think in a turn into two podcasts. I want to talk about rest this week. And then next week, I’m going to talk about burnout, kind of that idea of like losing motivation or losing losing steam, whether we’re like preparing to leave and we’re just like I just I feel like I hit a wall I can’t do anymore. Or if we’re on the mission, and we’re kind of getting into that last part where we’re feeling kind of chunky or where we feel like we’ve kind of hit a plateau. Or maybe we’re you know, just home from our mission and we’re just like I don’t even think I can get through this semester. You know I’m just feeling so burned out. So I think this is going to cover two episodes. But first I want to talk about rest. And I want to start by sharing with you an email that I received from a missionary who’s been listening to my podcast. And she said, one of the things that my mission president was talking to me about is when missionaries go into their last six months of the mission, they tend to plateau. She goes on to say, and he said, to do everything you can to not plateau. Because when people tend to plateau, they aren’t growing, they’re actually going, quote, unquote, backwards. So she just said, Hey, Jenny, I’d be super interested in hearing your take on this. He had said that if there was one thing that he would want to help missionaries with, it would be not to get discouraged. And to avoid plateaus. So this is kind of what I want us to think about, I want us to think about today. You know, we talk about President Nelson talks about how we have these mountains in our lives, okay. And he talks about how we can move those mountains. But I also want to explore what it might look like for us to be headed up a mountain, and then to reach kind of a plateau before we start headed, heading back up the mountain. So first of all, if you’ve listened to anything that I’ve taught you on this podcast, you know that it’s okay, if you get discouraged, you’re actually supposed to get discouraged. Sometimes, we’re gonna, like, have a little bit of discouragement when things don’t go the way we thought they were gonna go. And all that is, is just thoughts that our lower brain offers us to keep us safe to keep us protected. So listen, anybody who’s out there post mission, mission, preparing missionary, it’s okay for you to get discouraged. What I would say is, yeah, it makes sense that you get discouraged sometimes. And it’s fine. I think all of us get discouraged from time to time, including I think Jesus Christ got discouraged from time, from time to time. In fact, I think we know that God gets discouraged from time to time, like when the heaven doesn’t he say that he went to a corner of the heaven and wept, I will not be able to tell you exactly where that’s found. So there you go. I’m not any major scriptorium. But I think that having emotions on both sides of the spectrum where we feel elated, and we feel discouraged is totally, totally normal.

7:52 So one of the things that starts to happen with my clients, though, is as they start to gain a little bit of momentum, like they’re going up this mountain, they start to gain a little bit of traction, and they start to get a little bit of relief in how they’re feeling. So picture, maybe a missionary who is just really struggling really hard, the language is kicking their trash. They’re feeling very lonely and very homesick. And then when they learn how to kind of manage their thoughts allow all of their emotions, they kind of reach what I would call a plateau. Meaning that it just doesn’t feel as hard to get up that mountain. Same with my return missionaries, like maybe they’re trying to find a job, they’re trying to rediscover their purpose. They’re trying to figure out what’s next. A lot of them are kind of diving into dating and things like that. And it feels like they’re like climbing themselves up a mountain. Hey. Now, if that mountain was just removed, which I think does happen, right, and President Nelson tells us that we can remove the mountains in our lives, and I totally believe that. But every once in a while that mountain is going to stay there because what it does is are climbing up the mountain is what’s gonna keep us strong. And what’s going to build our endurance. Sometimes those mountains aren’t removed, because they’re not supposed to be in it’s not time we’re supposed to get something from it. Okay. But listen, I get it. Sometimes those mountains feel so hard. Like really, really hard. Maybe you’re having a conflict with your companion In, maybe you have a little bit of additional anxiety that you’re trying to work through. I have a client recently who broke up with her boyfriend. And that’s been really challenging. I also been talking to a few clients who went home sooner than they expected from the mission. Maybe we’re filled with doubt or fear about heading out on the mission soon. I don’t know, these, these challenges, these mountains are tough to climb. And sometimes it feels like we’re climbing up a little bit and then we hit like a patch of shale, and then we slide back down. And then we climb up a little bit, and then we slide back down. But every once in a while, kind of like I said, with my clients, once they start to make a little traction, they start to create more of the path that they want in their lives, they start to understand that they’re the creator of their feelings, and their mission and their lives. Every once in a while, we start up that mountain again, and we reach a plateau, or what I’m going to call a meadow. What happens when we get to the meadow is it’s calm. It’s peaceful. We sort of surrender, and we get to rest. Now rest is super important for us to just keep functioning as humans in this world. What I find typically, is that when people get to that Meadow is the time for us to like refill our water bottle to like soak in the sun, to look at the clouds to just be abundant and grateful for this mountain that we’re on. Sometimes, instead, we just wrestle with the meadow, instead of just being really present and being like, oh my gosh, I’m so glad that I have this opportunity to take a deep breath. We fight it. Your brain. Remember that lower brain that’s always looking for problems will start to think things like what’s wrong. We can’t stay here long, we got to keep going. One of the reasons right is because we sort of believe that the action we’re taking gives us more value and more worth. But if we can just let go of that. And we can just be like no brain, it’s fine. Let’s just rest. Your brain will want to start being worried about what is your next move up the mountain.

12:55 But what I want to offer to you today is you can just enjoy the meadow, you can just rest. One of the experiences that I want to share with you is one of my clients, I was working with him on the mission. And he learned all these tools. He’d gone through my program. And I got on a call with him. And he’s like, I just can’t believe everything feels so good right now, because everything had felt so hard before. He’s like, I can’t believe it. Like we’re actually teaching people. I’m getting along with my companion. I just feel so good. And he’s like, I feel like something’s wrong, I need to be doing more I need to be busy and really bustin my head against the wall and and it was almost like he was saying me it should be hard. It shouldn’t be this easy. And I said to him, I said listen other. What if this meadow is for you? What if this plateau we could call it is a little bit of respite, it’s a little bit of time for you to rest. Because we know for sure like next transfer or next semester, or maybe like next job or whatever is going to happen for you. We know for sure that that struggle up the mountain is going to come back around because of the world that we live in and because of our human brains. I promise you the struggle will always come back around. So why not? When you’re in the meadow just rest. Now there’s a few kinds of rest that I want you to kind of consider and think about. Okay. I came up with three. Number one is mental. We’re Rest? How do we create mental rest, I’ve looked up rest at the Church of Jesus christ.org. And there was tons of stuff that came up. And a lot of them had to do. Some of them had to do with physical rest, which we’re gonna get to in a minute, but a lot of them had to do with mental rest. And this was one of them from Exodus 3314. It says, And he said, my president shall go with thee, and I will give the rest. So the way I think about this one, is if we really trust in God and trust in His plan, and have this belief, like, it’s going to be okay, no matter what, like I’m always enough, Christ makes up the difference for everything else that allows us to rest. That’s a way we can rest our minds. This one in Jeremiah 616 says, Where is the good way and walk there in and ye shall find rest here souls. So the way I think about this is when our thoughts are not as much like, how am I doing this wrong? Or I need to do more? Like, how am I going to get up that mountain again? What’s the next thing? What am I gonna do next, we can just be like, it’s all good. We can just allow ourselves some mental rest. And it’s really just a trust that the Lord has got our backs, that the atonement makes up all the difference. And he has a plan. Okay, he has a plan for all of us. Here’s another one in Jacob one seven. Wherefore we labored diligently among our people, that we might persuade them to come into Christ, and partake of the goodness of God, they might enter into His rest. And really, again, that’s where I find rest. When my brain starts being like, I’m kind of freaking out about the things and what I gotta do and what’s next. And how am I going to get up this mountain? When I really zoom out, and then like, okay, Christ has got me it’s all good. That is, when I can allow my mind to rest, Moroni seven, three, talks about entering into the rest of the Lord, this one and doctrine of covenants 4334, hearkened me to these words, Behold, I am Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world, treasure these things up in your hearts, and let the solemnities of eternity rest upon your minds. Just kind of consider, what are some of the ways what are some of the thoughts that allow you and allow your mind to rest?

17:47 One of the ways to for sure not allow your mind to rest is to argue with the thoughts your brain is offering you. I was talking to a client this week about how sometimes our brain will offer us a thought and be like, you’re not good enough. And it’s like, it’s tapping us on the shoulder. And it’s like, Hey, you’re not good enough. And that thought has a purpose. It has a reason our brain has a reason it’s offering it to us, usually to just shut us down. But if we don’t, like if we just start like, I can’t think that I shouldn’t think that and we resist it. That thought usually gets stronger. So we can just observe it and be like, hey, there’s my brain telling me that thought that I’m not good enough. Okay. I know Heavenly Father’s got a plan. I know that it’s okay. I know. I’m supposed to have this brain. I know. I’m supposed to be discouraged. All good. Okay. So the second thing is emotional rest. Now, I talk a lot about this in I think it’s called all the fields, I’m pretty sure it’s podcast number three, about allowing our emotions. It is so exhausting you guys to repress or avoid or resist emotion. So instead of resisting emotion, like when, let’s say anxiety is coming along, and we’re trying to push picture, you’re like in a swimming pool and anxieties right now on a beach ball. And that beach ball comes along and we’re trying to push anxiety under the water. Like I don’t want to feel anxiety, I can’t feel anxiety. I shouldn’t feel anxiety. what eventually happens that beach ball is it explodes back up. Think about how much fatigue is caused when we’re trying to hold that beach ball under the water for a really long time. When instead we could just let it float around us and we can just feel the emotion of anxiety. Picture something like insecurity. I always picture like there’s someone knocking on the door and it’s like knock knock and Oh, my dog just sparked. It’s like knocking on the door. And we’re like, hey, insecurity, let’s hang out, what most of us do is we exhaust ourselves by resisting that insecurity by pushing on the door not letting in and trying to barricade that door. That can be the exhausting part, what you’ll find is if you just learn how to allow your emotions, and sit with them, they’re actually not that exhausting, they just kind of cycle through our bodies. So the last one, of course, is physical rest. And this is a legit thing. Sometimes we have to take a stop and allow ourselves to rest physically. So make sure we’re getting enough sleep at night, make sure that if we’re feeling like we’re going 100 miles an hour, we get really present and we just take a deep breath, a few deep breaths, and calm our body down physically. Okay. So the way I think about this frantic, it’s kind of like we’re in a spin, and rest, doesn’t have to be a nap. It’s actually just allowing our thoughts, allowing our emotions and allowing ourselves to physically slow down. It’s actually taking a minute, and being so grateful, instead of thinking, Oh, my gosh, I’ve hit this plateau or this meadow. Instead of thinking, I can’t be here, I can’t stay here. Otherwise, I’m gonna slip back down the mountain, we can just take a look and be like, Thank you, and be so grateful and so abundant that this rest is not wrong, but it’s actually for us. So let’s just enjoy the meadow. One of the hymns actually came to mind with this. And it’s the Lord is my shepherd. Because it talks about a meadow. So let me read you. It’s number 316. Well, actually, it looks like this one’s the women’s version. So it might be somewhere else in the book too. But um, The Lord is my shepherd. No, want Shall I know. I feed in green pastures, say folded. I rest. He leadeth my soul, where the still waters flow restores me when wandering, redeems when oppressed.

22:44 So good. I just love I’ve always loved that visual of me being in that meadow. No want Shall I know. I feed in green pastures. So if you feel like in your life, you’re still climbing that mountain if it hasn’t been removed from you yet. It’s okay. Take these little respites take these little opportunities to rest because they are for you. I love this safe folded, I rest it’s safe there. He wants us to go where the still waters flow. He’s gonna keep restoring us and allowing us to find not only mental rest, through our beliefs in Him and through the atonement. And through allowing all of those thoughts, also emotional rest, where we can really tap into those fruits of the Spirit like peace, abundance, love, long suffering. And remember, all those emotions are created with your thinking. Right? And also physical rest, instead of just continuing to take action and take action and take action. Because that’s when we burn out. And that’s what we’re going to talk about next week. Allow yourself to rest. So when you get to this meadow, instead of being like, I shouldn’t be here. I can’t be here. I gotta get moving. Just enjoy it there. refill your water bottle. Admire the flowers, like look at the shapes in the clouds and rest the meadow is for you. So I give you permission to slow it down your mind, your heart and some physical rest to take a deep breath and breathe in the sense and the presence and the awe of the meadow. Alright, everyone have the most amazing week. We will see you next time. We’re going to talk about burnouts gonna be super fun. Take care. Thanks so much for joining me on the podcast today. Listen, if you are learning a lot from this podcast and you like what you’re hearing, you will absolutely love hopping on a free strategy call with me. That’s where you and I meet up one on one and talk specifically about what is going on for you. I love teaching young adults the mental and emotional tools that they need to overcome orient anxiety, serve the successful missions they’ve always dreamed of and navigate their post mission experience with confidence. So go to Jennie dildine.com, and click on the work with me link. I would love to meet you. And I would love to get you some helpful tools and strategies to help you fully embrace whatever is next for you. And in the meantime, no matter which part of the mission experience you are involved in. Just know that Jennie, the LDS mission coach is thinking about you every single day.