73. Your One Job

0:00 Hey, what’s up everyone, it’s Jennie Dildine, the LDS mission coach and you are listening to the LDS mission Podcast, episode number 73. Your one job? Hey, I’m Jennie, the LDS mission coach. And whether you’re preparing to serve a mission, currently serving a returned missionary or a missionary mama like me, I created this podcast just for you. Are you searching for epic confidence? Ready to love yourself and to learn the how of doing hard things? Then let’s go. I will help you step powerfully into your potential and never question your purpose. Again. It’s time to embrace yourself. Embrace your mission, embrace your life, and embrace what’s next. Hey, everybody, and welcome to the podcast. I’m super excited to be hanging out with you. I think I say that on every podcast. And as I was walking, to pick up my daughter from school today, I was sort of like, I think I say that every podcast. But here’s kind of what I’ve decided. I am excited to be hanging out with you. Like, I can’t really think of other words that are super apt, or at least as appropriate as that I am excited. And I’m so honored that you want to spend your time here. And I want to say such a big thank you to all of you for spending your time with me. It’s important work that we’re all doing here. And so I just appreciate it so much. I wanted to share a couple of reviews from the podcast on Apple podcasts. You guys can go there and rate and review this podcast. If it’s helping you at all, I would so appreciate it. It just gets the word out more and more to people who are wanting to help our missionaries. So this one is from cam, ma’am. Three says amazing. I found Jenny from Jody Moore, who I have been listening to for years. Jenny’s podcast is truly a blessing. I think the mental health of our missionaries is just as important as their spiritual health. And Jenny is helping us Mama’s help our missionaries. A min cam, ma’am. Three, I 1,000% agree. What’s actually sort of true is that if our mental and emotional health aren’t like kind of lined up, it’s hard for us to even access the spiritual piece. And, and I will never say you will never hear me say that. If you’re experiencing emotions that don’t feel as good that you lose access to the Spirit, you will never hear me say that. I believe that that is not true. Emotions are just emotions. Spirits always available, always there to help us and comfort us. This one from mol live verb looks like I am loving this podcast as we get ready to send my oldest off to Canada. I’m so on board with the idea of supporting the emotional and mental health of missionaries and their families. And this podcast is for sure meeting this important need. Thank you, Oliver. I appreciate that so much. And I hope so I hope it is helping you and your missionaries, and all of you. So thanks so much for being here. We are going to dive into all kinds of good things today about what your one job is as a missionary. So this might apply more to missionaries like either preparing missionaries or currently serving missionaries. But I dare say it will also apply to anything that you are trying to accomplish. Okay? Whether that’s kind of dealing with your kids, or whether that’s like your boss or your job, you know, at work, whether you are a returned missionary, and you’re married or, you know landed your first gig after college, whatever it is, this, these concepts will be able to apply to all of you. So I hope you’ll keep listening. Speaking of return missionaries, I want to tell you that I have a new program for returned missionaries that I am thrilled about. It is a group of returned missionaries. It’s gonna be an awesome place for you to come and start to rediscover your purpose. Learn how to make powerful decisions. Tap into fulfillment. That’s one of the things I’m hearing most often from returned missionaries is I don’t feel fulfilled anymore. You don’t need to feel lost, you don’t need to be full of social anxiety, we’re going to do all of that work in a group. So if you’re interested in that, shoot me an email, and we’ll get you some information about that group going to start in December 1 week of December, you will want to be there, it’s going to be amazing. Okay, on to our Preparing missionaries, I have a free thing that you can go get it’s a free training video. And then I asked the missionaries that opt into that free video to watch that video, what is the number one thing that they’re worried about? And a lot recently, I have heard something that sounds like this, this is a quote from an email, the number one thing I’m worried about for my mission is what I know. I’m worried that what I know will not be enough to teach others to come unto Christ. Okay, so this person who’s preparing for her mission is worried about what she knows. Um, let me find another one for you. The this one from another preparing missionary. The number one thing I would say I am most worried about is not knowing enough about the scriptures and just the gospel in general, she said, that might sound crazy. But as much as I read and study, it just doesn’t seem to stick. So I’m worried I would be teaching someone and not know what to say, or if I said it correctly, etc. So I’ve just gotten a lot of emails like this recently. So I kind of wanted to speak to it. I want to first do a quick review of the self coaching model that I teach, that I learned when I became a certified life coach. And if you’re confused at all about what I’m talking about, you can go back to episode seven. That was a long time ago. And listen to episode seven, how to overcome any challenge. But the idea is that there’s stuff that happens outside of us, right, then that stuff that happens outside of us, our brain will make kind of a judgment call on or an evaluation of and then create a thought in our brain. A sentence in our minds than that sentence in our minds, is going to create a feeling or a vibration in our bodies. And kind of like I talked last week about how that vibration or that emotion is going to drive or create momentum towards a certain set of actions. So then those actions are going to create the result that you have in your life. So you can sort of think about it like a math equation. So if you lined everything up, top to bottom, your circumstance is just what it is, like I’m teaching someone a lesson on the mission. That’s just what’s happening. The thought about we have a thought about that is the next laying down that thought creates a feeling or a vibration in your body. That feeling drives a set of actions. And then all of that culminates to the end of this equation at the very bottom with our result. So here’s what I want to offer you today is most of us are super obsessed about the actions that we take. The amount of studying that we do, the amount that we know, like whether we’ve gone to seminary, I got another email from a missionary, a preparing missionary who said I didn’t go to seminary, so I’m not super confident in what I’ll be able to teach. So as humans, we like to hyper focus on what happens in the action of our model. But what we find when we go through the model is the result is not created by our action, our action is a part of it, but our result will always 100% of the time, tie back and match your thought.

9:29 Okay, so that is just good to know. So you kind of like just a heads up, you want to be careful about what you think. Because that will end up in your result line. It’s called confirmation bias where your brain will want to prove true what you believe. Okay, so, if you believe I don’t know enough, your brain will just look for evidence that that’s true. Or if you believe I don’t think I’m going to be a very good teacher because of what I know. your brain and your result line will make that true. Here’s what I then want to offer you today is your one job as a missionary, and I’m sure there’s others, but the one that you have power over and you’re able to focus on is how you feel. And the thought that creates that feeling. Like, we can take all kinds of action. And it still is not going to cause someone perhaps, to want to take the action of being baptized or joining our church, or anything like that. So as often as possible, instead of considering what you need to do, or what you need to know. What I want you to start thinking about is, what do I want to think and feel. You actually don’t need to know that much. Your one job as a missionary, as you go out, is to offer thoughts to other people with love. So you have a collection of thoughts that you want to share with other people like, Hey, did you know that Jesus Christ is your Savior? That’s your thought that you’ve been thinking for a long time. And then on the mission, we get to go share it with someone with love. Or, Hey, did you know that through covenants and the temple we can be with our families for eternity? That’s your thought, that’s created an emotion and you for a long time, have faith of hope. And then you get to go out and share that thought with someone else. But those people that you’re teaching, right, they have a collection of thoughts, too, that have been creating for years and years and years, a collection of emotions. Because their thoughts, create their emotions, drive their actions, and have been giving them their results. So our job as missionaries is not to decide what to make other people think. We don’t get to decide that. We only get to offer thoughts with love. I kind of picture it like you have a little platter. And you’re like here. Did you know this? Did you know that your heavenly parents love you and they’re aware of you. Now we had to offer that thought was love. Now, can we influence someone else’s thoughts? Of course, like we totally have the ability. When we offer someone a thought with love. They have then the agency to believe that thoughts and make it their own. But do we get to decide whether they pick up that thought? Do we get to decide if they keep believing that thought? Do we get to decide what that thought makes them feel? Or are the actions they take from that place and what their result is? Totally No. We don’t know most of the time, our brain kind of tells us that we get to be in charge of someone else’s results in that model, but your thoughts create your feelings which drive your actions and give you your result and the person that you’re teaching. Their thoughts create their feelings which drive their action and give them their results. And we sort of believe that we get a different reaction or a different result from someone by our doing by our changing by our I don’t know fasting and prayer and not to say that none of that helps. But we still don’t get to decide what someone else’s result looks like. Like my sons when they were serving their mission and I’ve heard this before is like we were teaching this one person and they were totally on board and we were offering thoughts with love and then they were picking up those thoughts and making them their own thoughts and creating their own emotions. Then that would drive a set of actions of them reading their scriptures and showing up to church and then one day we just get ghosted. And then it was done. Now, our tendency, right as humans, like, oh, that’s about us, that’s about our actions. That’s about the way we were thinking and feeling. And if we were just think and feel something different, show up differently, then we could have changed their outcome. But their outcome has pretty little to do with you. At some point, their thoughts change the person you’re teaching, okay, at some point, their thoughts changed. Most likely nothing to do with you. Most likely Their thoughts went from like, gosh, this is really cool. I love what they’re teaching me to, I’m not so sure about this. It’s okay. And then they started to feel something different. And then that drove their action, to not answer your texts anymore. But not about you. It’s about them and the experience they’re having, and the lens that they come to, like, their circumstance and their situation with you. They come with a lens of their own collection of thoughts, and their own collection of emotions. So the best we can do your one job is to offer thoughts with love. That’s really all we get to be in charge of, is how we think, how we feel and how we show up and everything else is up to the agency of the other person. I was thinking about how Christ in His ministry, and when he was teaching, he didn’t like force anyone or twist anyone’s arm. I’d be like, You better believe this. And then if someone didn’t believe he didn’t take it personal, he was like, that’s about them. It’s okay. They’ll, they’ll come around when they’re ready. He always offered thoughts with love. Now, some people listened. And they picked up those thoughts and made them their own and started creating their own emotions, and taking their own actions and getting their own results. But some people didn’t. And that’s okay. Christ still chose love. And if you want to fill yourself up with love, it starts by filling yourself up with love for yourself first. And then that love will spill out to the people you’re teaching. And how do we create love, if love is a feeling you create that love with the thoughts that you think Christ chose love, even in the final moments of his life. He said, forgive them for they don’t really know what they’re doing. Right? He understood that those people and those soldiers that crucified him, had their own thoughts, and feelings, and we’re taking actions from the fuel or the feeling that was driving them. But it was okay. He didn’t take away their agency. So you can apply this not just to people who you’re teaching, but to your companion, your difficult companion, your one job with your companion, is to offer thoughts with love. Maybe you are working with someone who is maybe not following the rules. Again, we can’t we can’t change them. We can influence we can guide we can offer thoughts with love. And then they get to decide what to do with that from there. I love thinking about how when I show up like this when I show up just offering thoughts with kindness and love. Like a platter like anyone want it. I got this. I want to share it with you. Totally fine if you don’t want it.

19:29 That is how the Savior did it. That that’s how he taught. And he showed up with love, no matter what. All right. Just a reminder, we’re not always going to be able to get that lower brain we’re not always gonna be able to show up with love. I don’t even think the Savior always did. He had moments of grief and sadness to write because he was a human on this earth, just like you are but as often as possible. Create Loving yourself first, then go out and offer thoughts to people. They get to decide what they want to do with those thoughts next. All right. I hope everyone has the most amazing week, we will talk to you next time, serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints can present a unique set of challenges. And many of those challenges you might not even see coming. So you’re gonna want a unique set of solutions. It’s easier than you think to overcome worry and anxiety, serve the successful mission you’ve always dreamed of, and navigate your post mission experience with confidence. That is why I created some amazing free goodies that I’m sharing in my show notes. Maybe you want to grab the free training for preparing missionaries, my video course for RMS or maybe you and I should hop on a free strategy call. If you’re ready to take your preparedness to serve or your preparedness to come home to the next level. Then go grab one of those freebies. And in the meantime, no matter which part of the mission experience you were involved in, just know that Jenny, the LDS mission coach is thinking about you every single day.