75. Fostering Fulfillment

Do you ever feel that your mind feels like a ping-pong match? One moment it jumps from worrying about your date on Saturday and the next it’s overthinking how you just embarrassed yourself in front of a crowd. When your brain is in this cycle, it’s hard to feel fulfillment or satisfaction. Learning to be present and living in the moment can help overcome that battle. Listen in to hear more about how you can let every moment land. 

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0:00 Hey, What is up everyone? It’s Jennie Dildine, the LDS mission coach and you are listening to the LDS mission Podcast, episode number 75. Fostering fulfillment. Hey, I’m Jennie, the LDS mission coach. And whether you’re preparing to serve a mission, currently serving a returned missionary or a missionary mama like me, I created this podcast just for you. Are you searching for epic confidence? Ready to love yourself and to learn the how of doing hard things? Then let’s go. I will help you step powerfully into your potential and never question your purpose. Again. It’s time to embrace yourself. Embrace your mission, embrace your life, and embrace what’s next. Hey, everybody, welcome to the podcast. Thanksgiving weekend, right? Are you spending time with your family? If you’re on the mission, did you get fed and taken really good care of I hope so. I used to do a Friday story every single week for currently serving missionaries. And I’ve recently changed that to what I call a missionary minute. That happens on Mondays. So pass the word along, I do a little tip or strategy for currently serving missionaries on Mondays if you want to follow me on Instagram or Facebook. But I used to have time when it wasn’t just a minute long to say, sending love to the missionaries all over the world, I think about you every single day. And so now I’m pretty sure that just still happens on the end of this podcast. But it’s true. I was telling someone today that one of the things that’s unique to a mission is it’s a short time in your life. And so what I found is most people or I shouldn’t say most, a good chunk of people are interested in the missionaries and their mental health and their emotional health or spiritual health while they have a missionary, or while they are a missionary, and then once their son or daughter gets home or once they get home, we don’t think about it as much. And that’s what I want to be you guys hear, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for the long haul. I’m invested in you, I care about you, I want what’s best for you. And I just want you to know that with all my heart. And so I really don’t take lightly the opportunity that I have to kind of share with you each week. And I’m so grateful you’re here. Speaking of Thanksgiving weekend, things that I’m grateful for I’m grateful for you. Today, we are going to speak mostly to returned missionaries. And this is one topic that I just am hearing over and over and over on my strategy sessions with returned missionaries. So I wanted to speak to it a bit today. But since we’re talking about return missionaries, I wanted to remind you that I have a new program for returned missionaries. It’s an RM group how to transition home with purpose, and you are going to want to be in there. Um, I’ve had people specifically tell me like, oh, once they get home, they’re not missionaries anymore, which is true. They’re just adults, which is also true. But that transition, if you don’t have the right tools and strategies can be really a tough transition. I have talked to missionaries who have been home three years, four years, and they are still trying to figure out what their purpose is. And tap into like that fulfillment and struggling with decision making you guys it doesn’t have to take that long. It literally is just you sort of prepared to go on your mission and no one taught you how to come home. And that’s what we do in my return missionary program. It is completely transformational. I want to see you in there. And so if you’re interested, go ahead and shoot me an email Jennie at Jennie dildine.com. And I can tell you all the things about it. It’s gonna be really fun, a really fun place to be. So totally check that out. So when it comes to return to missionaries, the thing I’ve been hearing over and over and over and even with the clients that I have, is I don’t feel fulfilled. In fact, I just had a strategy call this week with recently returned missionary He said, I just don’t feel fulfilled anymore. Like the mission is fulfilled me. And now, I’m not fulfilled. So the first thing we got to understand you guys is what is fulfillment. And the way I like to think of fulfillment, is fulfillment is a feeling. So if it’s a feeling, it’s a vibration that you get to feel in your body. And if it’s a vibration that you feel in your body, it’s created by a thought. Now, I had kind of an aha moment, the other day, with a returned missionary, one of my clients. And she was kind of saying, you know, I’ve been home for a while, and I just, I’ve been applying the tools that you teach. And I find little bits of like purpose and like decision making and better relationships with people, but I’m still just in this place of not being fulfilled. And so what I asked her is, what percentage of the time do you spend in the present moment. And I want you to ask yourself the same thing. Now, this is not only going to apply to return to missionaries, this is going to apply to preparing missionaries and current missionaries, often, maybe if we have a companion or something that struggling, we’re gonna have a hard time feeling that emotion of fulfillment. And so what I want you to ask yourself is, what percentage of the time do you spend in the present moment? Now, the first time somebody asked me this question, I was like, actually, very little time. Which makes sense, right? This is what our brain likes to do. It likes to ping pong, back and forth between what is gonna happen in the future, and what happened in the past. It’s just likes to go back and forth, like, we got to prepare for future pain, right. And we got to avoid the pain that we experienced in the past. And we just go back and forth, and back and forth like that. So what tends to happen is we spend very, very little time in the present moment experiencing the life that we are living right now. But here’s what we need to understand is that fulfillment, if it’s an emotion, is something we feel right now in our bodies, right now. fulfillment is not possible to feel in the future, if our brains running off to the future, or in the past, if our brain is running off to the past, fulfillment, and another emotion that we really like feeling is joy, those feelings are not available in the past or the present, when our brain is in those places, they are only available in the present moment. Your brain has a problem solving machine. And so it’s going to want to prevent those future problems. And it wants to avoid the past problems. But what we find is when we kind of buy into our brain and ping pong, back and forth, and back and forth between those two, and we’re in our heads all the time, we’re missing our lives. Or we’re missing our missions. Now what this returned missionary, and I discovered, I said, Well, did you feel fulfilled on the mission? And she said, Yes, totally. I felt so much fulfillment. And what we sort of were talking about is how it makes sense. When you go on the mission, you kind of leave the past behind, and you kind of don’t really think about the future. Until it’s getting super close, maybe when you’re about to come home. So on the mission, it’s actually pretty easy to be in the present moment. We live day to day, we are very present. We’re like Who should we talk to today? We’re like, in our scriptures, we’re trying to feel the spirit. We’re seeking sort of like that daily like connection or revelation, which is something that happens in the present moment. So it’s no wonder that on the mission, it was easy to feel the emotion of fulfillment and think thoughts about this present moment.

9:40 And then also makes complete sense why when we get home, we start like comparing ourselves to our past self, comparing ourselves to what we want to have in the future. And we lose that ability to tap into fulfillment and joy. So I want to share with you a concept that I learned that might help with this and And I learned that from my coach, I have a life coach that I work with, because I think everybody should have a life coach. And she shows me like the the blind spots in my brain. And helps me, you know, create the life I want to create and kind of learn how to manage my brain and my emotions. And one of the concepts she taught me was how to let it land. And so what this is like is a couple of times during your day, if you want to set an alarm or something like that, you can be like, Okay, what is happening in this present moment for me? What is happening? What am I feeling? Can I allow myself to be here, right now? In this moment, and it might feel a little bit uncomfortable, because you’re randomly like, what about that test? What about that next thing? What about that date on Friday? What about, remember that thing that happened the past when that girl dumped you or whatever, like your brain will want to do all of that. But we can come back to this present moment. And we can let that moment land. Sometimes, if it’s a, an experience that is super poignant and powerful. You can even like put your hand on your heart, if you want. And you can say to yourself, like, let this moment Lant. We can tell ourselves like, I created this. And I’m amazing. Like this experience that I’m having right now, in this classroom on the BYU campus. This moment where I’m sitting in this chair, I created this, and this is amazing. I’m amazing. Because remember, if fulfillments and emotion, if we want to let fulfillment land, it doesn’t come from a thing. It doesn’t come from being on your mission or not being on your mission or spending Christmas with your family or not spending Christmas with your family, or Thanksgiving. For that matter. It doesn’t come from being away from home, it doesn’t come from your job. It doesn’t come from your girlfriend or your boyfriend it comes from your thinking. And so we can just choose thoughts right now in this moment that create fulfilment, like, I’m right where I’m supposed to be. This moment is for me. And one of my favorite thoughts right now you guys especially like around like this Thanksgiving time and Christmas and stuff like that is I can’t believe my life right now. When I kind of conjure that up, when I am able to access that thought, and come back to the present moment, the emotion is actually a little bit more intense than fulfillment to me what it sparks is, ah, and I’ve just had a super fun time, like figuring out how to introduce more awe, that emotion into my day to day life. So I can be doing the laundry. And I just like come back to the present moment I come back into my body I shut off my forward thinking brain and my past thinking brain, that lower brain and I’m just like actually, right now. I can’t even believe my life right now. Like that I have a house that keeps me warm, that I can push a button and the heat turns on that I can get on my phone. And I can have chicken noodle soup from kneaders show up at my door in a half an hour. Like I can’t believe this electricity. I can’t believe that I get to fold clothes and wash clothes of my children. I have children for fulfillment you guys and awe and joy come in moments. And if we don’t take time to come into the present moment into our bodies right now, we miss our lives. I was talking to the same returned missionary client and what she said to me and she’s like, I love that. That sounds so fun. I think I should probably be more grateful definite lately. And I said, Yeah, but gratitude is fine. And especially this time of year, we talk a lot about gratitude. But there’s a difference between gratitude, like, I’m thankful for that thing. And ah my favorite emotion right now is, ah, and again, it’s created by that thought, I can’t even believe my life right now. And you can be like struggling out on your mission, you can be like, have just bombed a final. You can have no one to teach, you can have your roommate irritated with you or your companion irritated with you. But when you come back into the present moment, and quit thinking about what that means for your future, and Quit letting your brain run off to the past, and what it tells you about who you are, and like whether you’re worthy or good enough, when we can shut all of that off, and we come back into our present moment. That is where everything is usually just fine. In fact, everything is amazing. Like I have a body, my body is sitting on this chair, can you even believe that we have a thing called chairs, right? It’s this sort of are created by the thought I can’t even believe my life right now. Because your past only exists in your mind. And because your future only exists in your mind. The only place we can feel those emotions, those like fulfillment, and joy is now in the present. So as I was preparing this podcast, this scripture kind of came to mind to me. And it’s in Matthew 625, through 34. And it says here, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what you shall drink, nor yet for your body, what you shall put on. It goes on to say, Behold the fowls of the air, for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feedeth them, are you not much better than they? And he said, and then it goes on to say, and why take you thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow, they toil not, neither do they spin. And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. And then in verse 30, Wherefore if God so clothes, the grass of the field, which today is and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you? But this verse 34, is what really stuck out to me. Take therefore no thought for the morrow. For the morrow, shall take thought, for the things of itself. Like, right there, that verse teaches us how to tap into joy, how to tap into fulfillment, how to tap into ah, Take no thought for the morrow. Don’t let your brain run off to the future, causing all kinds of problems and getting all like worked up about stuff that hasn’t even happened yet. And don’t let your brain run off to the past and judge you for everything that’s happened. The morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Be present, come back to this present moment. And whatever you’re experiencing, let it land. Let those emotions land. Experience your life, the goodness, the awe, the enjoyment.

19:45 Tell yourself I created this moment. I’m amazing. And I can’t even believe my life right now. All right, you guys. I hope you find a moment to come back to you to yourself and let the moment land, be in awe of yourself and the life that you’ve created. All right, everyone have the most amazing week, I hope you’ve had the happiest Thanksgiving. Take care. Serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints can present a unique set of challenges. And many of those challenges you might not even see coming. So you’re gonna want a unique set of solutions. It’s easier than you think to overcome worry and anxiety, serve the successful mission you’ve always dreamed of, and navigate your post mission experience with confidence. That is why I created some amazing free goodies that I’m sharing in my show notes. Maybe you’ll want to grab the free training for preparing missionaries, my video course for RMS or maybe you and I should hop on a free strategy call. If you’re ready to take your preparedness to serve or your preparedness to come home to the next level. Then go grab one of those freebies. And in the meantime, no matter which part of the mission experience you are involved in, just know that Jenny, the LDS mission coach is thinking about you every single day..

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Hey! I'm Jennie - The LDS Mission Coach.

Preparing for, serving and coming home from an LDS Mission can present countless changes and transitions. I’ve seen these changes put missionaries at the mercy of their emotions and questioning their abilities. With the tools I teach, young adults empower themselves to navigate every moment of the mission experience with epic, unwavering confidence.

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