81. Four Steps to Create Anything You Want

Ever wish it was easier to get to where you want to be? The trick is to want it and then turn that want into a belief that you really can do it. In four simple steps, you can start creating anything you want. 

Listen in to Learn:

– How to get to where you want to be

– The simplicity of making things happen

– Why being a creator is a part of who you are

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0:00 Hey, happy new year everyone. It’s Jennie Dildine, the LDS mission coach and you are listening to the LDS mission Podcast, episode number 81. Four steps to create anything you want. I’m Jenny, the LDS mission coach. And whether you’re preparing to serve a mission, currently serving a returned missionary or a missionary mama like me, I created this podcast just for you. Are you searching for epic confidence? Ready to love yourself and to learn the how of doing hard things? Then let’s go. I will help you step powerfully into your potential and never question your purpose. Again. It’s time to embrace yourself. Embrace your mission. Embrace your life, and embrace what’s next. Hey, everybody, welcome to the podcast. Happy New Year to you. Here we are 2023. I don’t know time’s weird, am I right? Sometimes time feels like it’s molasses slow, slow when you’re looking back. And sometimes you’re just like, I don’t even know how we got here. Christmas, New Year’s Done and done and into the new year. How do you guys usually feel in January. I know for me, January can be kind of tough January and February. I know once kind of like all of the holidays are over. And all those little exciting things are done. And then we just kind of head into kind of gloomy day after gloomy day, I have to kind of be on to myself. I’ve never been like diagnosed with like a seasonal affective disorder of any kind. But I know that I have to be sort of on top of the way that I’m thinking and feeling this time of year and make sure I have my happy light out and all of that good stuff. So I hope that you are taking care of yourself. And also knowing that if you feeling a little down, that it’s okay. That it’s pretty normal. I’ve been thinking about how our bodies sometimes they’re a little bit more primitive, or I don’t know, animalistic sounds weird, but more primitive than we give them credit for. So like the bears are hibernating in the winter. And sometimes I feel like we kind of do that a little bit too. And this can be a time to slow down and rest and give yourself so much love and compassion. Now, some of you might be going one or two ways you might be kind of slowing down, some of you might just be gearing up. Some of you might be super motivated by this new year and what you want to accomplish. And so that is also a fun thing to we’re going to talk today about the four steps to create anything that you want. We’re gonna dive into that a little bit. But first, I wanted to talk to you a little bit about my returned missionary program. You guys, if you don’t have your return missionary doing something, after the mission, to help them transition there, it might be kind of a rough go for them. And it doesn’t have to be me it doesn’t have to be coaching. But I have found that the majority of missionaries, in order to transition home successfully, are gonna want something or need some help. What’s nice is when you can just be the parent, and you can just be like, Yes, I love you. This sounds really hard, I understand. But also to get someone else on your team that is, you know, an unbiased person that can give them kind of feedback and suggestions and actual tool tools and strategies to learn how to thrive after the mission. There’s a few things that I see happen as missionaries come home. Number one, they learn how to sort of put their competence and things outside of them. And so when they come home and don’t have those same things, their confidence tends to sort of plummet. They also have had their decisions sort of made for them for quite some time. And I know that they still ultimately have their their agency but their schedule has been set for them. Their purpose is sort of been set for them. And so when they come home and don’t have those kind of things to kind of draw from that can cause some problems. The other thing I’ve seen is that the purpose and fulfillment piece right ate as we feel so fulfilled out on the mission, because we have this purpose we have something we’re working towards, it’s a common goal that we have with a lot of other people. And then we come home, and we’re sort of on our own, and we can’t really like make sense of what our purpose is. That’s another thing that I see. Another thing is back to sort of having your decisions made for you, sometimes it’s hard to figure out what decisions or how to make decisions moving forward. So there’s just a lot that missionaries kind of get accustomed to, while they’re out there, that they don’t have the same sort of routines, the same sort of expectations, the same sort of rules. And an even, like someone telling them what their purpose is. And so then they come home and don’t have those things, and they can often struggle. So don’t wait to get them some help is what I would say to get them someone to talk to. And of course, I’m always here and available and have an amazing program for returning missionaries, too. But I’m seeing, you know, I see it every day and in some of my own children as well. And so just, it’s something maybe worthwhile to start thinking about for your missionary that’s coming home. So with the right tools, though, they can just navigate that, so so well, and then end up creating the life that they want. So if you have any questions about that, or about like my program, or what I do with missionaries, you can especially returned missionaries, let me tell you, you can go to Jennie dildine.com, forward slash return dash or hyphen, missionaries to learn more about that. So, yeah, it is been really, really fun to help these missionaries overcome that struggle, and really fully embraced the life that they have now and then create whatever they want, which is what we’re talking about today. The four steps to create anything that you want. Here’s where I want to start with this is you are a creator. Okay, I really want that to like sink in today is you are a creator, the same way that our Heavenly Parents are creators, the same way that Jesus Christ helped create the earth as what we what we know. You are a creator, like them. It’s in your DNA. And, and it’s what you’re meant to do for the rest of your life and through eternity. Now, sometimes when we think of creation, we think of things like piano recitals, and art and architecture, and poetry, and music and things like that. But I want you to think of creation, like in a more broad sense, meaning I creating this podcast, I’m creating this podcast right now. Maybe you created a grade and a class that you’re taking, you created a conversation with your companion, we’re always creating my kids today created a playdate with their friends, okay, we’re always trying to move towards something and create something. Sometimes I think, we start seeing our lives like a board game or a video game, that we’re gonna just like, accomplish one level, do one level, kill the bad guy, right? Bowser or whatever. And then we’re gonna move on to the next level. And then our life is a series of like levels that we’ve got a beat and move through and beat and move on. Or sometimes we think of our life, like a game of monopoly is like, if this didn’t go the right way, we’re gonna go directly to jail and do not collect $200, right? But instead, if we believe this concepts, concept, that we’re creators, like our heavenly parents, and like Jesus Christ, then our life becomes more like a painting. And what I was thinking about just recently, is that there’s gonna be, like, shadowed parts of the painting. And there’s going to be lighter parts of the painting. And none of it is bad.

9:44 And so I think sometimes even and I know I talk a lot about this, but that like when we’re feeling kind of down or unmotivated or something like that, that that is bad. It’s not bad. It gives your life texture and meaning because without those darker shadow Would part parts of the painting, there would be no like three dimensional effect, it would be like my stick figures that I raw for my clients when I’m diagramming stuff, okay. So think of your life more like a painting. What do you want to create? What’s the next stroke you want to add to the canvas of your life. So maybe you want to get married, maybe you want your dream job. Maybe you want to buy a car, or get more fit, maybe you want to break a habit, plan a semester abroad, maybe you want to get into dental school. Now, it might sound crazy to boil these certain, like goals or dreams that we have into just four steps. But we’re going to, we’re going to do that today. Okay, the four steps are you have to desire or want it. Number two, you’re going to have to believe it’s possible. Number three, you’re going to have to manage your mind. And number four, you’re going to have to feel your feelings. Alright, so you will need to if you want to get married, or get your dream job, you’re going to need to desire it or want it. Because people will say, Oh, that’s ridiculous. You can create anything you want. Like I can’t be an NBA player. Right? But what’s true, is, if you’re going to create something, it needs to be something that you want. Like, do you actually want to be an NBA player? I mean, maybe, but realistically, is that what you want. And also, by the way, it has to be something that is mostly within your power. Meaning we can’t make someone fall in love with us. Like that, that gets to be within your power. So number two, you have to believe it’s even possible. This analogy I like to use is with this as if we were planting a garden, we wouldn’t plant little seeds in a garden, if we didn’t actually believe it was possible that those would turn into plants and then bear fruit like tomatoes, or zucchini. Come this spring, we would not plant peas in the ground. If we didn’t know that they were going to turn into yummy. Snap Peas, we wouldn’t do it, we have to believe that what we want is possible. So you have to believe that you could get married, you have to believe that you can get that job, you have to believe that it’s possible for you to make enough money to buy a car or get more fit, you have to believe that it’s possible for you to break a habit that you don’t want. And again, it has to again be within your control. So we might say I want this person to become a baptized member of our church. So there’s the desire. We believe it’s possible. But also it has to be within your control. Like we don’t get to decide if someone is a baptized member of our church or not. That has to be come from their thought and feeling and action. Or I want this guy to like me. So there’s the desire. Also believe it’s possible that this guy could like me there steps one and two. But then it’s not necessarily within your control how a guy feels about you. Or I want my parents to show up differently. And trust me more. Again, there’s step one, we can desire it and want it. And step two also possible that our parents can be that way. But when we’re setting these goals for what we want to create, again, the way our parents show up is not within our control, parents get to show up however, they want to show up. So if you’ve met those two criterias desire, something you really desire, something you actually want. believe it’s possible and it’s all within your control. Then the next step is to manage your mind. Okay, if you want to I think I mentioned this on the last podcast you can go back to episode number 57 Habits, goals and dreams and I think it’s always useful. And I would love for you guys to always have sort of like a cloud goal or a dream goal that you’re moving towards. And the way I describe it in that podcast is a dream goal is something we can sort of see that we want in the future. But we don’t know what it’s going to look like, or how we’re going to get there. So maybe, like I want to be married is one of those goals that we can have, like, we don’t know who it’s going to be, we don’t know when we don’t know what it’s going to look like. We don’t know where but we can sort of make out in a fuzzy way, what it might, what it might look like. So once we have that dream goal kind of cloud goal off in the future, we can come back to the present moment, and ask ourselves, what’s the next step? Now just a word of warning, your brain will want to know the whole path, it will want to know how. And I, like talk about this tons with my clients, especially those that are trying to like, figure out what they want to do with their lives and what major and what classes to take and what courses or certifications to take. And they say, Well, this is kind of what I picture in the future. How do I do that? And the trick is, we don’t know the how, if we knew the how all of us would be where we want to be already. So instead, we just come back to the present moment and ask ourselves, again, what’s the next step? So let’s say you want to go to hygiene school, like maybe that is sort of the cloud goal, the thing that you’re working towards? We come back to the present moment, what’s the next step? Well, I’m gonna need to do a little research, I’m going to need to make some applications, I’m going to need to take some massive action towards it. And we figure out what all those steps are, okay. And we can write them down, like what do we think is the next step? How would I get into hygiene school, we do a little bit of passive action, like I talked on the podcast last week, a little bit of a lot of massive action, until we are in to hygiene school. Now, here’s what’s going to happen when you sit down to do the research about hygiene school, I can guarantee you that your lower brain is going to come on line, there’s going to be so much that comes up your brain is gonna be like this is too hard. We don’t have time, your brain is not gonna want to like you can never be a Hi Jen is what makes you think you can do that, like your brain will come online. So here’s where the two last magic steps come in. Manage your mind, and feel your feelings. So always when you sit down to start taking these steps towards what you want. Once you’ve decided that you desire and want it, and that you believe it’s possible, also within your control, then you just pop back and forth between these two things. When your brain says, this is going to be too hard, I don’t even know if we’re going to be a good hygienist or not. And where will we even find a job? Like? Are people even hiring hygienists? Right now? In that moment, we can do step three or step four. Step three is listen brain. Of course, there’s jobs. Of course, I can figure out this out. And we think thoughts that create feelings that we like, where we feel motivated and excited. Okay, but half the time you guys your brain is gonna come online, and we’re gonna believe all those thoughts that maybe we can’t do it that maybe we’re not fit. Maybe no one is hiring. Hi, Janis. We’re going to believe those things and then we’re gonna feel some feelings, we’re gonna feel sad, disappointed, unmotivated. And if that happens, then we just feel we feel our feelings. Those are the two most important steps, manage your mind, feel your feelings. In fact, if I had to boil down all of the work that I do with all of my clients, is into two things is manage your mind, or feel your feelings. If you just pop back and forth between those two things over and over and over and over again. It’s inevitable that you get to your cloud goal.

19:38 So let’s say you decide to finally ask someone out on a date and you’ve gone on a date with them. Maybe you’ve gone on a couple of dates with them, and all of a sudden they’re like, I don’t think this is gonna work out. In that moment, your brains gonna be want to be like we should never date again. I’m the worst. Why does this always happen to me? Then step three and four. Again, manage your mind like listen brain, it’s okay, like, Look, I’m not for everybody, and we can change the way we’re thinking. If that doesn’t work, then just feel disappointed. And then ask someone out again, it really is that simple. Now, sometimes we might need help with some of these things are managing of our mind, and our feeling of our feelings. Right, because that lower brain is super convincing. That’s why I still have a coach, you guys, Amber Smith, shout out, I love you. She helps me manage my brain. And we can’t always see in our own brains, because we’re in our brains. And so she helps me see some of my blind spots to help me kind of work through some of the thoughts and switch out those thoughts and some of my limiting beliefs and stuff like that. And a lot of the times also, we just spend time like processing emotion. And some people will say to me, Well, how do I know when it’s the right time to switch my thought? Or to feel the feeling? And the answer is just when you’re ready, there’s no right or wrong way. To do that, you’ll just ebb and flow in and out of both of those all of the time. Okay, so I hope that makes sense to you. Again, let’s go over those four steps to create anything that you want, you have to desire or want it, you have to believe it’s possible. Again, that garden analogy, and included in here is that it has to be within your control, so that you believe it’s possible. Then number three, manage your mind, that lower brain and number four, feel your feelings. And then if I would add one more step, step five is do step three, and four, three, and four, over and over and over and over, and over and over again, until you get the thing you want, until you’re married, until you get that dream job until you have the car bot until you break your habit. Whatever you’re working towards, just keep managing your mind. And then feeling your feelings. Manage your mind. Feel your feelings, right. And if you need more information on how to do either of those things. This podcast is chock full of how to do that. So go back and listen to some other episodes about how to manage your thoughts, and how to feel your feelings. All right, you guys are amazing, you really can accomplish anything that you want to. So if that sounds like fun, something you want to do for this new year to set a cloud goal. Totally do it and then practice these four steps. Okay? Everyone have the most amazing week sending you so much love wherever you are in the world. Take care. Serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints can present a unique set of challenges. And many of those challenges you might not even see coming. So you’re gonna want a unique set of solutions. It’s easier than you think to overcome worry and anxiety, serve the successful mission you’ve always dreamed up and navigate your post mission experience with confidence. That is why I created some amazing free goodies that I’m sharing in my show notes. Maybe you want to grab the free training for preparing missionaries, my video course for RMS or maybe you and I should hop on a free strategy call. If you’re ready to take your preparedness to serve or your preparedness to come home to the next level. Then go grab one of those freebies. And in the meantime, no matter which part of the mission experience you are involved in. Just know that Jenny, the LDS mission coach is thinking about you every single day

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Hey! I'm Jennie - The LDS Mission Coach.

Preparing for, serving and coming home from an LDS Mission can present countless changes and transitions. I’ve seen these changes put missionaries at the mercy of their emotions and questioning their abilities. With the tools I teach, young adults empower themselves to navigate every moment of the mission experience with epic, unwavering confidence.

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