91. Is it Luck or Something Else?

0:00 Hey, what’s up everyone? It’s Jennie Dildine, the LDS mission coach and you are listening to the LDS mission podcast episode number 91. Is it luck or something else? I’m Jenny, the LDS mission coach. And whether you’re preparing to serve a mission, currently serving a returned missionary or a missionary mama like me, I created this podcast just for you. Are you searching for epic confidence? Ready to love yourself and to learn the how of doing hard things? Then let’s go. I will help you step powerfully into your potential and never question your purpose. Again. It’s time to embrace yourself. Embrace your mission. Embrace your life, and embrace what’s next. Hey, everybody, welcome to the podcast. Guess what today is? St. Patrick’s Day. And guess what else today is? Is my family’s going to the Taylor Swift concert tonight. I’m pretty sure it’s her opening night. And we are super stoked. There’s quite a debate in our household as to whether we should wear green to the concert or not. I kind of feel like I’m gonna wear a little green somewhere, just because I like traditions like that. But both of my daughters are like, No, that is not happening. I am not wearing green. So by the time this podcast comes out, we will have flied I guess not flight, but we will have flown out from our airport in Boise to Arizona. Super fun. We are totally stoked. My son who’s a senior in high school. I wouldn’t say that he is super stoked. But he’s coming along for the ride. And he is excited to just be part of the magic, which fun. We’re going to talk a little bit today about magic and about luck, which is kind of fun. And I’m going to give us all maybe a new take on things about how to think about luck. And so anyway, just happy St. Patrick’s Day to you. I love hanging out with you. I love that you are listening to this podcast, I love to share with you that we can get this podcast on a Google Drive to your missionary. If you’re interested in that you can send an email to podcast at Jennie dildine.com. And we will get you all the information to get your missionary the podcast. Also, did you guys know that every week I open up a few spots on my calendar to have strategy calls. And I have strategy calls with all kinds of people with preparing missionaries. Sometimes tomorrow I’ve got two with currently serving missionaries returned missionaries. I do strategy calls with them to help them kind of figure out what’s next. And then I’ve also been doing a lot of strategy calls with missionary moms who are worried about their missionary. So if that is something you are interested in and would like to get a little bit of one on one help from me, you can go to Jennie dildine.com, and click on the work with me link. And anyway, just know I’m here. I’m here for all of it. I want to help in any way that I can. And if you would like some, if you’d like to dig in deeper to what specifically is going on for you. I am all about it. That would be super fun. So let’s meet up if you want. Okay, today, let’s talk about is it luck, or something else. And I love this idea of all things kind of romantic magic, things that are lucky. I think in one of my podcast episodes, the one where I talked about habits dreams and goals I talked about like leaving a little bit of room for the magic or the unexpected. But I kind of like this time of year where we get to be in a little bit ah and a little bit wonder of like things that are a little bit bigger than us. This time of year when I was a kid. We used to watch this is going to totally date me. So if you know what I’m talking about. You are probably around the same age. But we used to watch movies on St. Patrick’s Day like Darby Oh Gil and the little people it’s a Disney movie and you Don’t remember that one. That one was a little scary sometimes, or maybe the gnome mobiel, which I won’t remember the name of those, the actor and actress in that one. But I always remember that they were the two kids on Mary Poppins. They were also in a film called The Gnome mobile, which we used to like to watch at this time of year. The other one we used to like to watch was lot’s of luck, with a net funa cello. And so lots of fun kind of magical rainbows, pot of gold. chasing your dreams kind of feelings around this time of year, and especially on St. Patrick’s Day. So it’s super fun. But I was thinking a little bit. And actually, I was just talking to my son, who is a senior in high school. And he was sort of telling me about some stuff that had happened to someone, one of his friends in their lives. And he said, Mum, do you remember about a year ago? All that stuff that happened to my friend, and how unlucky they were? And I was like, Yeah, I do remember when all of that stuff happened. And so my question today, is it luck? Or is it something else is kind of what I posed to him. And what I want to pose to you today, and this podcast ended up being just a sort of like a brainstorm of different ways that we can think about things. And so I hope that you can get something out of it. I know, just kind of thinking about it helped me get a lot out of it, myself. So there’s three things we’re gonna kind of talk about today and cover, which is around luck, is that it either has number one, we’re going to question it either happens to me or it doesn’t. Number two, we’re going to kind of take a look at whether we’re confused about what luck is, or a blessing or a miracle is. And then number three, we’re going to maybe take a look at what may be luck is instead, which might be a more fun way to or a more expansive way to look at luck. Okay, so let’s start with this. Number one, it either happens to me or it doesn’t. So one of the problems, I feel with luck is that it kind of puts our ability to create something outside of us. So let’s say we want to create some baptisms and our mission. Or let’s say, we want to create a date with someone after our mission. Or let’s say that we want to create some really amazing like mental and emotional mission prep for ourselves. Or maybe we want to create a family reunion, or maybe we want to create a trip to Europe. Or maybe we want to create some money for the trip to Europe, whatever it is, sometimes, when we kind of chalk everything up to either I’m lucky or I’m not lucky, then we sort of lose access to our ownership or a power over it. So and that can work against us a couple of ways. So first of all, maybe we don’t even try. If we’re just like, oh, well, if I’m lucky, then we’ll get that baptism. Or if I’m lucky, then I’ll get to serve with this companion that I want to serve with. Or if I’m lucky, then I’ll get that job that I always wanted, as opposed to going to work and creating the experience that you want to create. Okay, so that’s one kind of thing that might be problematic. The second thing that might be kind of problematic is that when stuff does happen to us, when we do create amazing results in our lives, is that sometimes we actually like right off that and don’t take ownership of what we’ve created. So let me give you an example. My very first return missionary client, the very first one that I had, after I’d finished my coach training COVID happened, which kind of had us all reeling, and so I wasn’t seeing really a lot of clients during then I feel like my first client was that fall of 2020. My first paying RM client, well, that’s paying client had come to me as a referral from another friend who was a coach, and this was her son

9:50 And I had the tendency to sort of be like, Well, that was lucky. That was lucky that that happened. And instead of really deciding on purpose that I did create that opportunity for myself, I did create that client. And so I think we can take this too far, right? Like, like, we could take it too far in the fact that God doesn’t have a plan for my life. God doesn’t intervene in my life. And that’s not what I’m saying at all. But I think also, sometimes, when we just chalk it up to luck, we also discount or dismiss the wins that we’ve had, and the work that we’ve done, to get to where we are. And so in that moment, I was actually talking to my coach at the time, one of my coaches, Amber Smith, and she said, No, Jenny, you created that. So what are whatever I done up to that point, it wasn’t just luck, it was me going to work and putting my name out there, and making offers to people and telling people that I could help. And so when it comes to, either luck happens to me, or it doesn’t notice that you have more power than you think you do. And also give yourself credit, celebrate your wins, celebrate how far you’ve come. One of my very favorite things to do with my clients after they’ve gone through my program is to talk about where they were. And then talk about where they are now. I’ll say to them to remember our strategy call the really the very first one we had, and I’m like, tell me about what you were telling me about what you were like back then. And they’d say things like, I was just so anxious. I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know what I wanted. I had so much shame around coming home early for my mission. I was not confident, they tell me all these things. And then I say, tell me about where you are now. And I did have one client the other day say to me, You have no idea that this program has changed my entire life. And so my clients will then tell me, I now know I’m right where I’m supposed to be, I now understand how to feel my anxiety and still create the life that I want to create. I now understand that I have worth despite what I do or don’t do, I now have epic confidence and trust myself to create the life that I want to create. And then we just take a minute and we let that land. And sometimes they want to, they want to give that to me. They’ll be like, I’m so lucky, I found you. And I’m like no, you did that. You created this. And was I here for the journey and to like cheering you on and give you some things to think about. Yeah. But you created the change, you created the result and you created the transformation. So let’s not just decide that luck just happens to us or it doesn’t, we create luck, we have the ability to create it. And then when you do create that luck and that good fortune in your life, celebrate that and give yourself permission to let that land, tell yourself, look what I created. I created my own luck. And that’s amazing. Okay, number two, here’s one thing I was kind of considering is that we might all be just a little bit confused about what luck is or a blessing is. Now here’s why this can get tricky, right? If it’s possible for us to be lucky. It’s also possible for us to be down on our luck. If it’s possible for us to be blessed, and count certain things like money, or a car or a job or a baptism as a blessing. It’s also possible then, that we might believe that if we don’t have those things, then we’re cursed. And so what I want to maybe us to kind of think about and maybe consider is that this HUMAN ACTS, this human existence is not just so black and white, either we have luck, or we don’t, or we’re blessed, or cursed, okay, or we experience miracles or we don’t. I love this scripture in Alma 3044 And I’m gonna read it to you here. It’s kind of been like my scripture that’s been running through my head most often lately, and it’s Alma 3040. For, and it says, The Scriptures are laid before the yay. And all things denote that there is a god. Okay, it says, Yay, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yay. And it’s motion, yay. And also the planets which move in their regular form, do witness that there is a supreme creator. And I just love this so much. Because as humans, we sort of have this idea about what’s lucky, and what’s not lucky, and what’s a blessing and what’s not a blessing. And I think that maybe, sometimes we get it wrong, because we don’t see the whole like, picture that our heavenly parents see. And we don’t see that our heavenly parents, and Jesus Christ, like put this plan into motion. And we kind of connotates things that don’t feel as good as bad. And we kind of decided that things that feel a lot better, are good. But I’m not sure that we really know what’s good for us, and what’s bad for us, for sure. Unlike that bigger, eternal scheme of things, you don’t see the whole picture. So let me give you an example of this. Both of my daughters are registering for their classes for next year. And we have no idea that maybe when we get to the other side, that will see the whole picture and be like, oh, man, I wish I would have taken that class, I wish I would have taken that course. We have no idea that maybe before we came to this earth, we were all signing up for our different life courses and the things that we were supposed to learn and the things we were supposed to grow from, and the things that would bring more like, growth and transformation into our lives, that we were all like standing in line to get that class or that course. Now, some of them that with our human brains are mortal brains where we’re just like, Nope, that’s bad. Right? Or nope, not lucky. Nope, not a blessing. Let me give you a couple examples of what this might be coming home from your mission earlier than you had plant. Having some depression, or seasonal affective disorder. Kind of like I struggle with a little bit right now. Or maybe someone super challenging in your life. Like for me, I ended up having a special needs son. Like a lot of us would be like, nope, not lucky. Nope. It’s not a blessing. But what if we’re wrong? What if is, what if it’s actually true? That all of you all were up in heaven? And there were like, Who wants mission? Like, course number 405. It’s the one where you come home earlier than you were planning. And all of us were like, me, I wanted that class because we knew what we were going to gain from it. And we knew what we were going to learn. And some people were like, Nah, I don’t. I don’t know. I’m not I don’t know. But the those of us who were like are in for learning and growth. Maybe we were fighting over those spots. Maybe once we found out that those spots were full. We were like, dang it. I guess I’ll just do mission 101. Right. It’s kind of a mind bender, because we think it should look this certain way. We think we know what’s good, as in our mortal brains, but we don’t have the whole picture maybe on the other side. When we get there. They’ll be like, All right, everybody who had mission 404 The one where you come for oh five, the one where you came home earlier than you planned? Your gut? Check in check. Good job. Glad you made it through. Glad you made it through safely. That was tough, right? And then the atonement just like carries us through all of it right? Again, maybe? Like I don’t know, I’m just playing with ideas here. But maybe before I came to this earth, everyone was like, Alright, who wants the seasonal affective line?

19:48 Again, nothing I’ve ever been diagnosed with. But I do notice a big difference for me in the winter, when things are dark and when things are cold in my mood. And I have to keep On top of like, feeling kind of super down or discouraged or depressed, who’s to say that we weren’t all like, oh my gosh, I want him to that class, because you know what, I’m going to learn a whole bunch of things. And then the people around me are going to learn a whole bunch of things. And my children are going to learn a whole bunch of things, like about compassion, and understanding and self love. Okay, it’s possible, we just don’t know. And then as far as like, someone challenging in your life, like a special needs person or a difficult companion, right, or maybe a spouse who is struggling in some way, or maybe a challenge that you have in your own life, maybe we’ve been wrong, that that’s bad. Or to our mortal brains, it might be bad. But if we knew the whole picture, maybe We’re the lucky ones, if we came home earlier than our mission earlier than we planned from our mission, or we have a little like seasonal affective disorder, or depression, or maybe We’re the lucky ones if we have a challenging companion. And I’m not saying that this is useful for everyone to think about it this way. And I’m by no means like, making a blanket statement. But in the context of what I’m trying to, you know, talk to you about today, we might be confused about what being lucky, or having a blessing is. And remembering that all things to note that there is a God, he put this plan into motion. And he knew that some of us were going to have difficult companions, and some of us were going to struggle with anxiety. And some of us were going to transfer to service missions, he knew that some of us were going to have PTSD after our mission. And what if none of it’s bad? What if we’re all lucky, I have this story that I like from a friend kind of just an anecdotal story. She’s another coach, and Natalie clay. So shout out to her she shared this story one time about how she was at a merry go round. And maybe I’ve shared this on the podcast before, but it’s such a good analogy I’m going to share with share it with you here again, is that she was at a merry go round. And she was watching this merry go round. And she watched one girl that had been on this purple horse with a gold bow. And this girl, like wanted that horse really bad. And so she, you know, rode the merry go round. And then at the very end, right at the end, she threw up all over that horse. And I guess I guess the round and round didn’t sit well with her, I don’t know. But then what my what my friend Natalie observed was that there was two siblings that were then on the next round. So the guy came and he wiped off the horse and you know, sprayed it down or whatever, and clean it up with paper towels. And then what she observed is two girls, two sisters coming up and fighting over who got the purple horse with the gold bow. And she just watched. And it was just so fascinating that these two girls were fighting over this horse, but they didn’t have the whole picture. They just could only see what they could see in that moment. And in their minds, they’re like, Oh, I’ll be lucky if I get that horse with the gold gold tail. Or I’ll be blessed if I get that horse with the gold tail. Right. That’s what they thought in their minds with their, like finite understanding of what had happened. When my friend Natalie could see it from the outside. She’s like, the person that one actually the person that was quote unquote, Lucky was the one who didn’t get that horse. And it’s hard for us to see that in the moment. I get that. But maybe we’re kind of confused about what luck is or a blessing is. I think we also kind of run into trouble when we use this like Hashtag blessed, right? Especially when it comes to like money when it comes to like I got this car or I got to go on this trip. I think we just gotta be a little bit careful about that because maybe luck is something different than actual things outside of us. And I think blessings and luck and miracles can under those things, but let’s maybe talk a little bit about what it might be, instead, number three, what maybe luck is instead. So here’s what I think. And you can take this or leave it. But what I think a blessing is, is the blessing is us. And the blessing is the atonement. And the blessing is the transformation that we get to make through going through these experiences. So through the Atonement through Jesus Christ, right, all of these things coming home from your mission earlier than you planned. Having some depression or anxiety, some of the challenging people in your life, some of the challenging circumstances in your life can be through the Atonement, through the sanctifying process, become the blessing. A couple of weeks ago in Relief Society, I can’t remember if I shared this on the podcast or not, but it fits in really well here a couple of weeks ago, in Relief Society, sometimes what they like to do is they like to say who has a miracle they want to share was a miracle. And it was a lot of things like, Well, my son was here, and now he’s doing this, which is so amazing. And it was a lot of like, my husband didn’t have a job. But now he’s this and he has a job. That’s the miracle. And I was just like, in my mind, kind of stewing like, oh, I don’t know. Because what we run into right is when we think that the miracle is outside of us, then we kind of open up the door for other people to be like, Well, that didn’t happen to my son. Er, that didn’t happen to my husband. So where’s my miracle? Right. And so I just, I did, I raised my hand and I said, I think we got to be really careful here. I think what’s actually true is the miracle is us. The miracle is the atonement that changes us. That changes our heart that changes our mindset, that changes our perspective. And changes our ability to turn our lives over to our Heavenly Father or heavenly parents. I love this song, by Shana Edwards, the miracle, and maybe you know this one, there’s the chorus goes. And I could sing it for you. But I want well, maybe I’ll sing you a little bit Jesus’s God of miracles. Anyone know this one? Okay. Now I’ll just read it to you. Jesus is a God of miracles. Nothing is at all impossible to him. But I know this, of all His miracles, the most incredible must be the miracle that rescues me. And when we think about that rescue through the Atonement, it’s a change of heart. It’s a change of mindset. It’s a change of perspective. It’s a change of the way we see ourselves, the way God sees us. And that’s the miracle. So maybe believing in luck, or blessings or miracles, is just a belief. impossibility. The song, Shana Edward says nothing is at all impossible to him. And so maybe, just maybe, we’re all lucky. We’re all blessed. We are all the miracle. Because here’s the truth you guys beat with our finite capabilities or human capabilities, we don’t really know what’s lucky or unlucky. With our human limited view, we can’t possibly know. So instead, we just got to trust, trust. Trust. One of my favorite thoughts that I love to believe gives me possibility

29:32 makes me feel lucky makes me feel blessed. Makes me feel like I’m the miracle even in the most difficult and the most challenging of circumstances is I just choose to believe that all of this is working in my favor. I choose to believe that all things denote that there is a God It’s kind of personal. And I’ve shared this on a few other podcasts that I’ve been on, but I don’t think I’ve shared it on this one. But when my kids went on missions, I never prayed that they would have the best, most lucky, most blessed miracle field missions. In instead, I prayed that they would have the exact experience that would change them, and transform them into who they were meant to be. Which we find out after all, is even when that’s hard, is them being lucky is them being blessed is the miracle. So as we kind of wrap this up, and I hope it’s been fun for you to kind of think about and kind of ponder, is it luck? Or is it something else? Um, I want to share with you this proverb and I’m just gonna read it to you, and you can just kind of see what kind of comes up for you. So it says there is a Chinese proverb that goes something like this. A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion, who helped the family earn a living. One day the horse ran away, and their neighbors exclaimed, your horse ran away. What terrible luck? The farmer replied. Maybe so? Maybe not. We’ll see. A few days later, the horse returned home, leaning a few wild mares back to the farm as well. The neighbor shouted out your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck. The farmer replied. Maybe so? Maybe not. We’ll see. Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to break one of the new mirrors, and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. And the villagers cried, Oh, no, your son broke his leg. What terrible luck? The farmer replied. Maybe so? Maybe not. We’ll see. A few weeks later, soldiers from the National Army marched through town, recruiting all the able bodied boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, who is still recovering from his injury. Friend shouted, your boy is spared what tremendous luck? To which the farmer replied, maybe so maybe not. We’ll see. I love this. Because this farmer was open to possibility. Instead of categorizing the things that happened to us as good or bad, or lucky, or unlucky, or blessed, or cursed, maybe believing in luck is believing and possibility. Maybe it’s believing and having hope. Possibility. And us seeing the possibility and others seeing new possibilities in our future and in the world that surrounds us. Maybe luck is the same as understanding the possibility that we can make our lives what we want them to be. Do we have the power to do that, that we have the power to take action and create? And that in the process of all of the suffering and the heartache and the difficult time, that Christ sanctifies all of it for learning and growth, if returned to him? And to me, you guys, that’s the blessing. That’s the miracle. And it also tells me, we’re all lucky. All right, I hope you have the most amazing St. Patrick’s Day. I hope that this helps you. And we will talk to next time. Serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints can present a unique set of challenges. And many of those challenges you might not even see coming. So you’re gonna want a unique set of solutions. It’s easier than you think to overcome worry and anxiety serve the successful mission you’ve always dreamed up and navigate your post mission experience with confidence. That is why I created some amazing free goodies that I’m sharing in my show notes. Maybe you want to grab the free training for preparing missionaries, my video course for RMS or maybe you and I should hop on a free strategy call. If you’re ready to take your preparedness to serve or your preparedness to come home to the next level. Then go grab one of those freebies and in the meantime no matter which part of the mission experience you were involved in just know that Jenny the LDS mission coach is thinking about you every single day