Every single feeling we have in our lives is because of a way that we have been thinking or believing. Here’s a little bit of info for you: your difficult mission companion was never actually the one annoying you. It’s actually the best news ever. And I’m going to explain why.
Through my coaching, I have heard all kinds of things going on for people…
- Getting dumped by a girlfriend.
- Dealing with a difficult mission president.
- Falling out with a parent.
- Not fitting into a swimsuit.
- Enduring online learning.
And the list goes on and on.
Here’s What You Need to Know
But, here’s what I want you to know: None of these examples, even in the midst of them, has any power to make us feel any certain way. Our thoughts, alone, create our feelings. Not the circumstance itself.
COVID-19 has been a perfect life illustration of this. None of us has been able to control or change what has been happening around us, but there are a million different ways that we can view or perceive the situation.
Certain Thoughts Create Certain Emotions
The people who are thinking: “This is terrible,” have been feeling a lot of fear.
The people who are thinking: “I can figure this out,” have been feeling self-confident.
The people who are thinking: “I got cheated out of a normal mission experience,” have been feeling disappointed.
The people who are thinking: “It is so cool that I get to serve in two missions,” have been feeling excited.
If COVID-19 was the reason anyone was feeling anything, we’d all be feeling the exact same way. But, instead… the ways that people feel, are as varied as the people themselves. And it is all because of what individual people are thinking and believing.
So, it was never the girlfriend, or the mission president, or the parent or the swimsuit, or the online learning that made you feel anything. It was your THINKING about these things that caused you to feel something and then behave in a certain way.
Why is This So Important?
This is everything! Because, if our circumstances can’t make us feel anything, we take all of our emotional power back. We get to decide how we want to think and we get to decide how we want to feel about EVERYTHING.
Now, sometimes… we are just going to want to feel fear or disappointment. In fact, I recommend that you do. Just as often as it comes up. But, as soon as we process the negative emotion all of the way through and are ready, any thought is available to us.
We get to choose.
So, now do you understand why your mission companion could never annoy you? The truth is, you annoyed yourself, with the way that you were thinking about them.
A Word of Caution and Some Good News
A word of caution: the first time we understood this concept, it can almost feel a little discouraging that we can no longer blame our mission companions, or ANYTHING else for the way we are feeling…
But, the good news is:
It is also, simultaneously, freeing and super empowering.
It’s actually the best news ever.